Tuesday report

Doing good

I was 180 even yesterday so i'm real close to being out of the 180s!  today was higher but it was water weight, so i'm not counting it.

Eating very healthy today and got in some bellydancing and pilates. 

I am on track for a great week.

Are you?

Two days, amazing

I have eaten on plan and exercised for two days in a row, and I just feel so much better.  I'm not bloated.  my weight is back down to 180.8 today vs 182.2 yesterday.  I just feel wonderful. 

I did some cardio yesterday but was bored and not challenged,  so apparently I need to find some more intense cardio videos or stick to the treadmill at a high incline or the bike and pedal like a mad woman or with a higher resistance.  I have to do jumping jacks on my own in a lot of these videos to get my heart rate up.

So then I decided I'd do some pilates.  I love pilates!!   I can do it barefooted, and that intrigues me!!  I got to kick off my shoes and have fun in my living room.  It was great to be able to concentrate on the movements and my breathing but I still felt my muscles working.  Ahh, what a feeling.

Today will be another fantastic day.  It's great to fill my body with healthy foods. I don't feel famished or hungry.  I feel satisfied but not stuffed.  I feel just right.

Oh, did I tell you guys that a private investigator at my job two days ago asked me when i was due!! OMG!  I was like, "Oh my god!!  I am not pregnant!  I didn't even think my stomach was that big!!" 

He felt bad, but the other male in the room says, "Come on.  You're old enough to know better than to ask a woman a question like that!" 

As if i hadn't been down on myself enough lately, that had to happen 

But I didn't let it get to me    I'm a happy nonpregnant camper!

Only one day

I ate healthy yesterday and I just felt so much better.  I wasn't exhausted in the afternoon.  I felt good.  I did have two small chocolates at the law office I was at.  I'll be there again today but no chocolate today.  I know chocolate is good for us, but I need to just learn to live without it even if it's right in front of me calling my name!   I got in 30 minutes of circuit bootcamp yesterday too.

Today for breakfast, so delicious and filling and healthy

• 1 slice oroweat active health bread
• 1 whole egg
• 2 egg whites
• 1 T of organic almond butter on the bread

It just felt so good to eat healthy.  I cooked cinnamon rolls for my daughter and hubby and I didn't even have one single bite.  I am in control.  I keep repeating this in my head.  I AM IN CONTROL!  I AM IN CONTROL! I choose to eat treats or eat healthy.  I choose!!  Yep, me.  Only me.

Now I choose to do some cardio, so i'm out of here

Oh, i'm going to try Zumba next week.  I found a place nearby that offers it two  nights a week.  I'm hoping to find someone to drag along with me, though, as i'm chicken and i have no rhythm!  I can't dance. LOL 

what game?

I read my blog yesterday so many times and just was in awe in how silly i sometimes am.  those folks on the yahoo board are right -- i am nuts!  I'm cookoo.  I'm just not all there.  I know this!

I am learning along the way.  I don't eat healthy every day.  Why?  It always comes down to two simple questions:  Do i want to be healthy?  Do i want to be thin?  If I want those things. I will gain control over my body, my thoughts, my actions, and make it happen.  I am in control.  So even the days I don't eat perfect, does it really matter so much?  Those thin people out there in the world wherever they may be don't eat right every day. They have fried foods. They have cookies. They have candy. But they move on and don't obsess about it.

It is what it is.

Well I'm tired of being the way I am.  Only I can change it.

I did so great for a few months. I was motivated. I knew I was going to be weighed every month.  I did not want to look like a failure.  I refused to go get weighed in and not have a loss. 

I can't have monthly weigh-ins the rest of my life. It's not reality.  I have to be accountable to me and me alone.  and I owe it to my family to be as healthy as I can. 

My daughter would be so sad and devastated and lonely if I were to die because of my selfish acts of pigging out on food and carrying around too much weight in my midsection. 

I can only take control of my exercise and my eating.  What happens to my body otherwise is left up in the air to who knows what!

So i choose to be in control.  I am making the choice.  No one is making it for me.  

I have had a revelation today. I have come to peace with my inner being.  I can't change the past.  I can't look at myself in disgust and wish i hadn't ruined my body in the first place.

I must look at the now, the present, and make a difference each and every day, with every bite of food i put in my mouth. 

This is not to say I will eat healthy 100% of the time.  That's just absurd to think like that.  But I will be in control when I do make the choice to indulge in something sweet, something fried, something chocolatey!

Okay.  I'm done rambling.  Now you guys probably think I'm a complete nut.  that's okay.  I am. 

Realizations, reflections

I had a great post and poof, it was gone. I hate this damn computer's trackpad. ARGH!

So here goes again.

I had a great weekend. Today I walked my daughter to school and we took the new puppy, maggie, and she did great.  No barking at any of the kids or adults.  yay!  And I got in some exercise before bkfast, even if it is just one mile and not at a real fast pace, but better than nothing.  

High School Musical 3 was fun! Lots of singing and my daughter loved it.

I either want to lose more weight or I don't.  I have decided that I do!! So I must take action to make it happen.  I must have a  plan.  I'm working on that.  I have been content enough at 180 to stay here a couple months, but tis the time to move on, though I'm not sure I have a set goal in mind.  I hate to have a goal and then not meet it and feel like a failure.  So my plan will be more along the lines of eating no more than 1600 calories 4 days out of the week, no more than 1800 on the weekends, get in 4 days of cardio, 2 days weights, some pilates, things like that.  So if I do all of that, I know I will succeed!

As for my food issues with sweets, it is what it is.  I have a friend who is a size 0 who will eat a whole bag of chips.   She can't stop eating chips, and I can't stop eating cookies.  And she's skinny and never been fat.  so we all have our downfalls.  I know what mine is thank god!!  Do you know what yours is?  So i avoid having fresh baked cookies in the house.  simple as that.  No cookies, no binging.

Have a fantasteriffic day!

Fun-filled weekend awaits!

I hope we have a great weekend. My daughter had a bit of an attitude this morning and I told her I will not reward her by partaking in fall festivals and fun things if she is not nice and appreciative.  She apologized and it looked genuine. We'll see if she gets a green light today at school.

I was 180.2 for my weigh-in yesterday, so the same as the week prior.  I didn't try real hard last week. I got in a rut with exercise and haven't worked out to my full potential and PMS has just got me grumpy and eating poptarts, which I never do!  I'll work hard this week for a big loss next Thursday. 

Have a wonderful Friday!

Help!

I tried to exercise.  I tried 3 different videos and I just didn't feel like doing any of them.  I need some suggestions for this slump.  I want to keep losing!

okay. i just read that and realize how stupid i sound.  If I want to keep losing, then i'll put my big girl panties on and just exercise.  JUST DO IT!

So I don't need help, but thanks for the offer

Hump Day!

Tomorrow is weigh-in and i'm sad it won't show a loss.  My weight is up 3 pounds from Monday even though I haven't eaten anything horrible! Even on Monday with  my overeating, I still only netted 1400 calories for the whole day.  Must be water weight due to TOM, so I'll be looking at a bigger loss next week, probably.

I got busy yesterday morning with transcripts and then getting ready for work, went to work, got a puppy last night!!  And so I did not work out yesterday.  I ate great, though. 

I'm completely on track today with All Bran for bkfast and nothing as of yet as it's only 10 am!  I have no work outside the home today so I will for sure do a video. Time for weights again so I'll do a circuit DVD I have. 

And I'm loving my new puppy.  I'll post a pic of her later!! She's an absolute little doll, and my daughter loves her.  we all love her.

Tuesday Report

Cravings took over a bit yesterday and I ate two glazed donuts, 1.5 pop tarts, and a dove chocolate bar!!  The donuts and the candy bar were good.  The pop tarts was completely stupid.  Stupid TOM is due Friday and I promised myself I wouldn't let the mental cravings take ahold of me, and they did.

But not today! So go away cravings.  I will not cave!!  Nope.  Not going to do it.  I have a goal to meet.   So I'm going to throw those cravings in the garbage.  Wait!  What cravings?  Ha!  I think they were fulfilled yesterday, and I feel completely bloated today and ick, so I know I won't be repeating that again.  Ewe, such a gross feeling!

Time to do some cardio and sweat away some of that bloat!