Stuck

Well, I have reached a plateau.  I can't seem to lose any more weight.  I have been sticking to the diet, but I have stayed the same weight.  I am feeling a little frustrated.  I am trying really hard not to get discouraged, but I feel like I am losing my grip.  I need help!!!

Shocked!!

OMG!!  I am so shocked!!  I didn't expect to lose anything today.  I went out last night to hometown buffet for dinner.  I know, buffet, not exactly where you need to be when your trying to lose weight right!!  But I did really good.  I had steak and vegetables.  The only bad thing I had was thoses small breaded shrimp.  They are so good!!  I am on the southbeach diet.  So I followed all the guide lines and didn't even have dessert.  Though that was thanks to my youngest.  He was not behaving.  But thats ok, he saved me from eating something I shouldn't have! 

I feel so good!!  I am so excited.  I haven't been below 240 in a very long time.  I can't wait to put on a pair of jeans and find they are too big.

Bye:)

I'm still here!

So I've been out of the game for awhile.  But I am back and motivated.  So here I go!!!

:)

     So, i'm still sick but getting better.  I haven't been to the gym yet.  I don't feel good enough yet.  My chest is whats really been nagging me.  But I'll survive.  I am weigh 246.  I am actually happy about it.  I am glad I haven't gained any.  I really want this to be the time when I can lose it and keep it off.  I have been feeling really good emotionaly.  I went shopping.  Even though I still where the same size in clothes, it is still nice to get something new.  Besides, shopping makes every girl happier right.  :)  So anyway I am going to try to make it to the gym tomorrow morning.  Even if I can't do my regular workout I will at least walk on the treadmill.  Something is better than nothing.

     My husband is training to be a truck driver and has been gone for a little over a month.  I think I am okay with it.  It hasen't really been hard without him, but there are days that I wish he were here.  I talk to him everyday on the phone.  What is wierd is that we don't really have much to talk about.  It seems like everything is normal.  Like the way it was before he left.  That worries me a little.  This is really part of the reason that I want to lose the weight.  I think we have lost some of the spark that we used to have.  I think it is probably more me then him.  I don't feel good about myself, and I think it shows in our relationship. 

     On a lighter note, I have started a new semester is college.  I am taking child development, psychology, and real estate.  As you can see I am not sur where I want to go yet.  I like all of these subjects.  Especially child development and psychology.  I am hoping that these classes will not only help me descide what I want for my career, but also help me as a parent, wife, daughter, and sister. 

     My relationship with my mom and sister is a little strained.  My mom lives with my husband, myself and our children.  We are really alot alike.  I think that is the problem.  But my mom really likes to create drama and to be in control of other peoples (my sister, and my) relationships.  My sister is the complete opposite of me.  She has so much going on.  She is very self serving.  I guess I try to distance myself from her and her issues because I don't need anyone else's problems.  My mom loves to be in the thick of it.  This poses a problem because she lives with me and brings all my sisters problems into our home.  I have been reading the book the Secret, and am really tyring to be positive.  So I really want to stay away from all of that negative stuff.

     So now that I have unloaded I feel much better.  Maybe I won't wait so long to unload again.  Thanks for listening.  Happy Monday!

I'm still here!

So I haven't lost anymore weight, but I haven't gained any either.  I have been really sick.  I have the worst sinus infection you could ever imagine.  On top of that, both of my boys are also sick.  I feel horrible.  I feel really bad about not being able to work out at the gym.  I really want to lose more weight.  So anyway hope everyone is doing well. 

Yay!!

So I started the nutrisystem diet yesterday.  I didn't really think I would see any results.  I ate so much food.  I didn't think you could diet and eat that much food!!  I got on the scale today and I had lost more weight.  I was thinking yesterday that I probably wouldn't do the diet because I didn't really think I would lose any weight.  But today I am excited.  I hope to keep losing!! 

Back On Track.

Well I started my diet this morning.  I feel so much better being on my diet again.  Not to mention all the nice comments I received.  My mood has totally changed.  I feel really good today.  I was planning to go walking at the golf course near my home but it has begun to rain pretty hard.  I have decided to go to the gym tonight and spend the day with my boys. 

I Need To VENT!!!

So my husband left this morning.  I was feeling really depressed and cried alot.  Not just because he had to leave again but I guess because I learned something about myself during our time apart.  It really scared me.  I felt a sense of freedom.  Like I could take charge of my life and make decisions again.  I guess I sort of feel like he brought me down.  When I first met my husband at 17, I was working, I had a car, I was in college, I was having alot of fun.  When we started dating, I gave up alot of things.  I pretty much stoped everything to be with him.  I guess I made that choice, he can't be blamed for that completely.  After the birth of our first son I guess I thought he would grow up.  I know that having a child really brought things into perspective for me.  I really feel like it matured me.  I thought it would do the same to him.  Even getting married and have our second son didn't have an effect on him.  Don't get me wrong, I didn't get married and have another child thinking it would change him.  I do love him!  And I love our sons!  I guess what I am babbling about is that it scares me to think that we have(or maybe I have)grown apart.  I want a career, I want a husband who connects with me at my level, someone who brings something new to the relatonship, someone who wants to be involved with our children on a deeper level than just observing them.  I feel an empty space in my life!!  It has been there for a while, I guess I just didn't want to see it.   So what do I do?  I have been thinking that I am going to use this time apart to make some changes in myself.  I've been wanting to lose weight for a while.  I also want to finish school, and get a part time job.  I hope that with my sucess will come enlightenment.  Maybe then I will have an answer.  Well thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this, thanks for letting me vent.  I feel much better!

Help!

     Since my husband is home I decided to cook something for him.  He has been complaining that he is dying for a home cooked meal.  So I grilled some chicken and made some rice and green beans to go with it.  I also made potato salad.  Probably not the healthiest choice!  But I actually don't care for potato salad.  So I didn't eat much of it.  I guess I didn't do to bad.  I feel like I didn't stick to my diet exactly.  I guess with my husband home everything is sort of off track. 

     I guess I have been enjoying my space while he has been gone.  I actually have the kids on a schedule!!  Thats a miracle in it self.  Anyway I gotta go. 

Stressed out!!

Well my husband came home for the weekend and I thought that this would be a great time to spend a little quality time together.  But it seems that even after not seeing the kids and I for two weeks, he hasn't changed.  I have always ben frustrated with the fact that he is not really involved on a family level as he should.  I think I am feeling more stressed out and depressed now that he is here.  I am almost excited that he is leaving again tomorrow.  All I want to do is eat!!