Bad things happen for good reasons.. weird enough

Hello All
How was all of your thanksgivings?  Mine was ehh.  I woke up in the morning and went to the hospital to be with my dad and his family for a bit.  We went into the room where my uncle is and actually sat there talking and shooting the shit for a bout a half hour.  It was good.  My sister is a nurse and knows how to read the machines.  While we were there every time we laughed or something somethings would change on his machines.. I think he heard us and was happy.  After we were there we went to my mothers house for thanks giving dinner. I was so exhausted before dinner I almost fell asleep.  we ate dinner ( I did very well with portion control!!!) and I had a coffee to help wake myself up.  I then get a call that my uncles body is fauiling and that he is going to pass naturally either last night or this morning.  My sister went up to the hospital and I decided to run home to put away things.  Once I get home I get a call to get up there ASAP it's not going to be any longer.  So my BF and I fly to the hospital which is about 45 mins away.. I made it in about 20.  I get rushed into the room to spend some last moments with my uncle.  My father, uncles wife and daughter are in the room.. It was hard and very very sad.  I said my last goodbyes, held my cousin and my aunt and then also my father.. as I said in a post a few days ago my father and I are not that tight, we used to be when I was young.  I told my father I loved him and how im sorry i don't say it enough.  we really had a BIG bonding moment.  I didn't want to let him go, but I wanted him, my aunt and cousin to have their moments with my uncle.  They were the tightest with him out of all 13 brothers and sisters my father has.  My father came out in the waiting room with all of us shortly after.  Another half hour or so passed, (yes there are about 20+ of us in the waiting room) my father goes in, comes back out a little bit later to tell us he passed.  =(  So yeah last night he passed away, is in no more pain and now is watching over all of us.  My other uncle is taking care of him now and showing him the ropes of the after life.  I know that he's gone but like my title of this post.... EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  For my father and I to bond the way that we did... I think that was a big reason and a wake up call to both of us.  It was also a wake up call to me, to not shun away my father and family like I do alot.  On a good note... At least my uncle passed on his favorite holiday.  Thanks giving was his most favorite.. more then xmas.  It's going to be odd now not having him there cooking another turkey in a deep fryer or joking around with him saying that I'm going to eat all the pie and not give him any or vise versa.  But even though he's not there physically I know he'll be there mentally.  I also feel like he was waiting.. Waiting till everyone was there before he passed.  It wasn't long after I showed up that he passed so that was kindof odd.  
I know this has nothing to do with weight loss and eating and so on... sorry.. I just need to get things out sometimes.  

On another note....
I did really well eating yesterday.  I enjoyed all the food I wanted but had very little amounts.  I had great portion control and even my mother noticed I am shrinking.  Today we're going to my BF's familys house for some dinner, then we are going to the Hartford festival of lights.  We're going to keep it a romantic thing.  Get some Hot Cocoa watch santa come and turn on all the city christmas lights.  It will be a good time.  I also took measurements this morning and my stomach shrank 3 freaking inches!  WOWZA!

Ok... I gotta try to get caught up on homework.  Sorry I haven't been checking on you guys this week..  It's been a tough week but I will be back to my normal self shortly and be there to cheer you all on! 

Did I Jinx myself?

Today it's a rainey cold day.  I got a call from my step mother last night that my uncle is in the hospital.  He had a bad heart attack, stopped breathing for about 10 mins and was in the hospital.  From what the dr's are saying it doesn't look good.  This is my dad's little brother.  My dad has about 15, yes 15 brothers and sisters.  Uncle Robin is the youngest out of all of them.  My father is the second youngest.  Out of all those brothers and sisters uncle Robin is the only one we keep in touch with, and the only one who lives in our state.  Everyone else lives in Deleware or in Maryland. 

To give you all alittle more back ground.  My dad and my uncle are not that healthy.  My uncle has to be about 400 pounds!  My father has to be about 300 or so.  They were both doing weight watchers over the summer and loosing alot of weight.  I was so proud of my father that he was actually doing something good for him and his health.  My father and I do not have the greatest relationship.  In my eyes alot of the times he's a lying loser.  And yes I do have jealousy and envy that he's actually a father with his new family.  They live in a pretty nice sized house, big back yard and give my little brother anything he wants.  Where as I grew up with no back yard, nothing upto date and new..I grew up in a ghetto, hearing gun shots at night was a normal thing, and yes I raised my sister because my mother had to work 2+ jobs to make up the childsupport my father wasn't paying.    So yeah I do have anger issues towards my father... but the one thing I never want is to loose my father especially due to a heart attack or something of the sort.  I never wish death upon ANYONE!  HOPEFULLY my uncle will be ok... HOPEFULLY both him and my father wake up and realize they are not healthy and need to do something about it!  I actaully told my father last night, "This is why it's very important to take care of yourself, you and Danielle (step mom) was doing so good on weight watchers I was so proud of you but now you guys stopped and gained the weight back!"  I really hope as sad as it is.. that this opens thier eyes to how important it is to be healthy.  Being super over weight like that, it's kindof committing a slow suicide on yourself.  ugh..

Then when I called my mother to tell her about uncle robin last night she told me that her cat that was sick last week passed away yesterday. =( BLAHHHHH all this crazyness going on.  It's rainey and cold I don't want to be here!

I woke up super late this morning.  I woke up at the time I'm supposed to be at work so I was an hour late getting here...  So i'm taking a half hour lunch and staying a half hour late today.  I have a big homework assignment due tonight, yet I tried to work on it yesterday and well I couldn't think.  I have to do it tonight.  yet after work I'm going to the hospital to see my uncle.  He's in some sort of coma right now I guess.  BLAAAAAH trying to be positive...

on that note for food today I have:
Coffee
Salad
yogurt
Banana
1/2 cup cottage cheese

OHHHHHH COLLEEN NO!!!!!
My favorite person got voted off TBL last night.  =(
But man she looked amazing on the follow up!  She is definitly keeping up with her self. 
It was a pretty good episode.  I really liked how they brought the 80's back last night.  They all looked sooo cute with the ripped up clothing and bright colors.  And was that black lipstick allison was wearing at the challenge?  IF so that was pretty hot!  Go Allison! hahaha
I really wish Vicky went home last night.  She's an evil little thing.  Hopefully some how she will be let go in the next coming weeks. 

Onto me.. I was getting homework done last night for.... 4 hours! UGH!  Winter break.. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!  I mean it doesn't help I was mainly watching TBL and getting homework done during commercials or during parts that nothing was going on.  That's probably why it took so long.

The BF is off this weekend which is super rare.  It's unusual for him to have a weekend off. Friday night I have a car club meet, so we are going to go to that for dinner.  It's at Hooters (I hate thier food!)  I'm just gonna get a salad or something simple like that.  Then I guess he's playing drums with some of his friends at a night club.  It's pretty cool.  His friends DJ techno, and he plays live percussion with Bongos and Timballis to it.  He hasn't done it in a long time and I know it was something he used to love to do.. So it will be pretty fun and neat.

work is super busy again today so I'm not sure how much I can get back to all of you.  I'm going to try and maybe later it will slow down.

Today for food I have:
coffee
banana
grapes
apple sauce
fruit bar
lunch - home made tortalini soup

not sure yet what is for dinner

dinner not sure yet

I got this in an email I get from Jillian every week or so with little tid bits and help.  Thought this was interesting and wanted to share with you ladies. 

Are You a Binge Eater?
If you're inclined to binge, the most important thing to do for yourself is to examine the emotional reasons behind your problem. I know that processing those emotions is hard and takes time, but here are some good techniques to help you modify your behavior and combat binge eating in the future:

Banish binge foods from your environment. Don't buy or purchase stuff that you can binge on. You can't eat what's not there, so get rid of it.

Try taking up a hobby. Keep yourself occupied so that rather than focusing on food, you'll distract yourself with something productive.

Decorate your fridge with stuff that motivates you. I have two pictures on mine: One is a photo of my cellulite, and the other is of Madonna. Let me tell ya, there is nothing that will turn you off to food like Madonna's rock-hard muscles next to a picture of the cottage cheese on your butt.

Call a friend. The next time you want to stuff your face, reach out for support and try talking through your feelings instead of anesthetizing them by bingeing.

Do something to screw up your binge. In other words, pamper yourself with something that's positive as opposed to self-destructive. Get a mani-pedi. Take a bubble bath. Go to the gym. There are many places to go and activities to take part in that'll also lead you away from food temptations.

Real work takes time, so it's good to have some techniques to fall back on when life gets the better of you! And remember: one day at a time. If you do end up in a binge, work out a little harder the next day. Every day is a new one. Got it, kids? Cool.

Hellos good morning.
I need a vacation.  Yeah that's what I'm concluding.  I need to go on vacation!
I have one coming up in March.  The BF and I are planning on going to Vegas for 4 days.  OOOoo how I can't wait!  My goal is to be nice and fit by the time that rolls around so I have a lot of much needed work to do! 

I have one more day off to take before the year end.  I'm not sure when I am going to use it.  Maybe after they put up the Christmas tree in NYC.  We'll go there for a day or something.  I can't roll it over to next year I have to use it or cash it out.  So I might as well use it for a sanity day.  lol Next year I get 29 days, but that is sick time plus vacation days.  At least next week it is a short week and a very long weekend so there is a mini vacation hahaha. 

On a gym note.. Never made it to the gym last night.   I AM going tonight.  The BF is working so I'll be gyming it alone, but that's fine.  Go to gym, come home eat, do homework while watching TBL.  I got a good amount of homework to do and with this new class the teacher seems very strict on grading.. UGH. SO I have to make sure I point out all the correct stuff for each homework assignment. I really can't wait for this semester to be over.  The we get a 3 week break.  3 weeks with no school work sounds like a blessing in disguise for me hahaha. 

My mom emailed me a few moments ago.  She thinks one of her cats is on it's last legs.   Poor thing.  She said the cat has been not moving and breathing heavy.  Mom doesn't know if it has a cold or if the kitty is dying.  If the kitty is not better tomorrow she is taking her to the vet.  My mom has 4 cats.  and she always jokes around saying, "I can't wait till these cats die"  just because she's always cleaning up after them.  they are long haired, so every few days she has to vacuum again and so on.  But I can tell even though she jokes around about wishing for them to die that she's kind of upset about the whole issue.  =(

Besides that nothing new is up with me.  I'm kind of in a little funk.. I guess I have been for the last few days but I know (TOM) is coming as well.. so that can be the reason why. 

OK.. here's is my food for the day:
Yogurt
banana
tangerine
1 cup of chili
grapes
fruit bar

dinner - Fish
snack - cottage cheese.