Lillie Girl's Journey to Health Divinely Made and Created in His Likeness en All rights reserved Weight loss extrapounds v2 1440 Avatar 100 100 Divinely Made and Created in His Likeness Realistic Expectations <ul><li>I need to lose weight (any would be nice)</li><li>I need to exercise (walk, swim, whatever)</li><li>I need to eat healthier</li></ul>I am trying to get back to the basics of things. <br><br>Maybe losing weight would be more realistic when I finish some counseling for some emotionally draining issues.<br><br>What do you think?<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(1)</a> 443109 Saturday, November 1, 2008 23:03:22 Humbled <div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 468px; height: 216px;" src=""><br><br><div style="text-align: left;">It was so hard for me to desire to come back to EP because I knew I gained a lot of weight back. I feel humbled and hopeful in so many aspects. I hope to at least keep my weight tracked on EP. I would like to keep up a blog on here still, but maybe just post once a week at minimum. I hope to just keep chugging along. I am feeling good at the moment, and this moment I am choosing to look forward and not backwards. <br><br>On another note, I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I wish for each one of you a peace that overflows your soul and allows you a peace of mind. <br></div></div><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(0)</a> 440665 Friday, October 31, 2008 22:04:10 Transformation I just want to give God all the glory for my total weight in pounds and inches lost. What a transformation to see my body change! I can almost cross my legs like a woman. It feels great with higher mobility. I am watching what I am eating, getting help for the emotional stuff, and exercising throughout the week. I am trying to learn how to treat my body as a vessel given unto me by God. It definitely has been a struggle to get where I am at and continue to seek His grace and mercies. There has been days I have been so truly blessed with a desire to live and other moments where I feel so suicidal. I am making progress though in keeping those suicidal thoughts off my mind and living in this moment. I try and tell myself to live in this moment I have been given, and to enjoy my son and family for who and what they are to me. I feel so thankful my sister, parents, and nephew plus my medical support team has really shown me how they care and that I matter. Sometimes I feel like the invisible woman, but then there are other days where I am feel like one of the crowd and those feelings I am feeling are felt by most any ordinary person dealing with the temptations of sin and feeling all sorts of emotions. I try to wake up each day and pray. Give God thanksgiving for having kept me safe throughout the night, and then talk to Him about what, when, and where I need Him in my life. I so need God. I can't imagine living without Him. Can you believe this? I often times feel I would rather be beaten and tortured like Jesus was, than to make His death and resurrection a complete reality. And, then, there are moments when I am so thankful for not having to die the death He suffered because God loved me so much that He sent down a human sacrifice for all humanity. Well, I am going to get dressed and go to church with my son and family. I so want to see Jesus "high and lifted up."<br><br>In Christ's Love,<br>Lillie Girl<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(2)</a> 419446 Sunday, December 7, 2008 00:05:19 Working on Me Sorry, I hadn't been online as much to do personals, but I also have been working on me a whole lot to try to get emotionally stable and being able to move on with life. Today I weighed in and measured myself. I weigh 24.5lbs less than when I first weighed myself in January. I am 23.32" small all around. Praise be to God for the Holy Spirit working in my life. I am feel good. It's been an uphill battle, but with God at my side I can do anything I set forth to go do.<br><br>Till next time,<br>Lilly Girl<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(3)</a> 416363 Saturday, December 6, 2008 00:07:22 Happy Mother's Day <DIV style="MARGIN-TOP: 5px"> <DIV>Today started way later than I had planned. My family watched Sumo last night, so we didn't fall asleep until after four am. Late night, might I say. I went to an ice skating rink and had pizza at it. It was a nice time spent with my son and nephew plus my sister Michele. Emotionally, today was up and down. I couldn't help but think of how today was my Mom's first Mother's Day without her Mom alive. It was heartbreaking to hear her say, "I know my Mom is really dead." My grandmother passed away in February, and my Mom just came back a few weeks ago from Okinawa. Even though my grandmother was 114 years old, my Mom will always miss her. Wishing all my fellow EP Mothers a Happy Mother's Day.</DIV></DIV> <a href="">Comments(1)</a> 412528 Thursday, December 4, 2008 23:01:08 Taking Life As It Is <div style="margin-top: 5px;">There has been som bumpy roads I have had to deal with lately, but thankfully something of God stopped me over indulging sweets. I was afraid to weigh in for the fear of gaining lots of weight, but today I stepped out of fear and desired to see how much I weighed. I weighed in at 336.7 lbs. I am just a pound or so less than when I last weighed in but considering all the binge eating I had been doing and I feel glad to receive any mercies or grace from my Lord and Savior. Today I journaled what I ate, and I was on target for the calories I was hoping to get at...2200 calories. Overall, I know tonight I won't go to sleep angry and will apologize to my sister for getting into a verbal argument and not showing the love Jesus has showered upon me. I wish you all a wonderful weekend.<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(1)</a> 412302 Friday, December 5, 2008 00:09:12 Happy May Day <div style="text-align: center;"><img src="/thm/images/youtubevideo.png?url=4ctK4tswNEs"><br></div><br>I just wanted to wish you a wonderful May Day Celebration today. I always dreamed of dancing around a May Day Pole full of brightly colored ribbons with others. I guess maybe one year I might do this for myself and others because May is the month I was born. May Day Pole Dancing is absolutely dreamy. I guess I am kind of a dreamer of sorts. Have a wonderful beginning to your month of May.<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(1)</a> 411334 Friday, December 5, 2008 00:01:16 My First Response to My Call to My Friends on EP on Being Nice to Oneself Yesterday was the first day I did this intentionally for myself. <br><br>Something I did for myself to aid in relaxation and treating myself was to go to the library and check out some books and DVDs. I got <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Letters to My Daughters</span> by Maya Angelou on tape and in book format, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Lucky One</span> by Nicholas Sparks, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survival Kit</span> by Melodie Beattie, Home by Marilynne Robinson, and the two movies on DVDs were "21", "Proof" and "Becoming Jane." <br><br>Instead of slamming myself for some way I was feeling, I allowed myself to cry and be vulnerable, and then got news I was approved for additional services through insurance. I was talking to my primary care physician about having just left an abusive relationship, and he commended me on getting out of the relationship. He said that there is a long history of abuse with me from child sexual abuse to being domestically abused, and the road to recovery is going to be long and hard but I and my little son Tien-Tien are worth that road to wellness. It broke my heart to hear that. It honestly did. If this is what God requires of me, then I will gladly bear this cross and show others how God can transform pain, sorrow and heartache into tears of joy and happiness. <br><br>My Respects to All of You....<br>Lillie Girl<br><br>&nbsp;<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(1)</a> 411322 Friday, December 5, 2008 00:01:16 A Call to All My EP Friends: Being nice to yourself for a change <div style="margin-top: 5px;"><br> <div class="image-wrapper">&nbsp;&nbsp;<img src=";id=glNvwKomerLVI0CrnhjD0eVdzUy15zHe"> </div> <div class="content-wrapper"><p>Image was taken from: <br></p><p>The first exercise to improve self-esteem involves trying to treat yourself the way that you would a friend. </p> <ul><li>Every day in the next week spend 10 minutes doing something that you like to do. <p>This means indulging yourself, spending time alone, if you like doing that, with music, etc. <a>(Need ideas?)</a> Develop a list of potential events which you enjoy doing.</p></li></ul><p>(These can be: Riding bike, going for walk, listening to music, getting fit at the gym, rearranging your room, paying your bills (you have put it off…do it), answering your emails, gardening, drinking (but not too much), cinema, surfing, climbing mountains, reading novels, watching sport, getting out and about)</p><ul><li>Spend 5 minutes everyday being as nice to yourself as you would to a friend who has problems with their self-esteem. <p>For example, if you react badly to a situation, don’t say to yourself "you worthless worm", say "it’s pretty normal to react that way, you are being hard on yourself. I think you handled the situation as best you could", etc.</p> </li></ul></div><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(3)</a> 411170 Wednesday, December 3, 2008 21:00:10 The Ups and Downs of My Day Today was something else. I woke up crying because I had a family issue bothering me, and then when I looked at my son I was just overcome by emotions thinking how much he looks like his Daddy. I talked with my parents immediately after, and all the emotions I was feeling was based out of fear. I settled down and decided to live in the moment I was living. That was kind of hard for me because it was letting go of some feeling that I thought was justifiable to have; however, if I allowed it to rule over my moments I was living, I was going to ignore the moments I have had today. So, I took a shower, got my son up and cleaned, ate breakfast, went to play outside with my son, cleaned up our bed, and then got on with the rest of the day. It was hard to get started but it wasn't something I couldn't do in the name of Jesus. I wasn't going to let some evil force or power rule over my day. No way! No how! I had to take a nap mid-day because of being emotionally overwhelmed from the morning time and the heat of the day. Say, the least, I took a good nap. When I woke up, we got ready for Wednesday night church services, and then went to church for Bible study. I enjoyed the Bible study lesson tonight because it was in Zechariah. The study was on the Millennial rule when Christ is coming back, and how Zechariah prophesied when Christ will come back and how Christ also spoke about the Millennial rule with his 12 apostles. We conversed about how Jewish people are the Chosen people, but it is up to them to actually realize Christ is Christ and worship Him for who He is. We also went to grocery store to buy milk, cheese, cereal and some stuff for tomorrow's supper times. <br><br>Here is what I enjoyed about today:<br><ul><li>being with my son</li><li>living in the moment the best way I could</li><li>going to Bible study to study about when Christ will come again</li><li>the conversations with my parents and sister Michele</li><li>the knock knock jokes my son and nephew told</li><li>fellowship with my sisters and brothers in Christ</li><li>shopping at the grocery store</li><li>realizing I don't have to go to church to pray to God, but church is a place I can definitely go and expect Christ's Holy Spirit to be there</li><li>finally getting an answer to a prayer request <br></li></ul>Overall, I have had a good day. I also wanted to say I lost over 22.63" all around. Woot Woot. Praise God for filling those broken places in my heart and soul, and filling it with a peace, sense of comfort, endles amounts of mercies and tenderness! <br><br>My goal for the rest of the week is to get in more walking each day, go swimming at least one or two more days this week/weekend, and then take time out of my day to take care of myself. I wish each one of you a restful night of sleep and an everlasting amount of love to bring you into an eternity with Christ.<br><br>Lillie Girl<br><div style="margin-top: 5px;"><div></div></div> <a href="">Comments(1)</a> 411149 Wednesday, December 3, 2008 21:00:08