I just want to give God all the glory for my total weight in pounds and inches lost. What a transformation to see my body change! I can almost cross my legs like a woman. It feels great with higher mobility. I am watching what I am eating, getting help for the emotional stuff, and exercising throughout the week. I am trying to learn how to treat my body as a vessel given unto me by God. It definitely has been a struggle to get where I am at and continue to seek His grace and mercies. There has been days I have been so truly blessed with a desire to live and other moments where I feel so suicidal. I am making progress though in keeping those suicidal thoughts off my mind and living in this moment. I try and tell myself to live in this moment I have been given, and to enjoy my son and family for who and what they are to me. I feel so thankful my sister, parents, and nephew plus my medical support team has really shown me how they care and that I matter. Sometimes I feel like the invisible woman, but then there are other days where I am feel like one of the crowd and those feelings I am feeling are felt by most any ordinary person dealing with the temptations of sin and feeling all sorts of emotions. I try to wake up each day and pray. Give God thanksgiving for having kept me safe throughout the night, and then talk to Him about what, when, and where I need Him in my life. I so need God. I can't imagine living without Him. Can you believe this? I often times feel I would rather be beaten and tortured like Jesus was, than to make His death and resurrection a complete reality. And, then, there are moments when I am so thankful for not having to die the death He suffered because God loved me so much that He sent down a human sacrifice for all humanity. Well, I am going to get dressed and go to church with my son and family. I so want to see Jesus "high and lifted up."
In Christ's Love,