It seems like I have so much reading. I am reading now. Seems like that everyone has had a very eventful 3 or 4 months. Some good and some bad. I guess it isn't a perfect life huh???? ......
I had go to out to dinner on Saturday. It was sooooo cold and I really didn't want to wear sweats, lounger pants etc... I had not even looked at my jeans .... I still wear huge shirts etc. My goal was not to wear anything else but sweats until I lost my weight...... I decided to look in my closet and started looking my jeans hanger by hanger. I knew not to even try them. Looked at the tags and discarded, discarded, discarded etc..... I had bought a pair this last Christmas and tryed them. WHOOPEE!!!!!! I could put me and jellibean both in them. I found a pair that looked may fit me...Maybe. I kept looking and looking... Do I do this.....Disappoint?? Cry??? The last time I tried these jeans was when I started getting fat. I'LL BE DAMNED!!!! They fit. I didn't even have to suck in. I even put on a sweater that didn't cover my AS!S!!
I decided to reward myself. I put on my make-up. Yes makeup!!!!! I was ready to ROCK! My husband says, WOW, you have a ass. Just one. The asswipe!!! Dianna and Phil noticed right away......
I can't be;ieve that my journey is paying off. I started in October even before I started with ExtraPounds. I have lost 52lbs at date. WOAH!!!!!!! Way to Weigh for me.
I still have 15 pounds. I am finally under what I weighed at my highest when I was pregnant with Garet. I am so in this losing weight thingy. I can't even wear my bra's. YEAH!! I hated big Boobs. I liked my 34C's....I was in a 40D. Still need to lose a little of them....
Well, guess I had better go. My Jellibean is coming in the door. Gotta go color and play with play dough.
I know you are probably not reading this. It has been sooo long since I have blogged. I can give excuse's but they are just like assholes. Everyone has one.....lol
It's been so long since I blogged. I started reading some blogs off and since last week. Before then, it was sporadically....
Everyone knows about jellibean, right. They left in April. In the middle of May I went to Las Vegas and got her to stay with me until the 10th of August. We had soooo much fun. THE BEST THING was that I took a litle side trip to Salt City, Utah......I visited with Shar (Abwanter). It was lovely and she is such a wonderful woman. I don't know what I would do if I didn'y have her in my life. She is my Angel. My rock most times. (I didn't have a title and just went back and changed) .... There is a very very good reason why I call her "My Angel". Compassionate, nurturing, love, and most of all she keeps me IN LINE!!!!!!
After Jellibean left in August, I WAS NO GOOD .. I cried day in and day out. It was so bad. I had never felt like this before. It felt like someone ripped out my heart by bit by bit. The hurt was indescribbbbiblically (how about that SwimKatt) ... I wouldn't go out, just cry. etc....I couldn't do anything cause I would cry everytime, I would think..... Jelli and I would etc... you know what I an saying. After 3 weeks, my daughter, Phil, and Jelli decided to come home and live back here. THEY Said I have done so much for them that the least they could do is be happy. FUC*... You know what I mean. I couldn't go outside. My face was so swollen it looked like i had had an allergic reaction. After 3 weeks, my doctor was on my ass. BAD...He's such an asswipe. My new word..... YAda Yada Yada....
As I was saying.....Shar. If it wasn't for her, I would have drowned. Man, that woman has a HUGE whip!!!!!! It was sooooo long. (from Salt Lake to here to North Dakota). Honestly. Her heart is huge. She took alot of my hurt and put it on herself. She is so unbelieveable. I know that it seems really ????? (word) that we met on this site. We are so similiar with so many things. Our health is a real biggy... It will also be an issue with us. That is one thing that will never go away like the pounds. But now, we are dealing with that together. Just because we are gonna be sick (different) we know how it is to be sick all the time.
Ok.... I'm done. I didn't mean to ramble. She's a very beautiful woman .... inside and out. I have been so very blessed. I don't know what I did right, that someone showed me to her. I love you , My Angel!!!!!
Sorry, I just wanted to let her know. ...... Jellibean is with me now. My doctor is happy and my husband. Well, what I can say...... He's an ASSWIPE!!!!!!
As you can see, I am doing ok with my weight. No big deal. I have given my self until the end of the year to get to down to 112. We'll see.
I have been reading alot of blogs and will be blogging back. I am so sorry it took so long.
Sorry about this title. About the middle of March (when I was staying at Jellybeans for the week) and a person blogged here and told me she was living in Minot ND. I wrote her name and of course lost it. I can't even find the blog I wrote. So, if anyone knows her, please let me know.
I hope everyone is doing okay. I am still cleaning alot. The sad thing is that Val is here (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from early morning till 12pm - 100pm) and she does all this stuff. I mean clean etc......I am majoring redoing (new word) some rooms. It keeps me busy and not miss Jelly so much. It doesn't help though.
I can hear FatnSassy. You you will be jumping on this. I am always lecturing you about do this. And Life's test. Well. guess what guys....You are just "Shit out of Luck". I am sooooo done with all this.
I am starting over. I am going to behave with my diet, weight etc.....I just lucked out with the weight. I weigh the same. It should of been at least more 10 pounds. As I say, I am very lucky. Starting over TODAY!!!!!! Its been enough. Jelly is not dead! Just gone. I am going to visit in Vegas in about 2 months if not earilier.
I am going to read some blogs and blog yours. Hope you have a wonderful day. Luvs...lilypad
Just to let you know I am doing better. I've been trying to keep busy so I don't brood to much. Everytime I want to get the computer Garet has been on playing his new game. I finally decided to clean and update the downstairs where the other computer is.
There is a family room and garets bedroom and bath. It looks Damn good! I mean Damn good!!!! In the family room is huge....Half the room is carpeted and the other has the computer, stero, another TV, exercise equipment, game space(little) darts, table with chairs etc.....I decided a litlle refrigerator etc.....There is a nice sink and counter and cubboard. Wait until Asshole gets the bill!!! lol...Hell, I did alot with Val, Sarah, and Garet. Guess he should of been paying attention huh??? Snooze and Lose.
Dianna, Phil, and My Jellybean got in Vegas with no problems. I have talked with her twice now. The first thing she says is "My Gamma" and "Louvvvves You". I still miss her so. We had a lot of pictures and they are croping etc....today....Sarah and I (sarah thought it) had a wonderful surprise for everyone. Craig gets one with 4 pictures for his office. Five in one (frame) in the kitchen a 10 in one for computer room and we got a 3 in 1 for garet and Kenny (one of my boys that is best friend of Garet) from where we took the train to Fargo and see a concert. We couldn't leave garet out.
I'm sorry that I didn't blog when I said I was. I will get it together. I promise. Things are settling down with me a little. I can talk about Jelly and/or look at her picture without bawling. I guess I'm not going to die huh???
I a group of my "boys" and "girls" just came in to give me a hug and kiss. They are all going to the movies. Scary Movie4 I think. And of course money. Go figure!!!! lol
I am going dye Garet and Kenny's hair in this week sometime. Maybe blue? purple...I haven't decided what colors yet!!!! I will get a picture for ya'll. Garet know how to put them on here now. I can't wait.
Guess I had better go and get some supper. I need to make Abwanter come wash my dishes. and cook too. She LOVES that shit. lilypad
"My Jellybean" will be happy to know that I have so many friends that are taking care of me. I told my daughter about this and she told me to tell ya'll to "KICK MY ASS!!!!" To make sure I don't fall.
Thank you for the support and the words. I love you guys!!! As I said yesterday, I don't know what I expected (feeling Jelly). It knocked me to a loop. I was on the ground. I guess I wanted a cowboy pick up me. Hmmmm, that's an idea!! lol ... I know a whole lot of people, family, friends etc...that leave etc.....WOW.. I would rather have another stroke.
It is still soooo bad. At least I can type her name. I still can't look at her picture. I won't let myself think of her. I know, I will. Just not yet.
Garet has been my "savior". He is so wise. He is my rock.
I hope that I can read all your blogs etc....By tomorrow I hope to be caught up. Again, thanks....luv lilypad
It has been a very hard trying week. I want to let you know guys that I appreciate all the support. I cried as I was crying. It made me feel so loved.
I can not believe that it was sooooo devasting (?). I knew it was going to bad, but WHOA, I was holding on and I was bucked off. I am trying to wipe off from my butt still. ( Thats' cute huh? ) lol I think that Fucking Horse kicked my heart so hard, I didn't want to get up. This is so hard.
I don't know if I told you guys that after I had the heart valve surgery, stroke, etc.... yada yada....I lived in my bed, no calls, no company etc......drugged (legal, thank you :-))......Then when my daughter Dianna had "My Jellybean", she became the reason to get up and decide to live. Guys I have to go. I can't write anymore. I am crying so hard I can't blog. I will blog later. I swear I am dying. I can't write about this...I am sorry guys.....
I thought that I would be able to blog continue and watch jellybean!!! NOT!!!!!
They will be leaving sometime this evening..... I am soooooo sad! I feel like someone just pulled my heart out of my chest!....My heart didn't like felt this after I had the open heart surgery. :-((((((
I may not blog until Tuesday. I am going to get myself together!! I really miss you guys.
Hey guys..... I am so sorry. I had to work out things with me. I and to think and make some decisions before I could go on with this. I missed all ya'll so much. I did read alot of your blogs even though I didn't blog. I will tell ya what has happened. No know that saying......When it rains, its pouring at my house!!!! :-)))) I am going to give ya overview or you would go to sleep. (it WAS long).
Here it goes...My left arm/hand is numb and the doctors had to find out what it was. There were 3 things it could be...I have thorastic (something???) syndrome. Anyway, my nerve and/artery by my collar bone. I am going to have surgery under my arm and take out the first rib there....I have decided to do a little physical therapy first. Every since the heart surgery, I have had alot of problems with other surgeries. Etc... I don't have a choice so I am just trying to buy time. I have to check it every 6 weeks and just maybe won't get worse for a 3 to 4 months. Cause then it will atrophy. (die the arm). If I don't fix it..
"My Jellybean" is going away.... :-(((((( ... I am going to miss that baby sooooo much. I don't have the words to express how I feel. She was the one who made me live in the beginning. They are going to move to Las Vegas!!! Fuckers!!!! I know, I know, she isn't mine. I have had her from the beginning. I'll be okay though. It just hurts. I will bolg ya'll so much that you will get tired of me. I will go see her about every 2 to 3 months!!! I keep thinking about that....
My head started feeling wierd this last weekend. I was gonna blog but I couldn't. It was so hard that when I couldn't make the words type. I couldn't make sense or remember words. I knew exactly what it was. I didn't bother to go to the doctor until today. I knew that they would just up my blood thinners. I had another mini stroke. I have had a few but this one was a little more. It took me a little more time to recover. It is still hard to type and/or thing. Lots of mistakes but I have on correcting on the computer. I am about to take it off. The damn thing is going off every few words. Fucker!!!!
Speaking of computer. I crashed the computer twice!!! Way to go to ME!!! It is a new computer now. I am trying to get stuff reloaded. lol It really is funny!!!! I don't think my son and the "asshole" think it is funny. Fuck them too!!!!! I have got to stop saying that word!!!!!
I am done....DON'T Feel sorry okay. Thats one thing I HATE, HATE, HATE, for anyone pity me or make me feel ??? Don't know a word????? ...... I am okay!!! Just alittle more brain dead. There wasn't alot to begin with!!!! lol !!!!!! At least I don't have to cook for awhile!!! WOOHOO!!! Ya know how I feel about cooking!!! YIPEEEEE!!!!
I hope everyone is settling with their animals from Jellybean. You will have to let me know. I know Jen and her sister don't like the teletubbies. Promblem's huh???? Mustblite, have you "had" Steve yet??? Is he good???
I will let ya go now....I am going to start on ya blogs......Luvs you..... lilypad
Hi Guys......................I hope ya'll are doing okay....I just read abwanters blog!! I am going to her house and whip her. I told her that just because she omitted a few things she was a bad person. She is a very remarkable. Her conious was beggining to bug her. Now she knows what to do.....
I am going to bet her!!!!! I am going to throw my FRUIT LOOPS!!! I know that I need to trash them because of the SUGAR!!!! And bond to Richard. These are mine.
So, everyone please post my blog and let me see what YOU are going to trash!!!!!!!Lets go, lets go, lets go!!!
I am gonna go and read a few blogs.....I hope everyone had a good day..................lilypad
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