Playing mind games that keep the weight on.. sigh... self sabotage!

I took yesterday off from exercise, which was okay as I'd done well all week.

But then I started misbehaving with my eating. I had double portions last night, and tonight, too. I have to get myself back on track immediately!

I've begun playing mental games with myself lately. I always seem to play games as the weight starts to come off.. not intentionally. As I start to lose weight, it's like I slip into some sort of quasi-reality where unrealistic thoughts, and images, sneak up on me and make me question my realitites.

The thoughts are senseless, inaccurate and not based in reality but I tend to pause to entertain them. An example? I was lying on the sofa enjoying the fact that my thighs are getting more toned and thinner since I started to lose. Then I questioned if I have 60 lbs. to lose (what an absurd thought! of course I do!). I pondered if I'd be too thin from such a loss. It's like my image of myself is completely skewed when these thoughts jump into my brain. They are NOT based in reality at all!

 I KNOW *intellectually* that I have it to lose (and more!) because it's what I gained over the past 9 yrs. I also know how fat I look in recent photos, especially compared to those taken 10 yrs. ago, I know the scale isn't lying and I know the mirror tells the truth about my size (the double chins give it away!).  I know it's not a figment of my imagination that I was starting to shop for size 22 pants before I decided to get serious with myself and start losing the weight. These ARE my realities.

I'm pleased that I'm losing weight, fitting in smaller sizes, eating better and exercising more, which leads to better overall health and wellbeing. And know I should keep doing what I'm doing, so I can get my body back and KEEP it. 

Yet, I have these weird mind games that I start playing. I start getting 'nervous' or something (it's hard to explain!) about the weight coming off and my becoming more visible to people. And somehow question if I can afford to lose a lot of weight - ridiculous! I think my mind plays these games so that I don't have to deal with things I used to deal with when I was thinner, sexier...more visible.   I dunno.. maybe I'm a whack job!

Anyhoo.. I took a 60 minute walk today and had another fully vegan-ish day.

I just need to get out of my own way - mentally - and I can do this!

Do you get in your way mentally, too? Self-sabotage?