My good start has succeeded in becoming a good week.

I've been rather busy, making my method of 5-6 small meals a day a bit hard to follow. Especially because I've been staying over at friends houses a lot. I can't go into the kitchen, get my cup of coffee and my Kashi every morning. Or take my walks.

 

Also, my guy friends like to feed me all the time. And my protests about being healthy and dieting are to no avail. They thinks it's silly. I know they think girls should just be comfortable with themselves, but I do think I am. I just want to have a healthy body type.

 

Above average BMI is fine with me, but I'm in the low end of obesity. You can't really see it on me because I have a strange body and my 220 lbs manages to look reasonable on me. Either way, it's not healthy. I don't care what my guy friends say about my body now, I know they'll like me either way.

 

The sad thing about my strange body is that, while it hides the fat well it also hides the fat loss well. I can only really notice that I'm losing weight by how far I can suck my belly in. It know it doesn't sound scientific or anything, but it's just what I know about my body.

 

Yeah so, on a personal note...I'm having a quite a few guy problems. Who would've thought men could make me so crazy? It's a bit complicated to get into, but I will say that I'm completely enamored with a boy right now, however his current predicament is....less than reputable. He's facing jail for the fact that he can't pay the 100$ ankle monitor bill. I haven't any money saved because I'm still looking for a decent job. Every penny I had has wasted away for smokes and silly stuff like that. So he may be going away for a long while. I suppose we can always give it a shot when he gets out.

 

Ahem, speaking of smokes I think after I've lost a bit more weight and am doing longer excercises that I will quit. I say this all the time, but this time I'm a lot more serious about it. Smokes will hold me back and I know it. Even if I crave food when I don't have them I also become out of breath far too easily.

 

Yes I suppose you're wondering why this boy is on an ankle monitor and I know this sounds completely cliche but it really wasn't his fault. His best friend did a bunch of ridiculous things and...well I won't sing the not guilty song to you guys but I just wanted you to know he's not a rapist or anything like that.

 

Either way, I'm a bit tired so I'm going to peruse the site a bit. I haven't seen all it's features yet.

Alright,

 

this will by no means be one of those amazing introductory first posts that tells you everything you need to know. Lol, but I'll try to include a bit of information.

 

My name is ReBecca, I'm eighteen and I've been overweight(by some extent) my entire life. I've never been at the weight I'd like, which is 140-150 lbs. I was very close once, but I was young and not super serious about really getting there.

 

I'm smart, and I can figure out what's really healthy and what's a sham. I know what I have to do to lose weight, it's just finding that willpower and motivation.

 

I'm not here to lose ninety pounds so that guys will want me, or so that I'll be skinny like my friends. I'm here because I want to be more comfortable in my own skin, and because I know that I deserve more than a lifestyle made up of long nights on my couch with obscene amounts of food.

 

I love music, I love reading, I love learning and I there's a lot of things I have planned to do in life.

 

I can't honestly attempt to describe my personality realistically to you. You'll have to sort of figure it out as I leave posts. I know anyone who reads this is looking to see my success or to tell me about their success, but I'd like to make some friends who I really get to know beyond their weight loss attempts/successes.

 

So that's that. I suppose in relation to my actual weight loss I've done quite well today.

 

The first day of the rest of my life.

 

I woke up at four in the morning, not something I do daily, and I decided to eat my vitamins, drink my metamucil and take a walk around the block five times over. At some point during my walk I decided three times would be sufficient, however on my second time around I knew I could do more and if I didn't I would be pissed off at myself all day.

 

Before I left I loaded up on FlaxPlus(an amazing cereal, mmm) and charged my ipod touch so that I wouldn't get bored.

 

I also brought along some water, which is sort of what seals the deal for me when I'm working out. If I don't bring water it becomes an excuse to go back in the house and then once I'm inside...well it's all over from there.

 

Anyways. It took me roughly thirty minutes, give or take. I'm pretty pleased with myself, even though walking the block five times isn't the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm a 220 pound girl who virtually never decides to do anything too strenuous.

 

Yeah, so that's about all I've done today, except make this blog. I've got a few other blogs, but sadly Xanga is overrun with pro-ana and mia girls. For those of you who don't know that's pro-anorexic and bulimic. They encourage eachother to stop eating...etc.

 

So hopefully this blog has better results as far as support and that.

 

I'll probably post once again tonight.