I grew up a vicar's daughter and though I had my rebellious moments I quickly learnt to put everyone else ahead of myself. As I have gown older, married and had children the list of people has grown exponentially.  The list starts with God and translates into all the church activities, and missions; My Husband who never knows when he is going to be home but wants dinner ready when his is; my sons who have school, sports and social activities and constantly complain that there is no food in the house -( it's normally their eyesight that's at fault). Then there is the others my best friend whose skinny frame is always starving and needs to have lunch out; my sister-in who is mentally challenged and needs help around the home - she only lives two hours away; etc. etc.

It's not that I really disagree with the priorities, my faith is very important to me, followed closely by my family and friends but I am important too and I can only help others if I take care of myself. I want to be around to enjoy my husbands retirement and our plans to travel. I want to live to see my grandchildren and have enough energy to keep up with them. These are things that my family want for me too. By making my health a priority I am better able to help when it is really needed.

So today I planned to put myself first. I got up and headed for the treadmill not worrying if the boys would oversleep, (well not too much). Their alarms went off and they got up just fine, I've got to stop taking on their responsibilities or feeling guilty for their problems. This afternoon I headed for the shopping mall and treated myself to a manicure. So much better then pushing a shopping cart around the grocery store and thinking that I am treating myself when I add a chocolate bar to the cart and scoff it down while driving home. CHOCOLATE is not a treat it is a CRUTCH.

So now I feel good, I might even suggest to my husband that we go to bed early!!!

Inner voices sabotage my goals, they come in many different forms but always with a grain or two of truth.

Today I woke up with a headache and so decided not to walk on the treadmill- I just got my son off to school, had a coffee and went back to bed. Not a good start to the day but it didn't get any better! An hour later headache gone and treadmill forgotten, I went to Costco just for a couple of things! What a mistake, not only was the place a mess but the couple of items grew to a whole cart load including my favorite cheeses, cheddar and brie, and fresh baked bread! Oh and of course I enjoyed all those free samples they were handing out - less then 100 calories a time!

Inner voices were saying you are in for the long haul, so if you deny yourself everything that you want or you won't be able to sustain it. A grain of truth that had me fully convinced by lunch which found me sitting down in front of the TV with thick slices of bread, and chunks of cheese. A few slices of tomato added the healthy side of the meal.

Well it has got a bit better since then! Feeling really guilty I hit the treadmill and even upped the speed to jogging, gave myself a long hard talking too and sat down to write this.

Not all is lost recognizing the voices for what they are - TEMPTATION - is of value and hopefully by naming them I will be better equipped for battle in future.

I win for dinner - and nice healthy salad - no guilt and one more day on the journey to health.