| Height: | |
| Start weight: | 104.00kg |
| Current weight: | 104.80kg |
| Goal weight: | 69.00kg |
| Lost to date: | -0.80kg |
| Remaining: | 35.80kg |
| 9 |
| January '09 |
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I am really really battling. I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate my weak, insipid, people pleasing nature, I hate my fatness.
I'm aware everyday that I need to change, but I let everyday pass by with no change, no effort, no motivation to get up and do anything. I have to change this! I have to change this!! I have to change this
Well...... I faced the scale this morning ........and lost 1.6kgs and 5cm's :)
I'm not sure how that happened as I have really struggled this last week, but maybe the scale realised that if it went up I was about to jump off the nearest building!!
This little step of progress has made my mood so much lighter and I'm definitely going to make so much more of an effort this week.
Good luck to you all :) will post again tomorrow x x x
That's my favourite saying. It's a chinese proverb. And for me it means so much.
I've wiped my slate clean (a lot more times than 7) this morning, I'm on track today and I'll be weighing in on Wednesday morning. Right now I'm just focusing on getting from here to Wednesday at 7am.
I need to get to a point in my life where I no longer hear my ex-husband's criticism, telling me how out of proportion I look (I was 20 kg's lighter then), telling me how I embarress him by eating all the food on my plate whenever we used to go out, refusing to allow me to go out with him and his friends because I look different and not like they do. on an intellectual level I know that I should let go of his judgement in my life, but why is it so much harder to let go on an emotional level?
Anway, today to Wed, today to Wed, today to Wed, today to Wed is my focus :)
- thanks for prompting me to post again :) I needed that (hugs)
Thank you so much for the kind comments and support :) I am quite overwhelmed at how much having some feedback and encouragement from people going through the same trials has touched me.
I guess I am not alone .......
What an amazing feeling........
Unfortunately today has been a mess, I was awake until 2am this morning, my mind spinning with feelings of self doubt and hatred for being so weak. (Sorry, I know it sounds so dramatic, but it's real for me)
I'm planning on taking a deep breath in and spending a quiet weekend slowly trying to gather up my strength to face next week.
I can do this and I know I will get there - thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement, they are so much appreciated.
Have a good weekend everyone, I'll post on Monday again, I'm weighing in at Sure Slim on Wednesday morning so I'm hoping that a calm weekend and good start to the week will make a difference on that scale.
Take care x x x
What a mess! Yesterday I was fully of inspiration, today I just couldn't take that step to commit myself. I just don't understand my behaviour sometimes?? I am so desperately unhappy with my weight but can't get over the mental battle to actually commit to doing something about it. The thought of sacrificing my normal cup of milky tea with half a sugar and replacing it with plain rooibos tea just sent me flying into panic and spiralling downwards this morning. So so unexplainable.......from there, bad breakfast, biscuits, toasted sandwich, etc.
I'm going to try and wipe today's failure from my mind and see what tomorrow holds.
Lots of wishes of strength and perserverance to everyone else today :)
Today is a day like any other for most people. For me, it's the start of what I hope will be a brighter life with a lot less stressing about my current weight and lack of self care and love. I'm feeling sick with nerves as I've tried so many other diets and failed miserably time and time and time again. I have reached a point though where I know there must be more to life than this and where I want to particpate more in my own life, so I'm committing myself to giving this an honest try until the end of this year. I'll be following the Sure Slim plan. I've received all the info I need from the clinic and will be weighing in every Wednesday. My weight this morning was scary and is the highest I have ever been. 104kgs.
Last time ever that I want to see that number on my scale.
Wish me luck 
