GUESS WHAT?
Yes, you guessed it. I am really putting my heart into my health. If you notice the weight chart, you will see that I have actually lost a good chunk of lard recently.
I realize that I am still heavier than when I started this blog a year ago - WOW, it really has been that long - but that is okay, because I am looking to the future and trying not to live in the past.
My brother in California flew me down for a visit last month and while I had a fabulous time, I was very conscious of my size - especially in the airplane when I had a lady sitting right next to me and I tried to squish into myself the entire flight so I wouldn't crowd her too much and I still filled the seat to overflowing and then I was barely able to click the seatbelt. I was so terrified of having to ask the attendant for an extension.
Then, we were sitting on the beach which happened to be right next to a nude beach. There were all these people just soaking up the sun and waves and totally comfortable in their lack of clothing. Not that I will EVER feel comfortable myself in that particular situation, but I would like to feel like I had a choice in the matter. At this point, the fat prevents me from jumping in to that arena. I would like to choose not to participate because I just don't want to as opposed to because I am too fat.
Then just yesterday my brother in Manhattan called to invite me out for a summer party he is hosting and I wanted to throw up because A. I was really excited to go B. I didn't know if I could fit into the airplane seats (reference above paragraph) C. I was embarrassed to have my brother want to introduce me to all of his friends (who of course, are all into running, fashion, etc - I probably weigh as much as three of them put together) when I look like Shamu.
Fortunately? The flights we were looking at couldn't get me back until Tuesday which would be more vacation time than I could expend. I know, cop out - I probably could have pushed for it, but it still inspired me to knock it off with my poor eating and activity habits and get back in the ring.
I will be ready next time he calls to just drop everything and go party feeling confident in my smaller, stronger body. Look out New York, here I come!
Okay guys, enough rambling for now. I will check in later,
Big Encouraging Hug,
Moonflower