interesting....
mother f'er...I just pushed a button on my keyboard and erased the blog I was working on. RRRR. Oh well.
Anyway, I was writing about how this week hasn't gone quite as planned but that I am okay with it. There are ups and down to this journey as with all journies I guess. I realize I have to be better at planning ahead because I have been so busy and things are only going to get more busy in the coming months once play rehearsals start.
One of the only exercise sessions I completed this week was an impromptu beach run with a co-worker friend of mine who has lost 70 pounds in the last year. He looks great. We talked about the importance of visualizing your goals. I realize that I haven't been doing a good job of that and even though I went through some old photo albums, don't have any pictures of me at a weight I was really happy at so I have been having a hard time visualizing myself at goal weight. There are so many images pumped in my head of media figures who don't have bodies like mine at all. It makes me scamble for images of women who have similar builds. The only person who sort of comes to mind for me is Christina Milian although I could be way off. I know that I will never be "super skinny" like Keira Knightly or Audrey Tatou but I could get ripped Janet Jackson style perhaps. Regardless, I really need to work on having a mental picture in my head that I can work towards. Although my waist and hip measurements are small, pictures I see of myself still look big. Maybe it's all in the photo angles but shit, cameras don't lie right? Or perhaps this living in LA thing has really screwed with my head too much. Who knows. I am sorting it all out these days.
Between lack of sleep, a ton of work and general imbalance I have exhausted myself and even though I told a friend to call me after his music gig tonight ( a potential booty call that I know probably isn't in my best interest anyway) I have turned off my phone and after this blog is done I plan on turning in and getting up early tomorrow.
In better news, I got a nice compliment today from another co-worker that brightened up my dark cloud of low-self esteem this week. He asked me if I was married. When I said no, he asked if I had a boyfriend. After my answer of, "well no but it's kind of stupid and complicated" I asked him why he wanted to know. "You just seem like the type of girl that would be a perfect girlfriend" he said. "It's a surprise to me that someone hasn't snatched you up for good". That was sweet and will be filed away for future reference. ;)
I guess there is always a silver lining, eh?
Good night,
Juni