I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale at WW this afternoon and it said 120.2. Yes, it is 10 pounds more than I used to be and 5 pounds more than the last time I officially weighed in. I am happy because I ate so much food that I was sure I would be around 128-130 or so. That was my guess and I did not feel that it was unrealistic because my clothes are now tight on me rather than loose.
Anyhow, I have 10 pounds to lose and am excited to get working on this! My new meeting was very very small which I am not used to, but it's fine with me. The leader is really nice and I was especially happy with the fact that he tells us that he has struggles, too. My last leader didn't talk about her own struggles much, at least not in the way this guy did. He was more than happy to admit that he is an emotional eater and the types of things he has eaten, including full pints of Ben and Jerry's frozen yogurt. It made me feel like I could relate.
Hope everyone is having a good week. I have an interview for a resource teaching job tomorrow afternoon so wish me luck!
Time to get real. I spent over a whole week eating crap, crap and more crap. My conclusion in the end is that it wasn't just stress but it had to be something else. I was going out of my way to eat fast food every day. I reverted to the old Leanne who was nearly 190 pounds, eating pizza and french fries and ice cream. Once last week I ate so much I literally burst. My stomach couldn't hold all the food I had shoved into it. Exercise? Nonexistent.
It was deprivation. Not calorie-deprivation, just not feeling like I was ever going to be "allowed" to eat junk food and all the yummy stuff. Sometimes it seems like it's all or nothing. What a silly thing to think. I know the real truth is that we can eat our favorite foods as long as it's in moderation.
I haven't been to Weight Watchers in over a month so I haven't been holding myself accountable for anything. I stopped stepping on the scale altogether. I have arranged to go to a Weight Watchers meeting on Thursdays that is 10 minutes away. My normal meetings are an hour away (near where I work) so it's like the last place I ever want to go because it means I have to stay late at work and get home hours later. Now it will be way more convenient and I will go every single week. The home scale is going to continue to be stored away unused.
It's not really going back to Square 1 but more like Square 2 because I have the healthy eating habits within me and the experience I need to keep moving forward. I don't plan to start back up with exercise for a while until I can get the eating under control. This week the focus is listening to my stomach and only eating when I am hungry. No more snacking all day long. It will just be eating small meals when hungry and a couple snacks in between. It seems like the right thing to do. Ocasionally a yummy treat in moderation is also part of the plan.
Hello! How is the EP world doing? Life is ok here. I can't wait for school to get out but we still have another month left. The kids are great but I am having problems with the staff.
I am getting tidbits of information indirectly through passive-aggressive means where no one is actually telling me what the deal is but are making passing comments and it's just plain immature. It's downright junior-high-level. Maybe it's because we work in a junior high school.
There is this clique of special education paras and teachers that get together often, like every day, and chat as friends. I had always hoped I wouldn't end up being the topic of conversation for any reason but it's sounding more and more like my own para has a problem and she won't even tell me what it is. How am I supposed to operate my classroom if my own para can't tell me that she needs something from me? Instead she goes and tells the "Old Ninnies Breakfast Club"? It's frustrating to say the least.
It has left me so stressed out that I have been self-destructive with food so far this week. Hopefully I will get out of this slump soon and get back to it but for now I am just trying to go home and relax. If relaxing means drinking a Mike-arita, eating Mac and Cheese and reading a book on the couch, so be it.
On the good side of things, Idol is on tonight! I can't wait to find out who wins tomorrow.
I'm glad it's Friday. I'm moody as hell, though. It's that stupid scale. It needs to be thrown away or pulled out no more than once a week. I just want to throw it across the bathroom in the mornings. Yesterday I was happy to see 112.4 instead of 114.5, but this morning it said 116.0. TOM is just getting over with so I know it's not that. I'm drinking all my water, exercising and being a perfect angel with food. That is why I am so frusterated. My body used to be predictable and now I feel like I have no control whatsoever. Maybe being 110 pounds is no longer obtainable for my age...
For the next week my goal is to stop getting on the scale every morning and reduce it to once a week. It is affecting my mood way too much.
My 25th birthday is tomorrow and for some reason I am really not excited about it. Birthdays used to be so much fun. We don't get to celebrate tomorrow because my friend is getting married in the afternoon. My family will celebrate on Sunday at Jimmy Mac's Roadhouse so there's more yummy food to break me apart. I definitely don't want to celebrate my birthday with fruits and veggies.
Sorry for the venting! I really do hope that all of you have a good weekend!
I tried this sample at Starbuck's this morning. It's raspberry swirl bread. It was heavenly. So heavenly that I will never eat it again because I can't imagine what the nutrition facts could be. It has this white frosting on top and wow it's so good...
Today was an incredibly stressful day. You'd be surprised how much energy ONE kid can take out of you. Out of every teacher who comes in contact with him, which is scary. Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.
On the way home it took me an extra 20-30 minutes because of a bad traffic jam so by the time I made it home I was so stressed out that I decided not to exercise. I will get it done over the next 3 days, especially because I want to rack up AP's to eat over the weekend. I also know that exercise would have de-stressed me today but I am choosing to dwell.
I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I haven't even checked up on anyone since the weekend. Right now our weekends are jam-packed and during the week we have been gaming like crazy people. My fiance and I are both video game addicts, we have been since long before we met each other. I guess that's part of what makes us such a great match. Not only have we been playing our PSP's, but we recently bought the new Lord of the Rings MMORPG. Another new online game to obsess over.
On the EP-front, I've been doing great with food and exercise so far. Not a single slip-up. I also went out and bought some new fruits and potatoes. Usually it's just apples and russet potatoes. Now I have sweet potatoes which I microwave and sprinkle with cinnamon. I also bought some grapes, raspberries and strawberries. It's been so much better eating those than eating all that other processed stuff. I'm disappointed that my weight isn't going anywhere, though. It's a little discouraging but I'm still hopeful. There isn't a single reason why my weight shouldn't be dropping right now.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week and I hope to find time to check up on you after my workout today. For now I have a parent meeting to attend.
Hey there! Yay, it's Friday! I took today off because my para did. hehe Kind of a silly excuse not to work but I'm enjoying it. My days off won't be rolling over to the next district I work for so I might as well use what I have. What did I do? I went shopping!
This week has been pretty good. I wasn't doing so well on the AP's because of my foot but it has been a lot better over the past 2 days. I have 12 AP's and set my goal for 15. There is still Saturday and Sunday left to get the last 3 in.
So far I am also on plan! Yippeeee!!! I am taking my eating a lot more seriously now. These days when I want something naughty Mike usually says, "Sure, you're on maintenance." I'm not blaming him for enabling me but it sure doesn't help.
I am working on exercising and not eating any more than 2 AP's a day that I've earned. I'm also working on identifying when I feel a binge coming on. It almost happened at the mall on Wednesday before my hair appointment. There weren't many healthy options for food and I was starving. On top of that I was emotionally upset because I couldn't find any short-sleeved shirts appropriate for work since all the stores were in "summer" mode and were selling tank tops. Yes, I was pouting. In the end I ended up buying a yogurt/granola parfait and a McDonald's medium french fry. I know the last one wasn't healthy at all but it wasn't horrible like a pint of Ben and Jerry's or a plate of Pad Thai.
I am sorry I haven't been around EP, too. A lot of things have been going on and I just haven't found the time. Mike bought us each our own PSP gaming systems on Tuesday so we've been playing a lot of video games, too!
Tonight I have all the time in the world so I'm going to go check up on all of you. :)
Thank you to all who have responded to the last post. It has helped a lot! I am working on battling my demons at the moment and journaling. I started up a new account at FitDay.com and am even considering using it as a replacement (yes, a replacement) for Weight Watchers.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with WW and it is what has helped me lose 75 pounds, but soon I will no longer be attending meetings with my mom because of my job changes and moving. I have been very successful using FitDay in the past which is why I am confident that it will keep me on track. That said, I am journaling there and recording everything I eat and all the exercises I do. It tells me if I'm getting the recommended daily amounts of everything, too. I like knowing whether or not I am taking in too much sodium, saturated fat, etc. I found out yesterday that my 22 points worth of food was worth only 1095 calories. That was a bit of a surprise. I thought it would have been at least 1200.
I went to eagerly exercise for 45 minutes today and had to stop. I felt a stinging pain in my left ankle about 15 minutes into the exercise. I don't normally stretch so I'm hoping that it's just something minor and that stretching will solve the problem. It hurts to walk on it now but it doesn't hurt at all if I squeeze any part of my foot with my hand. Maybe it's a tiny sprain? Anyone ever have this problem? Also, does anyone have suggestions for stretching exercises in regards to the ankles so I can prevent this from happening again? It's the first time I've experienced this and I'm disappointed that I don't get to exercise!
Ah, it's Monday. Once again it is a fresh new week and once again I went badly off-plan over the weekend. This never used to be a problem but the binge eating is still happening frequently enough to be considered a serious health issue.
On Saturday we visited with both sets of parents at Mike's parents' house. I had four large glasses of Fume Blanc and was completely trashed by the end of the night. I ate a decent dinner but would not stop eating the chips and dip beforehand. At dessert I ended up eating two large pieces of home made apple pie and one medium piece of pumpkin pie, all with home made whipping cream and vanilla ice cream.
Yesterday I figured, "Hey I'm off-plan so why not?" That was the mentality, at least. What a silly way to think! Mike and I were out on the town so I suggested we go to Thai food for lunch. We each ate a full plate of pad thai and even shared a plate of chicken fried rice. We were actually too full to eat the rice at the restaurant so we ate the rest at home that evening.
Then I wanted ice cream for dessert. I went to the store and bought us each a pint of Ben & Jerry's. We each ate our pints.
Did anything good come out of last week? Yes, I got in a total of 20 AP's which is a lot for me. It feels great to be back on track with exercise! I also spent 5 days in a row of being 100% on plan and feel good about that. I just need to eliminate binge eating somehow. Are there even tips for getting over that?
I am hopeful for this week. I feel encouraged with the exercise because of how well I did last week. It makes me feel like I can do it again this week without problems. It is Teacher Appreciation Week but I think I will just choose one small treat each day rather than the 10 different treats they will provide. We will be celebrating Mother's Day on Saturday, too.
Today I was feeling so full after work that I wanted to throw up which I know is gross but that's how I felt. I only got in 2 AP's today because of that but at least it's something. At lunch there were leftover Cinco De Mayo treats and there was this chocolate brownie dish with lots of chocolate icing (the kind you get on store-bought cupcakes) on top from Wal Mart and it was just amazing. Heaven. I had TWO big slices and OMG I have no idea how many points that's worth.
Tomorrow I plan to get in 4 more AP's. I think I will be weighing in officially on Monday with my mom so I am really trying to get my butt in gear. It's funny how thinking about WI makes me that much more motivated. Maybe I should go back to Weight Watchers every single Monday just to hold myself accountable? It's something to think about because I tend to slack off when I know I'm not going to WI the following week.
Right now our weekends are jam-packed and during the week we have been gaming like crazy people. My fiance and I are both video game addicts, we have been since long before we met each other. I guess that's part of what makes us such a great match. Not only have we been playing our PSP's, but we recently bought the new Lord of the Rings MMORPG. Another new online game to obsess over.