Many of you sent me a message after noticing I was checking your blogs but not saying anything! Thank you all for supporting me even though I've been unsupportive of myself. I checked people's blogs because I want to know how all of you are doing, but I haven't had the energy to post a comment to everyone.
Work is not fun and that is what has been holding me back from doing anything right. I started a new teaching job at a high school, thinking it might be more enjoyable than junior high. It is much harder and the students are much more challenging. It is an inner city school with many kids who come from nasty home lives and/or don't have parents. Skipping is incredibly common and parental support is uncommon. More than 80 different languages are spoken throughout the district. Adapting to this environment has proved to be challenging for me.
It seems like I'm re-starting my diet every other week because I let the stress control me. I was exercising in September and hurt my foot. It got better but I am not motivated to begin again. Anxiety and depression are two problems I've had throughout my life and right now those things are dominant contributors to everything I feel and do. I'm working on it and I have faith that one day things will get better. This age group is not right for me. I went to college to be an elementary school teacher, so why in the world did I decide to become a high school teacher? I learned my lesson.
I hope everyone is doing ok. I'll try to drop by and say hello to all of you. Posting on here is always motivating and I should really get back with it!
Ahhhh, MIA as usual! Life has been BUSY to say the least. Even my principal is telling us to take time for ourselves because there are so many changes and crazy things happening that everyone is experiencing a very high amount of stress. And we haven't worked with any of our kids yet! School starts next Wednesday.
I did get all of The Firm stuff. After sending a long and extended threatening e-mail, they overnighted my missing items to me and guess what? They came on time! Whoa, what a concept. haha They sent me some repeat items which I thought was a little odd but I can live with two sets of weights and some extra DVD's! I am loving the workouts so so much. It is crazy good stuff. It's nice they they give you a calendar of your first month to get you accustomed to which workout you should be doing on which day.
I get my hair done tomorrow and I'm thinking of requesting to get it shortened a couple inches above the shoulders. It might be more quick to dry in the mornings before work.
On the weight-front things haven't been so great. I'm going to tell you right now that the weight posted here on EP is not honest by any means. I have gained a considerable amount of weight and am working very hard to shed it. I am just so embarrassed for having binged so much in the past month that I am not willing to share. Maybe after the weight is gone I will be more comfortable. Let's just say that back when I was 110 pounds my work pants fit a little loosely (is that a word? lol). Now I am popping out of them and they are very tight and uncomfortable. This will change, I'm working on the one-or-two-day-a-week-binging thing. That is the true problem.
Anyhow, I like this idea of EP "support groups"! I joined a teacher one just to see if anyone else joins. I'd like to join more general group but it seems like no one is really using them right now. Hopefully things will pick up after a while.
I now have most of my order from The Firm. It's weird how I am getting it in odd little pieces instead of one big package. The situation has become so complicated that it takes pages to write about. I sent a big e-mail of complaint to them and demanded that I either get everything I paid for rushed to me or get my money back. I mentioned going to the BBB if I don't get my request. I'm also planning to send a formal letter of complaint to their mothership, Gaiam Corporate. I want the founder, chairman, president and all the directors to know how incompetent these people are.
Then, this afternoon, the mailman comes to my door with a small bubble envelope from The Firm and tells me if I want it I have to pay $3.67 for postage. It had to be cash or I'd have to wait and pick it up from the post office and pay then. Luckily Mike had cash, but when the mailman didn't have change he told us just to give him $3. Huh. I think he could sense my anger when I saw that the package was too small to have all the items I was expecting. Seriously, I was going to bust some heads.
I have most of everything now. I can fully use one of the two systems because I have the cardio weights and the DVD's to go along with them. Now I just need the "Box" which is a set of stair steps that go along with the other 4 DVD's that I got. I should have just ordered one workout system instead of two. Silly me for wanting variety in my workout regimen.
We did find another giant house spider in the same bathroom. In the past week we've found two of them, one medium sized spider, and two potato bugs in the same bathroom. We haven't found any creepy crawlies anywhere else. They are getting in somehow.
As for good news, I had fun last night at a surprise birthday party for a friend. I got so trashed. There's this pizza place called Rock Pizza and Pasta and they have these buckets you can get, limit of 2. They come in colorful plastic sand pales with 5 different rums. I drank two of them plus two amaretto sours. It was awesome!
The past couple months has caused me to develop a coffee addiction. I am going to Starbuck's a lot LESS and drinking a couple cups of coffee every morning at home. Starbuck's isn't as convenient as it used to be and there isn't even one on the way to work anymore. That means less money out of my pocket, but it also means I have to find something to eat for breakfast on work mornings!
The other half of The Firm hasn't come yet. I have probably called the company about 7 times in the past two months. Last week when I called they tracked my package and said it is due to get here today. If it doesn't get here TODAY, I am going to throw a TISSY FIT. No joke, people. The last time my package came and I discovered only half of my order, I walked around the apartment angrily throwing my arms around like I was gonna hit something, muttering and yelling, "I'M GONNA SUE!" If anything, I'll contact the Better Business Bureau.
The new apartment is ok. It's a lot louder during the daytime due to maintenance guys updating the buildings, but completely quiet at night. Sleeping is great because we're not nextdoor neighbors to the Boeing hangar anymore. We found a giant house spider the other day. I was in the bathroom and didn't see it crawling up the wall right next to me until I got up. We've seen these guys before so we have this can of spider spray because spiders that size scare the crap out of both of us. I couldn't even spray it, Mike had to do it before I started hyperventilating.
That's the news so far. I'll update you after 4pm about The Firm, tissy fit or no.
It didn't come today and I'm going to throw a tissy fit now.
Tissy Fit:
HOW CAN A COMPANY BE SO INCOMPETENT? NOT ONLY DOES IT TAKE A WHOLE FUCKING MONTH TO GET HERE BUT THEN HALF OF IT DOESN'T COME AND EVEN THAT HALF IS UNUSABLE UNTIL THE OTHER HALF ARRIVES. THEN IT TAKES ANOTHER FUCKING MONTH FOR THE OTHER HALF TO ARRIVE AND IT DOESN'T COME ON THE ESTIMATED DATE THAT IT WAS TRACKED FOR AND EVEN THEN I DON'T KNOW IF THE RIGHT STUFF IS INSIDE THE PACKAGE BECAUSE THE COMPANY IS SO INCOMPETENT. ON TOP OF THAT THEY TREAT ME LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT I NEVER GOT THE WHOLE PACKAGE AND DON'T REIMBURSE JACK SHIT TO ME OR EVEN GIVE ME QUICKER SHIPPING TO MAKE UP FOR THEIR CRAP SERVICE. ON TOP OF THAT I CAN'T CALL THEM TO SEE WHAT CITY MY PACKAGE IS IN (SINCE, OF COURSE, THE TRACKING NUMBER THEY GAVE ME DOESN'T WORK) BECAUSE THEY ARE ON EASTERN TIME AND CLOSE AT 6PM. SO THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO EXCEPT BITCH ABOUT THEM.
YAY we have internet!!! It's so funny how dependent we become on these crazy inventions. We moved over the weekend and were able to get internet just this evening.
I'm fine, we're fine, things are all good. :) I don't want to elaborate too much because I'm crazy-tired. It's 2:15am. Here's the rundown of the last week:
Mike's friend stayed with us and we drank alcohol every night because it was fun and social. He left on Saturday morning. Mike and I also moved that day. There were 7 people, a 14' U-Haul, two SUV's, and 3 other cars. You'd think all of that would be enough in one trip. We were living in a one-bedroom apartment. It took us a two trips to move most of the stuff, and then 3 or 4 extra trips on Sunday with one SUV. Then cleaning the old apartment. Wow, we have a lot of stuff.
It feels great to be done with our move! We love the new place and have an extra 200 square feet and an extra bedroom and bathroom. :)
We have a friend who has to be moved out of her place as of today, so she called us this afternoon to see if we'd help her move. SAY WHAT?! No U-Haul, almost no boxes packed, and she was also in a 1 bedroom apartment. No one seems to be taking charge in this situation, she is so overwhelmed that she claims she is not going to make any decisions, so it's all up to Mike and I to get her moved. Hmm... Does this make sense? I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.
This entry turned out longer than expected. I will check up on all of you soon! Maybe not tomorrow because we still have to keep moving our friend but one of these days it will happen!!!
That's where I am right now. I'm working toward getting trashed every night because I'm such a stressball. The theme of the week is "Leanne doesn't get her way". I don't react well to not getting what I want.
I made a reservation with U-Haul a month ago to have it from 9am-5pm on Saturday. I called to confirm on Monday and they had my name in the system but I wasn't scheduled for a time. At this point they had nothing available until 1pm. So we have the U-Haul at 1pm on Saturday but imagine what a predicament we would have been in if I had not called to confirm in the first place. There would be no U-Haul.
My The Firm shipment came yesterday. Half of what I ordered was there. I ordered two separate workout systems. One comes with stair steps and 4 DVD's to go with them. The other comes with adjustable weights and 4 DVD's to go with them. I got the 4 DVD's that go with the stair-steps, but no stair-steps. I got the adjustable weights, but no DVD's. So I have half of what I need for both systems, rendering both unusable. The company claims they are sending me the "replacements" free of charge to the new address. 1-7 business days, according to the guy on the phone. ha-ha I know better than that. I'm expecting to get it by the end of August if I'm lucky, and if I'm really really lucky I might actually get the materials necessary to be able to use the two workout programs.
Hmmmm what else is there... Half of our stuff has been packed and we move on Saturday. I'm the only one doing the packing and Mike's best friend is living with us for the week so Mike has been busy with work and spending time with his friend. I don't blame him. It would just be nice to feel supported in our relocation.
All the while my mom is bugging me every other day about finding a caterer for the wedding. Weddings... Bah humbug!
Diet? LOL The scale and tape measure don't exist this week. I'm going to go pack the damn thing right now so I don't have to think about it.
I called The Firm people again today. I got a different story, but I believe this one! The guy this time was not a rude little bitch like the last lady so I guess I trust him more. Turns out my package has been on backorder most of the month and that they just sent it out yesterday!!! It is supposed to get here the day before I move. Grand.
For all you ladies interested in The Firm, DO NOT order it directly from the company! They never told me it was on backorder or that it would take a full month to get here. I feel like such a dumbass because I didn't even think about going to Amazon.com or Target or Wal-Mart or whoever else may carry the product. It's probably cheaper at those places.
Mike's best friend is staying with us for a while. He's in the process of moving back to the US after being in Europe for years in the US special forces. This is going to be a HUGEchallenge with food. It doesn't sound like they are going to buy him groceries and we sure don't have any real food here, so every meal is going to be out at restaurants. My plan is to ask them to leave me at home during mealtimes, except for maybe once this week so I can have my weekly splurge on something good.
Thank you for checking up on me, TatumsMom. :) I'm still here. I wasn't sure what I'd write about this week so I kept myself hidden until today's WI.
114.8! That's down 3 pounds from last week. :) I don't think I've ever lost that much in one week being under 120 pounds. Given a lot of it is water weight, it still feels damn good.
It pays to stay 100% on plan! I was considering going overboard this week because I had these cravings for burgers and fries. On Saturday we went to a BBQ and I managed to stay there for all 4 hours without eating a burger or cake. There was a lot of cake and I must have looked at the white frosted one with the pink flowers about 100 times with longing. I told Mike I wanted a piece but that it looked so pretty and no one was cutting it. I didn't want to be the first one! In the end all I had was a few light drinks and a chocolate cookie.
I am DYING to get my TransFIRMer and TheFirm stuff in the mail. It shipped on the 6th and the website says to allow 10-15 business days. Plus they don't give you a tracking code so you can't find out where your package is. I'm going to harass them if I don't get it soon. I tried on Monday and the lady was so rude to me I could have reached through the phone and slapped her.
I was woken up this morning by the loudest thunder I've ever heard. I was groggy and just lying there when, a few seconds later I saw a big flash and heard an even louder clap of thunder. It scared me right out of bed!
I was even more surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning. Today it said 116.0. Yesterday it said 117.8 which is what accounted for the 1 pound gain. Talk about fluctuation!
I gained a pound. Funny little trend I have going this summer. Lose over a pound, gain a pound, lose that pound, lose a little more, gain another pound... Gotta say this is a trend that I'm not used to. I'm used to being successful almost all of the time. That was the first year and a half of this journey!
This summer has been a challenge with food because I'm not working. I spend a lot of boredom time thinking about food and eating it because I spend so much time thinking about it. Then on the days when I am out and about I spend so much time not eating that by the time I have time to eat I'm starving and eat too much.
I've upped my points to 20 per day to make me feel less like I have to be anorexic. I commit to some kind of exercise this week but I'm not obligating myself to a certain amount of days or AP's. If I do earn AP's I do not plan to eat them. I have finished all my ice cream in the freezer and do not have plans to buy more because it is my downfall.
Mike had a really good ice cream suggestion, though. My biggest problem is scooping just one serving of ice cream out of the tub. I always go for more and end up eating at least twice as much. Mike suggested I buy several little Gladware/Ziplock containers and scoop out individual servings to store in the fridge. This would totally work because it worked when I just ate one little WW ice cream dessert every night. Not a bad idea at all.
