Self Control

The "no electronics" thing didn't happen.  It wasn't even close!  Still it's been a good weekend.  We went to the Reno 911 movie and cleaned some of our pets' homes.  We have a ferret, two box turtles and two fish tanks.  Yesterday was the beta's small 1-gallon tank and today was the turtles' terrarium.

Off-topic:  I feel like such a beotch right now because, on my way back from working out, I came across our next door neighbor and her adorable little puppy that she recently got.  I let her know that on Friday night it was crying really loudly for several hours and that I just wanted her to know about it.  It started barking around 8-ish and stopped at 11:30pm.  I feel bad because I think she took it personally.  Her response is that she's not usually gone in the evenings but that she was gone that night.  Should I have said something or kept it to myself?

I hope all of you have had a fun weekend!

How Am I Doing This?

This is the first time I've eaten lunch in my classroom rather than going to the lounge.  I love to socialize with my co-workers.  Today there is a "rolling taco bar" for all three lunches and I somehow managed to lock myself away from the food and the people.  I am really starting to ask myself, "Where does this self-control come from???"  This isn't who I am.  I am the heavyset girl who loves sit-in restaurants, 45-point boneless buffalo wings and chatting during a tasty meal!  Huh, and somehow here I am in my classroom, finishing my Diet Mug root beer and easily not caring about the food in the lounge.  What dimension is this self-control coming from?

This morning the scale read 109.1.  On Tuesday and Wednesday it was over 111, then yesterday 109.8 and today 109.1.  I'm eating much more food than usual so it kind of makes me laugh to see the scale going in the other direction.  I'm well "in the hole" with points this week (have been since Monday's Red Robin/ Cold Stone visit) and have been eating an extra 4 points every day all AP's.  Give it 3 weeks and it probably will be different, right?  This maintenance thing is so much trickier than weight-loss.

Mike suggested we take a day or the weekend and cut ourselves off from all electronics so that we can do things we don't normally do.  I think that's a pretty cool idea so I'm not sure whether or not I'll be on EP over the weekend.  I might sneak on, though!  It's becoming an addiction.

Speaking of addiction, I tried a Starbuck's Cinnamon Dolce light frappuccino today, venti.  It was only 5 points of bliss.  Score!

Better Today

Hi guys,

I'm better today.  To tell you the truth I feel like it looked a lot worse on paper, as Heathsgirl mentioned.  What took place was true, and how I felt about it was also true, but I feel like my WW leader doesn't deserve me making her out to be a bad leader.

She's really fun which is why I go to her meetings.  The show that happened in front of other WW members didn't happen on purpose, they just happened to be standing right there waiting in line behind me and just happened to see and hear her tell me that I was underweight and would have to leave.  Then they watched me step out of the room briefly to get my shoes and coat so I could step back on the scale and weigh more, hence being allowed to stay.  I'm assuming there is a WW "law" saying that anyone who is underweight or pregnant can't be a member, so she was just doing her job.

In the end I am feeling good!  I am going to gain a few pounds and try to maintain around 112-115 officially.  That way everyone will be happy (including me) and perhaps I can fill out my pants a little bit more.  I was starting to wonder where I was going to go if I couldn't fit my size 0's anymore.

WI

Weigh-in was very... Awkward, to say the least.

Funny story (not really):

I went with my mom this afternoon to weigh-in.  I told Janice, my WW leader, that I wanted to change my official goal from 137 to 120 in order to keep myself more accountable.  137 just seems too high and I am doing ok in the teens.  Before stepping on the scale I also admitted that I wanted to gain a couple pounds because I know my scale at home has been telling me that I am still losing weight.  Upon stepping on the scale I was thinking, "Ok, as long as it's not below 108 I'm still considered healthy according to Weight Watchers."

The scale read 108.8.  Ok, safe.

Then Janice looks at me with those concerned eyes and said that I am underweight.  She showed me the new program booklet and pointed to the weight ranges.  Under 5'2" she pointed to 114 and said that's where I should be right now.  She also said she could tell I was underweight when I first walked through the door.  Lastly she said I would have to leave the premises, but since I told her I really wanted to gain weight before I stepped on the scale she was going to give me a "grace".  Gee, thanks.

So at this point there is a pileup of about 10 women watching me while Janice apologizes for taking so long.  I'm feeling embarrassed and ashamed of myself, even though I thought 108.8 was supposed to be considered healthy for my height and never once thought I looked underweight.  No one has told me that I look underweight.

As a last-ditch effort Janice has me throw on my coat and shoes and step back on the scale.  112.0.  "That's better, you can stay," She says.  Or something to that effect.

The old WW manual said 108.0 was the lowest healthy weight for 5'2".  I told Janice this information but she said nothing has ever changed on their healthy weight range scale since we got the new matierals.  I told her I would go home and find the old materials to show her.

Here I am with the new and old materials.  Neither of us were right but I was the closest!  It says the lowest healthy weight for 5'2" is 109.  It says in both the old and new materials!!! 

114 is the lowest weight you can be to join Weight Watchers, because you have to need to lose at least 5 pounds in order to join up.  So the truth is that 108.8 technically is underweight by .2, but that I can still be 109.0 and be healthy and not get kicked out.

I felt like a disgrace to the face of WW today, like I should have known that 108.8 was unacceptable.  I honestly thought the materials said 108 was still healthy.  I don't see a too-skinny girl in the mirror.  I've officially set my WW goal to 120 but am going to gain up to 115 and try to maintain at that so that I won't get booted.

I'd be interested in anyone's feedback on this, positive or negative.   I need to learn something from this.

Hope everyone else has a good week!

So Much Better

I'm feeling so much better than I was the other day.  The mood issues are gone and TOM has showed up.  Ibuprofin is very necessary at this point but my overall system is feeling all in order.

This morning the scale said 108.4.  Over the past couple weeks I had gained a couple pounds and was closer to 112 due to the excessive junk food binges.  This is the second time I've been this low in weight (the first time was about 2 weeks ago, before I started eating a lot of junk food) and I'm happy about it.  Time to keep on tracking food, exercising and being careful about what goes in my mouth!

Monthly weigh-in is on Monday.  Mom is back in town from Texas so we're going together on the holiday afternoon.  I'll let you know how it goes.  The goal is to not go above 110.2 if possible.  Their scale always shows a couple pounds heavier than my home scale.

Valentine's Day

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days.  On Tuesday I was feeling really crappy at work and I wasn't sure why.  My stomach was being weird and I had no energy and wanted to scream at everyone.  Then I realized that TOM is coming up this weekend.  Could it be some serious PMS?

First of all, I've never had PMS symptoms before TOM begins.  Is that odd?  Well, usually it's just very light cramping for the first day or two and that's it, no biggie.  Over the past 2 months it's been like the description above, much more acute and crazy crazy moodiness.  I took V-Day off to recuperate because I'm so not used to this mental/physical torment.  Anyone else have this issue after losing a lot of weight?  I wonder if the two are somehow connected.

Anyway, Mike stayed home with me on Valentine's Day.  He gave me a beautiful pink pearl and diamond solitaire necklace from his work, BlueNile.com.  I've never seen a pink pearl before but it looks great.  This is the necklace.

We went to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for dinner.  The atmosphere was beautiful.  Very 1920's, with the pictures and beaded chandeliers and Frank Sinatra in the background.  The petit filet was amazing.  I quickly discovered that 8oz. of the stuff is a lot of meat!  I ate the whole thing but it made me sick.  We both got sick last night after dinner.  Neither of us eat very much meat at all, let alone red meat, so I think it was a shock to our systems.

I hope everyone else had a great Valentine's Day!

I Did It!

I did it, oh my gosh it was so hard!  I didn't eat the chocolate cake!!!!  One of the teachers brought in a large, very tempting chocolate layer cake with chocolate icing.  Imagine Claim Jumpers 7-layer cake... Only with about 4 layers.  Oh. My. Gosh.  I finished my lunch and got out of there because everyone was taking a piece and the smell was all around us.  Yay me!

I also went through the Ruth's Chris menu and have picked out a few things that will make a good dinner but hopefully won't go overboard. 

The petite filet shouldn't be too many points because it's so small.  Then I think I will get the baked potato which will be the worst because it is a 1-pounder... But I only like it with butter, cheese and bacon.  No sour cream or chives.  For a drink I will have an amaretto sour and then maybe some diet soda after that.  None of the desserts sounded very appealing so I'll just skip that.  Does that sound like a reasonable dinner?

I don't want to eat myself into a hole like I've been doing lately.  In fact, I've gained at least a good solid pound over the past couple weeks for the ways I've been eating.  I honestly think it's fat and not water, based on the foods I've been eating and going off plan the other week.  This week will be better.  I will only go out to eat for V-Day and the rest of the time I will be good!

Next Monday is WI.  I have one week to correct my behaviors because they are going to become habit if I'm not more careful.

On Plan!

I'm feeling a lot better today.  Had some needed discussions and am back on the right track.

I'm also completely on plan!  It was a close call today when we went out for Teriyaki chicken over white rice and then ran to the TCBY for a 96% fat-free sundae with M&M's, chocolate chip cookie dough pieces and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups pieces.  I've used every single flex point available but haven't gone over!  Tomorrow I will exercise and eat 23 points worth of food.  Then it will all start over on Monday.

The downside is that I was not planning on being quite this bad this week.  I didn't want to use all my flex and I wanted to practice better self control.  Didn't happen as expected.

For Valentine's day we are going to Ruth's Chris Steak House.  After looking at the menu, I am excited to get a steak filet.  They're supposed to be well-known for their steaks; something about the plate being so hot that it cooks the meat.

How's everyone's weekend going?

Students

Dear 7th, 8th and 9th Graders,

Thank you for making me laugh today and making my life more enjoyable when I'm feeling down in the dumps.  If it weren't for you I would have spent the whole day in misery.  Instead I spent it in happiness, realizing that this is why I am a teacher.

I was thinking about it first period this morning.  I was in a particularly bad mood because of some personal stuff going on at home, but when I started working with my students things quickly perked up and I almost immediately forgot all my woes.

Of course now that the kids are gone I'm feeling unhappy again, but not nearly as depressed as I was when I first walked through the school doors.  I don't want to get too much into the issue, but basically I have been informed that being a passive-aggressive person is a very very bad thing.  I guess I understand, but now I have to work on changing who I am.  This bothers me greatly but there's really nothing I can do except change, otherwise I am destined to live out my life as someone who is unlovable.  That's how I feel, whether or not it's true.

Are most people in the world not passive-aggressive and always just say exactly how they feel regardless of the feelings of others?

I'm going to go home and work off this negative energy.

Yay Friday!

Yay it's Friday tomorrow!  It's hard to believe it's almost the middle of February already.

Yesterday we had a staff meeting and I gave in to all the "healthy" snacks they had there.  They provided water, pretzels, animal crackers, goldfish and chocolate covered raisins.  I had a little bit of everything except the pretzels.  Ok I went overboard with the chocolate covered raisins.  I had about 40 of them!  And they were much much larger than Raisinettes.  But it's OK because it's all on plan!!! 

And I have kept my paws out of the candy drawer.

I also have 12 AP's under my belt and 3 more days to workout.  That is unusual for me.

Plus over 100 oz of water every day so far...

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty darn good; revived from last week's atrocity.

I hope all of you are having a good week as well.  I can't check up on you because I'm on a different computer so I don't have my RSS!  Plus I'm going out with my family to Mexican food.