Many of you sent me a message after noticing I was checking your blogs but not saying anything! Thank you all for supporting me even though I've been unsupportive of myself. I checked people's blogs because I want to know how all of you are doing, but I haven't had the energy to post a comment to everyone.
Work is not fun and that is what has been holding me back from doing anything right. I started a new teaching job at a high school, thinking it might be more enjoyable than junior high. It is much harder and the students are much more challenging. It is an inner city school with many kids who come from nasty home lives and/or don't have parents. Skipping is incredibly common and parental support is uncommon. More than 80 different languages are spoken throughout the district. Adapting to this environment has proved to be challenging for me.
It seems like I'm re-starting my diet every other week because I let the stress control me. I was exercising in September and hurt my foot. It got better but I am not motivated to begin again. Anxiety and depression are two problems I've had throughout my life and right now those things are dominant contributors to everything I feel and do. I'm working on it and I have faith that one day things will get better. This age group is not right for me. I went to college to be an elementary school teacher, so why in the world did I decide to become a high school teacher? I learned my lesson.
I hope everyone is doing ok. I'll try to drop by and say hello to all of you. Posting on here is always motivating and I should really get back with it!
Posted By: Leanne_Nalani
Comments to this post:
10/19/2007 20:26
yay, you're back!
even if you feel like you're not doing anything right, you really are. hey, the first step is acknowledging that things haven't been going as smoothly on the weight front as they once were...and you've already done that much!
i'm sorry to hear the job isn't all you'd hoped it would be. i remember when you were super excited to have been accepted for the position. BUT you can move on from here. i think it's a good thing that you took a risk and did something outside your comfort zone even if it turned out to be not what you were expecting. it's good for us to challenge ourselves once in a while, and now you know this is not for you.
sometimes life comes up and we give in to choices we know aren't the best for us, health-wise. However, bouncing back is something that you know how to do. i know you know how to do it. and i hope that you find the desire to get back on the wagon asap. =) it's nice to see a post from you.
I moved from Middle School to Elementary... and I feel the stress level of change and wonder why I left my comfort zone. I have also had to deal with the sluggish part of "this time of the year".
The first half of the year is always difficult but throw in the change of scenery :-) It's almost like being a first year teacher all over again...
It will ease up after the Holidays :-) IF not, at least you can start the count down to what you really want.
Cuz fish and turtles don't have fur! Duh! Poor Mama! Is that her name? When we "inherited" our baby turtle, my dad had already named her "Baby". So that is still her name. You may have missed my post about my dad finding 3 (yes, count them THREE) baby tortoises in his back yard! "Baby" has 3 new little siblings that a year younger than her! Can you believe it? And since we last talked, I think, all my fish have died. So I'm down to 2 dogs, 4 cats, & 1 teeny tiny baby tortoise. Oh, and a husband and 2 kids...still!
Other than that, things are fine! Same old, same old!
All that turtle talk and I feel like I excluded poor Penny! Give her a kiss and a hug, ok? She is so cute! Ferrets are supposedly "illegal" here in CA, but I think I told you that my cousin, Danny, in Las Vegas, has one, too. They are so cute and cuddly!
Glad to hear you, Mike, and all the pets are doing good!
I work with kids in the inner city of Houston with the United Way and a gang intervention program so I know how difficult it can be with older kids. Please stay positive and remember why you are a teacher. I have been physically attacked by the kids I am helping and it sometimes seems thankless, but there is a reason for what you are doing at that school. You are there to teach and help grow young minds whether they accept it or not. The challenge with a lot of inner city youth is that people have given up on them their entire life and the world has found it easier to just walk away from them and not guide them through their turmoil. Many of the former gang members that I have worked with are now teachers (at least 8 that I know of), and they never would have made the connection if people gave in to the challenges that seemed insurmountable. I respect the inner city teachers because they are the heroes who don't give up on our children and they fight the hard battle to help the kids who don't know how to succeed. It is easier to teach a child who comes from a stable home with both parents and positive environment because they are usually given the support and direction their entire life that helps them be successful. Many inner city youth do not have a positive adult role model in their lives and you may be the first that they ever connect with. I want to encourage you to stay positive and do what you can to help as many kids as possible and remember that you are the adult who will make a difference in those children's lives. I have a scar on my left hand from a kid who stabbed me during a mentoring session in Albuquerque in 1998 and it reminds me of why I wanted to help and teach kids how to succeed. The same kid who pulled a knife on me is now working as an executive for CITGO in Louisiana and he calls me at least three times a year to say thanks for not giving up on him. You never know how important you are and how much a difference you are making in peoples lives so don't give up and don't get discouraged! The challenges that you face today will be at your feet tomorrow and you just need to keep climbing over your obstacles and pushing through the swamp that is life. You are an inspiration to me and because of that I can be an inspiration to others so don't get discouraged.I say it all the time STAY POSITIVE and don’t give up on yourself or those kids.Thanks for the post on my blog and remember "No Retreat, No Surrender, this is weight loss law!"
Thanks for posting to my new blog. I had just had a cake-making disaster! The batter ended up all over the kitchen, inside my oven, then in the bin. (Not to mention on my pants legs.) Could it be PMS??
... and prayers for you hon!! Keep hanging in there. Sorry to hear this new job is getting you down so much. Hope something will change for you (new job or something, if it is a possibility)
alot! I always love reading your blogs since you have become my friend and are a teacher like my father. He also is an elementry teacher, grade 6. He said he could never teach High school or ever middle school. I feel for you and sure hope somehow you can go back to middle school or even better grade school teaching.. {hugs} As far as the diet and exercise, just do what you can right now and don't let it eat you up. If you need a break that is OK so you can get to feeling better. In the meantime just try little things like little walks or something.. :-)
Just wanted to pop in and offer some support. Sorry things haven't been the greatest at work. I hope they get better. We all have these phases in our lives! This too will pass. Sometimes it helps to go back into your old posts and get re-inspired from them.
I hope the exercising starts coming back to you!! I know how great you felt when you were doing it. HUGS to you!!
