06/18/2010 12:48
I've always said this but never really stuck to it. Until now.
The first stage on a weight loss journey should always be, to coin a pyschobabble phrase, body and self acceptance. Without this, you will never really get anywhere as the last ten years have shown me. Years of constant yo-yo dieting, bulimia, compulsive eating and OCD have left me with the body and mind I have (wow, pack me off to the loony bin now!) I'm not going to slag myself off anymore because regardless of how it looks or how I feel, this is me.
I used to let myself get wound up over the slightest little thing, both at home and at work. Now, everything pretty much washes over me. I count to 10, think and then things don't seem so bad. Yeah I'm big, so what? Whinging about it is going to achieve what exactly? Nothing. I need to listen to my brain more.
It's time I made the most of what I have now and you should too. I'm slowly learning that I have no idea whether or not being thin will even make me happy so I'm not living for the "when I lose weight I can do this" philosophy anymore. I will weigh myself once a month and that's it. I will eat good food and exercise because I want to, not because I "should".
Stand in front of a mirror and concentrate on all the bits that you love about yourself. Sometimes you have to look hard but you will always find something. I love my eyes so therefore, I will do more with them. Those who know me will know I love my eyeliner and random eyeshadows. I'm going to spend more time doing different things with my eye makeup. Baby steps.