The Last Pounds Must GO!

New pics and an Update on my Weight and My Mom :o)

Saturday, December 9, 2006 00:07:02

Well, it's late Thursday night / early Friday morning depending on how you look at it--- and me, my husband and our 15 year old son just got back from seeing "The" Buddy Guy Live live in concert. Man I gotta tell ya, he still has it and he was just simply amazing. I'll be uploading a couple of new pics in my photo album of us tonight **So check out my concert pics of me and my family!!**

Yes, I'm still alive, I know I've been neglecting my blog, but since I work now, and since I take my mom to get her Chemo and to all of her other Dr.s' appointments and my MIL and SIL to theirs as well, I just don't have time to do anything.. I know it's bad and I should take time, but what can I do there's only 24 hours in a day and I only get to sleep about 4 hours a day and the rest of the time I *have* to be somewhere or I'm *having* to clean the house or wash clothes or walk the dogs. I have only been on the computer about a handful of times since I started working-- and that's only because I was paying a bill online or whatnot. I feel so bad, I have lost touch with just everyone and I feel horrible. I just have not been the kind of support you all deserve. I feel like I've let a lot of you down by not posting and keeping in touch, and for that I'm sorry.. But I never new I would or could ever be this busy.

I have been doing great weight wise, I am 130.2 pounds and I am even having TOM, he came for a visit last night after about 45 minutes of me being at work. That was fun.

So I have kind of been stuck with my weight. I'm not sure my body is gonna give the last 10 pounds up or not, but I'm fighting with it every day. I'm hoping when TOM leaves in a few days I hope he takes about 4 pounds with him. I'd be ever so grateful.

If he did take 4 pounds with him, I'd weigh 126.2 - Oh man that would so rock! I know it's not all about numbers, but this is a personal goal. It's very important to me that I reach MY magic number, it's to prove to myself that I am the one in control, not the food. I eat to stay alive now- not to feel alive. I used to eat for comfort, and I still do at times... But nothing like I use to. I would have a bad day and I'd turn to food for comfort and it made me feel better, or so I thought so at the time. What I didn't know is that my loss of control over food robbed me of almost 15 years of my life and I don't know why it took me so long to finally do it, but all I can say is Thank God I Did It.

Well, I'll try to catch you up with kinda what's been going on around here.. We went and seen the comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White about 2 weeks ago, and he was so funny! He did not disappoint, we all 3 of us laughed our asses off, yes we took our son and he had a ball. My son also has just had a birthday, he turned 15 on Labor Day (Sept. 3) and I just had a birthday in August,- I'm the big THREE SIX now !! I'm nearly 40, how wild is that?! I think it's pretty wild.

We've been doing a few little projects around the house when we've had the time. Keeping our yard up and my MIL's yard as well. It's not been an easy summer. And work, work, work. Cooking and cleaning and walking the dogs, more work, work, work. I'm tired a lot, but I sleep pretty good on my off nights. I'm off tonight of course because I took a vacation day so we could go to the concert tonight, because my shift starts @ 11:00 p.m. and I get off at 7:00 a.m. and right now it happens to be 2:15 a.m.

My Mom is doing really, really good now. The first few Chemo treatments she had a really hard time with it, they made her so very sick. Now, she's doing 150% better and she's as bald as a bowling ball. Her hair fell out in huge clumps and she had small patches of hair all over and so I just took my buzz cutters and we sat in my kitchen and I shaved her head for her. I gave her a baby mo hawk while I was cutting her hair. I'll post a pic when I find it.

Ok guys, I'm going to go to bed, I'm tired and I have to clean my house really good when I get up Friday morning. I have to work Friday night and then I am off Saturday and Sunday this week ( *I work every other weekend* )

So this is my weekend to be off (THANK GOD!) I've had a rough couple of nights as far as working hard at work. too hard in my opinion, hahaha.. But anyways, I miss you all, and I hope that you all are doing well!! I'll try to not let "forever" go by before I write again. I am off this Saturday and Sunday - so I'll try and write Sunday some time.

I'm hoping for a nice little loss in the next few days, I'll keep you posted.

~Tink~

Comments(6)

What? Two posts in One day? It can't be!

Thursday, December 7, 2006 00:02:17

My Mom met her oncologist today and she got some very good news. She's only in stage 2 cancer and that's not bad at all, in fact most people find out they have cancer in stage 2. So she'll be doing 6 months of chemo and then after that she's going to do radiation. She is going to be ok. I just got home and I wanted to let you all know it's not as bad as we thought it was.

I feel so much better and so does she!

I'll write again soon.

~Tink~

Comments(5)

I'm still here Plus 2 new Pics In My album

Thursday, December 7, 2006 00:02:09

I'm still here, I've added 2 new pics in my EP album. My mom came through the surgery just fine, but they think the cancer has spread, they removed some of her lymph nodes. She doesn't let me go into the doctors office with her, so I'm not really sure what's going on, or how bad it might be. She's being very private about this matter and I feel so alone and lost.

My weight is stable, and I really am not concerned too much about numbers now. I weighed this morning and I was 131.2- so as long as I am under 135 I am ok I guess. I've been working my butt off while at work, plus I am walking A LOT, I posted a pic of my pedometer where I've walked almost 7 miles in one night, plus you gotta remember I am pushing a cart that weighes about 75 pounds, so my husband says I am building muscle and that's why my weight is just being stable, but my body fat percentage is droping.

I've not been blogging at all, I just don't have the time. Even on my off days I'm busy cleaning the house, running my mom and other people to their doctors appointments and I'm still taking care of my mother in law and sister in law. I just have a lot on my plate right now, and I do feel bad that I've not kept you all up to date.

Today my mom meets with her oncologist and Friday she meets with her radiologist. I'm not sure what's going on, she doesn't let me go back in the office with her when she goes, I have to sit out in the waiting room. But I'm not pushy, she has enough to deal with besides a pushy 35 year old daughter. So I'm letting her do what she feels is best, but I just have a feeling something bad is happening and she doesn't want to tell me or anyone else for that matter.

I've been doing really good at my job, I have recieved 2 letters of praise and the director of my department has recieved E-mails about how nice I am to the staff and how I have made their stations cleaner than they ever been.

I'm not bragging, but I am a very hard worker and I take pride in what I do. I help keep infection down at my hospital and to me that's a very important job that I am proud to have.

Ok, so my eating is going really good. I do have a time or two every now and then when I let stress get the better part of me, and I binge slighly, but I recover and get back on track once again. So I can't complain.

I feel so bad that I've not checked on any of you, Angel, Alexia, Lauren, ... you all know who you are. I really hope that you are all doing great and that you are having much success! I've gotta go now, I've gotta hop in the shower and get ready, I have to take my mom to the doctor today and I have so much I have to do.

I hope you are all ok, and doing well. I'll try to update again soon, but with everything going on I just can't make any promises.

((HUGS))

~Tink~

Comments(1)

Breast Cancer Surgery Today

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 22:02:03

Today is the day my mom has breast cancer surgery, please keep her in your prayers. It's 3:02 Georgia time and I've been up since Thursday morning @ 8:00 a.m. - I'm tired but I can't sleep so I just used all of my nervous enery and cleaned my whole house. If I could have seen outside in the dark I'd have washed my car too.

Please keep my mom in your prayers, her name is Linda.

I don't even know if I'll weigh in today, it'e not like it matters, I've not been thinking all too much about my food the past week or so. I do ok while I'm at work, but when I get home reality hits me and I seem to lean on food as my old crutch. I'm doing better as of yesterday, but I still don't think I'm going to weigh in today. Plus I've drank a few beers this week, kinda my way of escaping , but I have not drank in a long, long time, and I probably wont drink again until the 4th of July and only 3 or 4 light beers...

I hope you are all ok and doing good. I'll update you all on how my mom is doing Saturday sometime.

Please say a little prayer for her today that they get all of the cancer and that the radiation she'll be taking kills any tiny little cancer cells left in her body.

((HUGS))

~Tink~ <~~~ Praying in Georgia

Comments(4)

I'm here- Finally Plus, new pics

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 23:08:18

Ok, I know, I know. Bad EP blogger. Yes, I am feeling guilty on my own thanks- LOL

I have been off since Friday morning, but I've been busy as usual. I did hit my 130.0 pounds on Friday morning when I came home and weighed. But TOM came to visit me Saturday morning and now I'll have to wait to see what this coming Fridays WI says. I'm trying for 129.8 or less.

Yes, I know it's not all about numbers on a scale, but it's my "marker" on how well I'm doing with trying to eat like a normal person. Just because someone looks "normal" doesn't mean that they have it all together. If any of you watch Intervention on A&E you'll know what I'm talking about. I think it was Friday night they had a very pretty, very skinny girl on there who binge ate and then purged. She looked like the picture of perfect health and she was right the oppisite. She had the flattest little tummy and she was just so pretty. She was also messed up badly when it came to food. I felt so bad for her.

And I'll tell ya what's weird- where I work they've only seen me @ this weight (between 130-135) so when they say things like "tiny" or "little" and they are referring to me, it's weird. At first I think in my head that they are being smarta$$es, but then it hits me- they don't know what I use to look like. So I'm taking in a few pics to let them see what I've looked like for the past 15 years or so.

So anyways- I'm sorry I still haven't checked up on anyone, and I'm just gonna quit saying I am gonna do it. I'll just do it when I have the time. I'm still trying to learn how to manage my time between work, family and doctors visits for everyone else. I had to cancle an eye appointment for myself twice now because I've been so concerned with everyone elses doctors appts. No big deal, my eyes are fine and the longer I wait to go back and see the doc about them the swelling on the cornea will be much better than it would have been if he seen me last week. So it's all good.

I weighed this morning and I am 132.2 and Friday I was 130.0- TOM came to visit me Saturday morning and so I'm hoping like a crazy woman I will be able to hit 129.8 or less this coming up Friday. I'll work 2 nights, tonight and tomorrow night and then I am off again. As far as I know my Mom's surgery is Friday the 22nd- I have been praying like mad for her.

Ok, I'm gonna go I've gotta get in the shower and get ready, I have a feeling they are gonna call me in early tonight.

((HUGS)) to all

~Tink~

Comments(2)

TGIS??? What happened to TGIF??

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:09:13

TGIS?

*LOL* Well, I missed out on the TGIF didn't I? I did weigh Friday morning when I got home from work at 7:15 (I live 9 miles from the hospital so I get home pretty quick) but when I got home I was BEAT! But anyways, after I got home, I made sure my bladder was empty and then I weighed "Au natural" and I was 131.2 ! YAY!! I am 1.2 from being 130 again and I'm just thinking that I can actually be 130.0 or LESS in the next 3 days or so... Since I weigh every morning anyways I'm gonna take a pic and post it the day I get under 130, even if it's not a Friday. I just want to hit 129.8 and then I'm gonna take it and run with it from there!!

After I weighed Friday morning when I got home I showered, and then I cooked my son some eggs and waffles and then I walked my dogs real quick and then I had every intention of sitting down and putting up a posts, but that didn't happen, I got in bed @ 8:30 & I was out by 8:40, I remember looking at the clock with my eyes rolling back in my head @ 8:35 and that was the last thing I remember. Then I got back up 3 and a half hours later took another shower (because my dogs sleep with me and they don't smell bad or anything, but I am just weird like that) got ready and I took my mom for pre-testing which took 5 hours!

OH.- MY.- GOD.

She and I both thought it was gonna be about an hour or so for the pre-testing, but It was a lot longer than that -thank God one of my supervisors called my cell phone and told me not to come in on Friday night, that I should come in on Saturday and Sunday (which I was already down for working those 2 days anyway) @ my regular time (11:00 p.m. -7:00 a.m.) So I lucked up having last night off and it's a good thing, I was beat from only sleeping a little while and then sitting in a hospital for 5 hours.

I have been eating so much fruit, it's a wonder I'm not a white seedless grape or maybe a watermelon or cantaloupe, pineapple or even an apple. I think that's what's helping my weight and plus I walk a LOT every night @ work. I've gotta work on my water intake, I don't know why it's been so hard for me to get it all in. I use to do it with no problem, now, I'm lucky if I get 5 or 6 glasses in a day. I'm trying though...

So I work tonight, my dogs woke me up @ 11:00 this morning and I just went ahead and stayed up, my husband and son are out back putting up insulation for my mom in her "cottage" because the air from the air conditioner is escaping through the walls and it's hot in there even when she has the air going full blast. This will help keep the air in there.. Also, I think my husband and son are going to start wiring up her "cottage" tomorrow. She bought the wiring back when we all got our taxes back and my husband is just now having the time to do it. I don't want her to be burning up out there and neither do they. She doesn't have her surgery until Friday the 22nd @ 10:00 a.m. and he told me today that they will be done wiring it by then and that we'll put in another air conditioner for her so she'll have 2. So that makes me feel better. I want her to be as comfortable as possible after she has surgery.

I'm gonna go for now, I've gotta get my uniforms washed and I'm going to clean up the kitchen, then I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, I'm just going to wing it. If I have the time I'm going to come back on here later when I am finished with all of the things I have to do around the house and I'm going to catch up with you Alexia, Beaang, LaurenHur, ... you all know who you are LOL I miss checking up on you and everyone else. I just feel I am always rushing and running. I'm supposed to be off Monday and Tuesday, and if I am, I'm going to check up on you all! ((****That is if I don't get a chance to check up on you all today****))

I hope everyone is having a great Saturday afternoon! I work this weekend, but I am off next weekend- YAY for me !

((HUGS))

~Tink~

Comments(4)

Lunch and Shoe pics and Other stuff too :o)

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:07:19

Good evening everyone! I hope that you are all having a great Thursday! I'm excited about Friday's WI but since I'm working this weekend I'm not excited that tomorrow is "just" a Friday like I use to be over it.

I get every other weekend off. And this weekend is not it. <SIGH> Oh well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right? But I will be excited about next Friday I am off Fri. Sat. & Sun. (YAY!)

So I had a great night @ work last night. They called me in early at 8:30 p.m.- We only had 1 stat room and no labor and delivery rooms and no O.R. rooms- we helped out in the E.R. and cleaned the main lobby and all that good stuff. We worked hard, but it was nothing- nothing like Monday night. Monday night was CRAZY and we worked like we were fighting fire. I think that's helping me burn a lot of calories off.

My training is going good. I am still learning all of the little things, but I am getting it and I even did 2 rooms all by myself last night and I did really good if I say so myself.

We had a couple of rooms last night in isolation where we had to wear masks, safety surgical gowns, hair covers, booties on over our shoes, gloves (we ALWAYS wear gloves no matter what & I always wear booties to keep my shoes clean) and safety goggles. It was pretty intense and I loved it. I felt like I was in a Si-Fi movie being dressed the way I was! HA-HA (sounding like Nelson on the Simpsons)

I have been taking fruit and light string cheese for my lunch, I've added a pic to my EP album of my lunch just in case any of you are curious. And also a pic of the shoes I finally decided on, I wore them last night and my feet didn't hurt at all this morning when I got off from work. I was so happy and thankful for that. I eat fruit every night I work and I feel so good about that. The women I work with eat cookies and candy bars- I bring enough fresh fruit and light cheese to share, I always ask them if they would like some. They always thank me but decline and eat even more junk, and they wonder why they are so tired each morning.

I'm going to get dinner started now and I am making a low fat / low cal dessert for dinner, it's fast to prepare, but takes 3 hours to freeze, so I've gotta get started. If it turns out good I'll post a pic of it.

I'm still not drinking my water like I'm supposed to be, I'm gonna try really hard today and tonight to get in at least 100 0z. That's not really a whole lot when you really look at it. It sounds like it's a lot of water but I don't think it really is.

Ok, I've gotta run and get dinner going. I'll update in the morning with my WI results, I'm feeling pretty darn good about what they could be! I hope that you are all having a great day!

(Tomorrow I take my mom for pretesting) I'll let you know how it goes.

((HUGS))

~Tink~

Comments(4)

It's like I fell off the grid huh?

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:06:07

Hey there everyone, I guess it seems like I just fell off the grid huh? Man oh man, I am so, so very sorry I'm just now getting a second to update you all. There's just been so much going on this past week and I have been so busy and overloaded.

The good news is I started my job and I've lost 3 of the 5.6 pounds I had gained last week. I'm, hoping in the next 2 days that number will drop even more for a nice Friday weigh in!

I feel so bad, I haven't even been on the internet in the last 3 days. I started my job Monday night @ 9:00 p.m. and I worked my butt off until 7:00 am Tuedays morning- then I came home, showered changed clothes and then I had to be back at the hospital for phase 2 of orientation at 10:30 a.m. and it lasted until 4:30 p.m. So that means I was up for well over 24 hours with no sleep because I got up at 5:00 a.m. Monday morning worked Monday night - came home and then went back for 6 more hours of orientation and then I came home and I cooked and cleaned and I finally went to bed last night at 7:30. I was wore out!

My mom has pretesting this Friday on the 8th and she has her actual surgery on Friday the 22nd. I'm hoping everything will be just fine and that the surgery and the radiation will kill the cancer cells and that she'll be caner free for the rest of her life. I have been praying a lot for her and I feel that everything is gonna be fine.

I tell you what, I'm thinking about investing in a good pedometer. I'm curious as to how far I walk on a nightly basis. If I had to make an educated guess I'd say either 3 or 4 miles a night, but I'd like to know for sure.

I love my new job, it's graphic, messy and I have never worked so hard in all of my life. This is by far the toughest job I've ever had- and I LOVE it. I'm never in the smae place for too long before our pagers go off and we are off to another wing in the hospital. It's wild and crazy and we are always on the go.

Today I have to take my MIL to a vision specialist, she seems to think they can help her. I'm hoping they can, but I'm not holding my breath. So I've gotta hop in the shower and get ready. I don't work until 11:00 p.m. tonight and I'm glad. I have a few things I want to get done around here. The first night I worked I took fruit for my lunch and I LOVED it. I bought a cantaloupe, apples, and white seedless grapes and I took a big container of it, I ate half of it and it was really good. I have been eating very "on plan" and I've just got to increase my water intake. I have been living off diet caffinated drinks while I was at work (AKA - Diet Dr Pepper)*LOL

So I'm gonna make a conscious effort to drink more water. I am not sure when I'll be able to check up on all of y'all but I am gonna TRY to do it today when I get back. I don't have an off day until this coming Monday and Tuesday, and I don't think I can wait that long to see how you all are doing.

I miss you all so much, I hope you are all doing ok, and losing that weight! I hope each and every single one of you has a great day today!

((HUGS))

~Tink~

Comments(3)

TGIF!! Weigh in Results and 3 New pics

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:01:13

TGIF everyone! I don't have but a minute to update but I'll TRY to update again tonight once all of my running is done. We leave for my Mom's doctor appointment in a few minutes so I have to make this quick!

Weight- I gained from 130.0 to what I weighed this morning which was 135.6 - so I had a 5.6 pound GAIN.

But I can't really act surprised- I knew what I was doing when I was doing it and I didn't care at the time. I care very much now.

I can't say I'm shocked at all, and I'm SURE if I would have weighed the other day it would have been a much higher number. But all of you who left comments are right, the binge is over so move on, and that's exactly what I have done.

So I plan on getting this 5.6 pounds I gained off in 2 weeks. That's the plan anyway. Hopefully my job that I start Mondaty night @ 9:00 will help me work some or most all of it off!

I'll have to fill you all in on everything that's happened and happening. My mom and I have to drive to downtown from here, it's not far at all but traffic can be a little heavy at this time. So I've gotta run for now.

I've added 3 new pics to my EP album and I thought you all might like to see them.

I promise I'm gonna TRY to update again tonight sometimes, but it may be in the morning or even tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon before I actually have a chance to sit down.

I hope each and every single one of you have a great Friday! Thank yu for all that has sent me comments and private E-mails about my Mom. I really, really appreciate it and all of the prayers your praying for her!!

TGIF, let's all rock the weekend and get back on track and think good positive thoughts about everything in our own personal lives!

~Tink~

Comments(3)

Too scared

Monday, December 4, 2006 21:00:11

I'm too scared to get on the scales. I did something this weekend I haven't done in a long time. I binged and I drank... a lot. So I think I'm gonna skip the scales until Friday. Hopefully all the damage I know I done will be lessened by then. Hopefully.

Well my mom was supposed to have breast surgery Friday @ 1:45, but now we aren't sure what's going on. The nurse called yesterday and said the doctor wanted to look at more X-ray panels and talk with my mom.

I haven't done either of those on that magnitude in a long time. I think I was using the excuse that it was a holiday weekend, coupled with the fact that I'm under a tremendous amount of stress with all that's going on here. I've been too scared to even step foot on the scale. But if I had to guess it'd be up at least 9 pounds, and I'm not exaggerating. I wish I was.

But I know that when I use to drink beer a lot I could hold on to all that water weight gain and it is depressing,-- not to mention I ate enough food this weekend to feed a small village in a 3rd world country for a couple of days... But I'm just gonna stay away from the scales until Friday and see how much damage I've still got to undo.

I've posted a couple of new pics in my EP photo album, the one in the white capri pants is what I wore to the registration/orientation. I took a pic of the label on the pants, they say a size 4 but I'm not buying that, I think it's vanity sizing because there's no way in hell my ass fits into a 4. So I'm not excited about the number at all, I feel like it's a lie- and now that I think about it I don't think my Levi jeans that are labeled a 5 is really a 5 either. I think I'm more like a size 8 or 10 in real life clothes. Just thought I'd share that with y'all.

If my criminal background check gets back by Thursday or Friday I should start work Monday night on the 4th. I'm glad, I need to keep busy and get my big ass moving again.

Ok y'all that's it for now. I'm not in a real talkative mood today, and I'm not really feeling all that great. I've got an eye appointment today @ 2;00 and I'll hopefully be able to pick out some new glasses I like. I always wear contacts unless I'm staying at home. So I'll try an holler at y'uns later. I hope you are all having a great day.

~Tink~

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