09/14/2010 01:24
facing reality
So I decided it was in my best interest to take full body shots for my almost starting point. I'm sure everyone who is overweight hates taking pictures too. I figure since I really am in this for the long run and forever I might as well be able to have a starting point. So two days ago I took some full front, side, and an ass shot (for my husband).
I sucked it up and don't like the pics, but hopefully it will look different soon.
09/11/2010 06:40
Back to work
Today was my first day back to work after 3 months on maternity leave. I thought the 8 hour shift on my feet would be a killer, but it has been okay. The phentermine definitely is utilized on my work days.
Wouldn't you know that when I come back...pumpkin scones are back along with a new toffee mocha drink. ( i work at starbucks)
Man those things looked good, but I didn't touch it.
09/09/2010 18:23
down the road
I've come to the realization that I will want a full body lift when I finally reach my goal weight. I realized this for quite some time now, but it was more apparent the months before my wedding. Trying to find a dress with sleeves is very difficult especially one that looks good for someone who is plus size.
I think what I've put my body through...losing so much weight a couple times has definitely taken its toll. Even when I am down to a mid weight for me I have so much lose skin. It is quite heart breaking to see pictures. My face always looks skinny, but my body always kind of just looks like it is hanging.
It is a scary truth that even after all my hard work of losing 120lbs I will still have more work to do in order to have the body I have always wanted, and never had.
I don't want to bring myself down so right now I am just focusing on being healthy and being active. I just have to keep reminding myself that I feel better every day. I feel healthier, stronger, more vibrant.
So what if I will have to have probably 30lbs of skin! So what if I have to have surgery!
09/08/2010 00:56
Aloha from Hawaii
Aloha Everyone,
Today is Tuesday, the 7th of September. (I dunno what is up with the date being wrong on my blog). Anywhooos.
A little about myself. I am originally from Hawaii. I have struggled with my weight ever since I can remember. This is the highest weight I have been in my life. I just gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, Riesling. It has been about 2 months and I am slowly starting to eat healthy and get my butt moving. She was such an addition to my family. She added a whole 60 lbs to my frame :) and I was already a good 50 lbs overweight. Like I said I have struggled with my weight many times before. I have gotten down to 160 before (my lightest) and usually hover between 180 and 215lbs.
Along the way I have made a few discoveries. One, I must really work at it to keep the poundage off. Two, my body works best with "lifestyle changes" such as the south beach diet. Three, I actually love working out...it makes me feel strong. Lastly, I'm tired of having to lose such an extreme amount of weight. I am determined to make this the last time I have such a grand goal.
With that being said, I decided I needed a little help in the beginning. Along with starting the south beach diet I also started my prescription for phentermine 6 days ago. I have used it once before during the months before my wedding. This time I sought it out for different reasons. Gaining so much weight along with not working out put a lot of stress on my body. My knees started hurting and I threw out my back. I knew if I could just get some of this off of me I would feel better.
So here starts my weight loss battle...for the last time. I feel good about this because I'm married with child. I don't have anyone to do it for, but my family and myself. The reasons before have always been so superficial...I want to look good for prom, I want to look good for my wedding, I haven't seen my cute boy for awhile so when he sees me after a summer of losing 30lbs he will be wowed. This time it is because I want it to be permanent. I want to be healthy and alive. I want to do active things for my baby. Most importantly I want to be a good example for her.
