I am soooo ASHAMED!!
I can not believe that I have not written in over a week!!! I have checked in quite a few times but I just haven't felt very inspired. I have been very lazy about writing my feelings down. I have been having a hard time sleeping at night. I wake up about 3 times and I am craving FOOD!!! And I end up eating FOOD!!! I do great all day then I go to bed and EAT!!! I am up 2 lbs now. Not a bad thing but not a good thing. I bought some Fiber tablets to chew. When I get my cravings I am going to eat 2 tablets and hopefully that will give me a full feeling. Plus they taste kinda good. Sorta.
Tomorrow night I am going to go to the car races. I got asked out by a person. Not on a date...of course...since I am still married. But just an outing with adults..no children..no stress..no problems...and a little fun. I am really looking forward to just getting out...I think the phen is making me cranky. I have been very irritable with my kids lately. I have been really pissy at work. So, a little fun will do me some good. Maybe it will get me back on track with losing weight.
I haven't really heard from my disappearing husband. I hadn't reaceived any email from him in weeks...then he calls my work on wednesday..when he asked to talk to me he told my co worker.."is my better half there"...is that just crazy or what???? he leaves me physically, then emotionally, then financially, and then asks for his better half!!!!!!!!!! so friggin crazy!!!!!!! he wanted to just "hear my voice". WHATEVER!!!!!!! I think I am actually ok now. not really but time does heal.
Ok...new goals. Stay focused. no more eating past 8pm. no matter WHAT!!! I need to set some short term rewards as well...i will do that next time as i am falling asleep..... good night.