11/14/2009 17:41
mixed emotions
Well I ALMOST did well--my friend and I had a night out to dinner and drinks. I ordered one of those individual pizzas but--drumroll, please--only ate HALF and asked the waitress to box the other half! I didn't drink that much, either.
But then we walked back to my apartment, and I drank some more. And then when my friend left I ate the other half of my meal anyway! Foiled by alcohol again! So of course my stomach didn't feel well because I ate more than I was used to.
I also felt like crap about the photoshoot...I looked pretty terrible in the pictures, too. I posted one, but here's the link to see the rest:
I just get so down about the way I look. I also psych myself out from losing weight because I think even if I work this hard to lose weight, I'm not going to be pretty after I do it either, so why bother? To add to it, yesterday a student was pissed and made a comment about my weight. I was so angry I kept her after class and yelled at her. Maybe overreacted a bit, but I was sick of her comments. I doubt it will do anything, though.
I wish I wasn't in such public professions where I'm always in front of kids or ending up in pictures online and whatnot. I should go into hiding, lose 70 pounds, then come out again. Alas, if only we could do that!
Posted By: khad
11/14/2009 08:20
losing weight
i think it would be hard being in the public light alot, no matter what your weight is.
Why do you want to lose weight? To look pretty or feel better? Personally, I want more mobility, I want to FEEL better about myself as well as be able to bend over and tie my own shoes. That to me is worth it, in and of itself.
being pretty is great, but i'd rather be beautiful on the inside, then the outside, as we all grow old, external beauty fades, internal beauty blossoms
don't compare yourselves to others, and do what is right and FEELS good for YOU. do you still know what that is? it's tough being a bit lost, but I have faith in you, so should you. :)
11/14/2009 11:59
:(
((hugs))
Why do you think you will not be pretty?
Why don't you lose the weight and see :)
11/15/2009 06:33
...
you really don't look as bad as you think you do. I know that you feel you look bad, but you really don't.
(((hugs)))
11/15/2009 07:22
...
Well I think your pretty now
I've told you that before... so why would losing weight change that? photo of anyone even 130lbder sat down face on to a camera especially with a violin under their chin is NOT going to look like a skinny minni... and I don't think you look overweight in your pictures with you sat down if that was me I'd have rolls and rolls... stop beating yourself up and start loving yourself more... cause YOU ARE WORTH IT!
11/15/2009 09:35
..
First of all, you have really beautiful green eyes and a GORGEOUS complexion (something i WISH i had!) so don't even go there and say that you are not pretty because you are! and obviously talented and smart too, so don't give up on self improvement, because you are worth it :) Don't lose sight of your goals and it is totally normal to feel this way sometimes, but don't let it hold you back.
11/16/2009 10:46
...
(((hugs)))
Sounds like a bitter-sweet night out.
xx
