11/20/2009 04:57
Here I am...
....rock you like a hurricane!
(sorry couldn't resist!)
Hope all you lovely ladies have been having a great week--I'll catch up with ya'll tomorrow; this week's been hell and I'm going to sleep. Going to see my doctor tomorrow for his take on my eating...issues. I'm interested in seeing what he says.
Have a great Friday!
11/15/2009 21:43
okay
I'm really sorry for posting about being so down on myself. I appreciate all the comments and advice, and you all are right. There's no need to think like that. It's just that I've thought that way ever since I can remember, so it's hard to get out of that mindset! I'll write again tomorrow when I'm feeling better.
Thanks again, and cheers!
11/14/2009 17:41
mixed emotions
Well I ALMOST did well--my friend and I had a night out to dinner and drinks. I ordered one of those individual pizzas but--drumroll, please--only ate HALF and asked the waitress to box the other half! I didn't drink that much, either.
But then we walked back to my apartment, and I drank some more. And then when my friend left I ate the other half of my meal anyway! Foiled by alcohol again! So of course my stomach didn't feel well because I ate more than I was used to.
I also felt like crap about the photoshoot...I looked pretty terrible in the pictures, too. I posted one, but here's the link to see the rest:
I just get so down about the way I look. I also psych myself out from losing weight because I think even if I work this hard to lose weight, I'm not going to be pretty after I do it either, so why bother? To add to it, yesterday a student was pissed and made a comment about my weight. I was so angry I kept her after class and yelled at her. Maybe overreacted a bit, but I was sick of her comments. I doubt it will do anything, though.
I wish I wasn't in such public professions where I'm always in front of kids or ending up in pictures online and whatnot. I should go into hiding, lose 70 pounds, then come out again. Alas, if only we could do that!
11/13/2009 14:15
noooooooooo
So I gained 1 pound...don't know why, I've been eating fine! C'est la vie.
My one thing I've been bad about still is EXERCISING! The good news is I'm up and on my feet all the time doing my job. The bad news is that this isn't enough. The 10k training team that I do every year doesn't start until January, so I need something to do until then. Maybe this will speed up the weight loss. Spinning is hell; I'm sorry, I just cannot do it.
Last night I spent $70 at Victoria's Secret, and it was nice to get an L instead of an XL in undies, since if you've noticed the nice ones only go up to L in the first place. It's funny, because I don't dress well by any means, but my underwear is always fabulous...hehehe. Like my mom said, "you always need to make sure you have good underwear on in case you need to be taken away in an ambulance!"
Well, she also said things like "Don't put your license in your pocket--only criminals do that." Oh and, "where are my grandchildren."
11/12/2009 22:15
yesssss
YESSSS....chance to relax. They kicked all the kids out of school after 4 p.m. (no night school, after-school tutoring, practices, or anything), which is some blessed silence for me to do my work in for once in my life. They said it was because of bad weather, but I'm suspicious.
Anyway eating going great...gotta run!
11/11/2009 16:49
11.5
...is the hours of SLEEP I got last night! I've been exhausted, so it was just what the doctor ordered!
Eating has still been going well. I'm avoiding weighing myself until the weigh-in though. I made a GIANT sacrifice last night--I had Chipotle, but I got GREEN PEPPERS instead of BEANS and SALSA instead of SOUR CREAM! This was an extremely big step for me...hehe. And right now I'm eating actual FRUIT. Crazy. All this good eating has indeed made me feel better overall.
Interestingly, I swear it also makes my skin and hair better. Has anyone else noticed that?
Have a great day!
11/10/2009 16:45
yay
I've been making excellent food choices these past couple days--yay! I almost broke last night but kept FOCUSED. I really need to keep my eye on the prize (currently, being under 200 lbs) and see this as my #1 PRIORITY right now. Seriously, #1, because if I don't get healthy, I am hampering the rest of my life too, right? So I need to not let anything get in the way--work, stress, performing, being all down on myself, etc. I'm a registered overacheiver anyway, so even if I have to cut back on other things to focus on myself I'll still be fine.
The show last night went awesome. We had some very...enthusiastic audience members, which I LOVE. At the show the night before last they had a professional photographer for us, and I'm anxious for the pictures to be posted online so I can see how I look! Seeing how other bands have been photographed by them in the past, there are a LOT of close-ups. Yikes.
Cheers!
11/09/2009 16:50
Monday, Monday
Have my healthy lunch PACKED and actually WITH me this time.
There will be cake served at lunch today. I'm thinking about having a small piece, because when they offer and I refuse I end up getting depressed about it and going home and eating a whole cake...haha. I know, I don't make sense.
The show last night went excellently. As suspected, I was the least cool person there. Someone got offended when I said I usually avoid this block because hipsters make me nervous. I offended someone else when I said I guess I didn't get the memo that I was supposed to wear a plaid shirt. I really need to stop making these jokes. Or I could just cover it up by saying it's my low self-esteem talking. Or people could get an actual sense of humor.
Hope everyone is having a great Monday!
11/07/2009 16:34
Saturday and at work, as usual
Homecoming last night was awesome. We won, of course
Despite the freezing temps, everyone was excited. Even though I don't understand a THING about football, I always enjoy the experience when it's my kids out there.
The magazine article came out the other day, and I found out they're not published online, so you'll just have to imagine it...haha. My first thought was, wow, I don't look as heavy as I thought I would!
I keep thinking what I came up with the other day as my mantra: everything I'm doing should be to take care of my body, since it takes such good care of me. I'm really finding that if I think THAT, it makes me care. It really does. I'm so happy I finally found something attached to losing weight that actually makes me care fully, when I've always only half-cared before.
I'm here at work today from 7 a.m.-5 p.m. proctoring a state exam, so I'm sitting here in silence grading as a "hall monitor" this morning and then actually proctoring a test this afternoon for 5 hours, and we aren't allowed to use our computers, so I'm getting my blogging done now! Then I have two shows two nights in a row (both beginning at 10 pm) so there's going to be some exhaustion this week. It will be a challenge to eat well during that, but I will! I REALLY want to see some pounds lost when I weigh in this coming Friday.
Have a great Saturday!
