I missed blogging yesterday. It wasn't on purpose...seriously. It was purely coincidence that it coincided with a huge cheat day...really! What do you mean you don't believe me?
Not only did I eat. I ate cooked foods. Not only did I eat cooked foods, I ate cooked foods that are bad for me. Not only did I eat cooked foods that are bad for me, I ate a lot of them. Not only did I eat a lot of them, but I gained a bunch of weight. Ugh. What do you mean mac and cheese isn't good for you? It's organic! Organic means healthy, right? lol
Weight Watchers this morning. Apparently their scale is different than my scale. Boo. Down 5.6 pounds from last week. Good enough for a nifty little five pound sticker on my perfect attendance bookmark, but not good enough to make me happy. I really need to get my kitchen ready and stocked. What I really need is my dang stimulus check to come in so I can actually go grocery shopping. lol That's my biggest obstacle right now. I just don't have the money to restock my fridge, so I'm stuck either not eating, or eating what we have on hand, which just isn't very good for you. It doesn't follow the raw diet or the weight watchers diet, so I'm screwed either way. *sigh* My kids are happy though. lol
So, last night, to appease my husband...who was VERY concerned for my health, I ate. Then I felt sick. All night I just wanted to throw up. It was AWFUL. This morning, I woke up, with the same alertness I've had for the past couple of days (which is HIGHLY unusual for me lol) but by 11 o'clock, I was so tired, I couldn't even keep my eyes open. I stuck my kids at the foot of my bed, watching a movie, and I took a nap. When my alarm woke me at noon, I didn't feel rested at all. I just wanted to keep sleeping. Sadly, I had to pick my son up from school, so that wasn't an option.
After my numerous posts yesterday, I decided to just keep a little notebook with my thoughts throughout the day so I can put them all in one post. Yesterday, my notebook said this:
serenity
holy basil
upcoming food
organic spring mix earthbound farms Costco
celery for salt
not hungry
4 pm tired
sleep time
waking
So serenity: I've been unusually peaceful lately. I wouldn't say I'm incredibly happy, just peaceful. I don't feel on edge all the time. I don't feel so stressed out. I'm calm. This has only been since the day or so after I started the fast, so it could be one of four things:
A total coincidence
Giving up caffeine
Fasting
Holy basil
That, of course, leads me to my next thought on paper...Holy Basil. I got an ad for Jimbos Naturally (my favorite health food store around here) and it mentioned Holy Basil. It said, "Holy Basil liquid veggie caps or drops is a great stress modulator, cortisol, epinepherine and dopamine balancer for daily stress, anxiety, depression and is a COX-2 (anti inflammatory) inhibiting herb suited to 21st century hectic lifestyles." So, I thought, "what the heck" and bought some. For some time now I've been feeling as though my mind just wasn't where I wanted it to be. (No comments from the peanut gallery!) I get angry with my kids very easily. I snap at my DH for no apparent reason. I've just been a stressed out, very unhappy person. It has gotten to the point where I keep thinking that I need to make an appointment to see my doctor and get on some type of happy pills. So, going a more natural route sounded like a good idea.
I mentioned yesterday that I got dizzy and light headed suddenly. That actually happened shortly after I took the Holy Basil pills, so it very well may have been caused by them, rather than the fast. I don't know. I'll see how I feel after I take them again. Actually...give me a second and I'll take them right now...
...
...
...
There...down the hatch!
Taking these supplements is actually not religiously following the fast though, as you're not supposed to take any kind of supplement while fasting. I've never been a very patient person though and waiting until after the fast to take them just wasn't a very happy thought for me. lol However, taking these, fasting and giving up coffee all at the same time has made it nearly impossible to figure out what to attribute most of the positive outcomes to. Honestly, I'm mostly attributing it to giving up coffee. That's some nasty stuff that can do terrible things to your body! It sure is yummy though!
Upcoming food: As I was thinking of breaking my fast (before I broke it to relieve the stress it was causing my husband) I was thinking about what kinds of food I want to put in my body after I was done fasthing. Well, you know, besides tons and tons and TONS of french fries and sourdough chicken clubs and nachos supreme and...and..and....oh wait...where was I? Seriously though, I know I'm going to do 30 days raw. I'm actually EXCITED about it. Is that strange? I feel like this is an opportunity to challenge myself to do something, know that I'm only going to do it for 30 days, so I know I CAN do it, but hopefully after the 30 days, realize this is something I want to continue. I truly hope to make an entire lifestyle change with this. I don't imagine the challenge is going to be easy. I'm still going to have to cook my family their regular meals, then make something entirely seperate for myself (except on "raw Wednesday." However, I can do anything for 30 days. I'm hoping by day 30, it will have just become habit and something I will just continue because after trying diet after diet, after diet and reading SO MANY diet books, medical studies, diet blogs, etc., I truly feel as though I've found "the one." The one that is healthy. The one that is good for not only myself, but the planet. The one that is sustainable. The one that just makes sense to me. The question is, can I truly stop viewing food as something I do when I'm bored, something fun I share with my husband, something to make me happy, and start viewing it as something to fuel my body, something to give me energy, something to make me feel good, but in a completely different way than I was using it before?
The other night, we went to Jimbos (there it is again! lol) as a family. Drake bought an organic rootbeer. As he got into the car, he opened it up and happily exclaimed, "I got this for us to share!" then his face dropped and he got a sad look on his face when he realized that I couldn't drink it...that I was fasting, and even if I wasn't fasting, it wasn't something that was on my "diet" anyways. He asked me, "How am I going to make you happy? This was like our thing. We always share little goodies together." I exclaimed, "AND LOOK WHERE IT HAS GOTTEN ME!!!" It truly was "our thing." After the kids go to bed, we love to pull out brie and crackers or icecream, or whatever, and just share it and be happy. No wonder I'm a fatass. LOL Yeah, let's sit in bed, watch a movie and eat icecream...really healthy!
Organic spring mix from Costco: That was just a note to myself to remember that Costco carries organic stuff as well and to go there to pick up that particular spring mix because Jimbos can be dang expensive at times...especially compared to Costco. Although, one of the things I LOVE LOVE LOVE about Jimbos is that they have a TON of LOCAL produce. I think it's important to support local businesses and local farmers. Jimbos does that and I think that's awesome. I also really need to start going back to the farmer's market every Saturday. I think my Saturday mornings will go something like this:
6:30: Weight Watchers meeting
7:45: Breakfast
8:30: Farmer's Market
9:30: Take kids to tae kwon do
Ethan is actually starting tae kwon do in a couple of weeks. His class is going to be at 9 am, so I won't be able to go back to the farmer's market until that session is over and he moves up, starting class at 9:45...unless I can convince Drake to take all of the kids but Allie to tae kwon do and I can go to the farmer's market after I drop them off. I like that idea even better!
Celery for salt: I was reading a raw food blog yesterday and they were talking about how they don't use any salt in their diet. I know that table salt is just HORRIBLE for you (but man, does it taste good!) so I knew that was out (I cut table salt out of my family's diet a LONG time ago) but I've always used sea salt on our food. This blog mentioned how after going raw and eating a TON of fruit (this guy was almost a fruititarian...he ate very few vegetables and just the tiniest bit of seeds and nuts) celery started tasting salty to him. He then mentioned that some people like to dehydrate celery, grind it up in a coffee grinder, and use it for salt. I thought that was really interesting. If I had a dehydrator, I'd totally try it. I've seen celery salt in the grocery store, but always assumed that it was just dried ground celery with salt and thought that sounded really stupid, so I never gave it a second glance. I wonder if it's actually just ground celery. I'll have to check into that one day.
Not hungry: (Man, this entry is getting long...and really boring. I'm almost boring myself writing it. I can't imagine the poor shmuck reading this ;) ) Yeah, okay, so I wasn't finding myself hungry at all...until I smelled food. Then I felt hungry, but not my usual hunger. It was actually a gnawing feeling in my chest and a strange feeling in my mouth...weird.
Around 4 pm I got really tired yesterday. Yeah, that was that. lol
I've been going to sleep at a reasonable time lately, which is a HUGE change for me. Usually I'm wide awake until at least one or two in the morning. Now I can barely keep my eyes open past 10. I stayed up watching a movie until midnight the other night and had to FORCE myself to stay awake.
I've been waking up VERY alert the past couple of days. I wake up alert, happy and just ready to get up out of bed and get things done. I can honestly say this is a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE change for me. Usually, when I wake up, the thought of getting out of bed makes me want to cry. I'm just SO tired. Even a while after I'm up and out of bed, I'm so sluggish and ridiculously tired. Lately though, it's straight out of bed, getting things done. It's very strange I LOVE it though! No coffee or no food...I don't know, nor do I care. I just want to keep it up! This morning, I was sitting in bed next to Drake, waiting for him to wake up, so to wake him up, I just kissed him and hugged him and told him good morning. Hee opened his eyes, looked at me, and told me that the change in my mood in the morning has been SO dramatic and so wonderful and he just loved it. He told me (yes, TMI, but whatever) "Next thing, you're going to start telling me you want to have sex in the morning!" (SO not happening...I'm NEVER in the mood in the morning. lol) I wasn't sure if he had noticed the same difference I have noticed, but apparently he has, so it's obviously not a subtle change!
So, there are my notes from yesterday.
As for today, I'm feeling better than i was last night, that's for sure. I don't think I'm going to eat today. Food and I aren't the best of friends right now. lol I have promised Drake to look into other methods of detox though because I know he is very concerned about this fast. For now though, I think I'll just stick to this for a couple more days until I can get my kitchen stocked with the foods I will be eating so it's easier to stick to the raw diet than just go out and grab something.
Oooh...headache coming on. I think it's just because I haven't had enough to drink today though. :)
Okay, yes...three posts in one day is a bit excessive. However, I just had a bout of dizziness. This is something I never experience, so I thought it worth noting, should anyone find this blog while researching the lemonade diet. I wasn't walking around or anything. I was just sitting here at the computer, and all of a sudden I got really lightheaded and dizzy. Very strange.
So, last night I got the "Smoothe Move" (What a terrible name!) tea from Jimbos. (What an incredible store!) I saw that they had chocolate Smoothe Move tea. To me, that just screams that the regular tea is gross, so they had to offer an alternative. It has some carob and other stuff in it. So, I picked that up as well. Well, my idea was to mix my tea (because I'm not a huge fan of tea in the first place) with my lemonade, since I usually add honey and lemon to my tea as it is. I made the chocolate tea. I mixed it with the lemonade. OMG, that was NASTY!!!!!!!!! NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER mix chocolate smoothe move tea with lemonade. NEVER!!!!! Seriously...SO GROSS! Ewwwwww. It might have been okay plain, but EWWWWWWWWWWW. Tonight I'm going to try the regular one in my lemonade. Tomorrow I'm going to try the chocolate plain. My goodness, I hope it's better!
So, beginning of day three. I don't feel any different. I don't feel hungry. I've noticed that I've been going to bed a lot earlier and not feeling like complete crap when I wake up in the morning, but I really attribute that to giving up caffeine rather than giving up food because...well, food gives you energy, not lack of food. lol
I've been asked by my husband to not fast for more than a week. He's really concerned for my health. He, completely seriously, asked me last night, "Do you love me?" after my usual response of, "Of course I do," he said, "Then please don't do this. I'm not going to ask you to not do it at all because I want you to be able to at least try whatever in the world you want to, but I'm asking you to please not do it for more than a week because I'm very concerned for you." How could I not tell him okay? So, one week instead of two...not as good as I had wanted, but still acceptable. When my kids found out last night that I'm fasting, Caitlin told me she was going to feed me in my sleep. lol Emma took the, "Mmmmmmm, this hamburger sure is tasty, are you sure you don't want some, Mom?" route. lol They're all concerned as well. I absolutely DO NOT want to pass my food and weight issues onto my children. It's one of my biggest fears in life. So, I'm actually contemplating stopping the fast today or tomorrow just because I don't want my children seeing such a yo yo of extremes when it comes to weight loss.
Did I mention that the lemonade gives me terrible heartburn? Blech. I've read that it could be caused by unripe lemons, but my lemons are awesome! They come from a local organic farm and are just yummy. I think it's the cayenne. Oooh, speaking of the cayenne, I had some on my finger the other day, then rubbed my eye. That was TONS of fun. Oh man, you should have seen me jumping around like a mad woman, screaming, tears running down my face. It was quite a sight! I'm just glad no one was around to witness it.
Stepped on the scale again today. (I REALLY need to stay off of that thing! PUT IT AWAY ALREADY!!!!) I'm down 13 pounds from Saturday. Hmmmm...it's only Wednesday. That's probably not too healthy. I figure I'll gain it back when I start eating again anyways. I'm really not doing this fast for weightloss. I'm doing it to get as much of the nastiness that my current diet has put in my body. The weightloss is kinda nice though, I won't lie.
Yesterday, while in the car, I told my kids we wouldn't be having candy anymore. They were upset, but okay with it. I told them we wouldn't be having fast food anymore. They were upset, but okay with it. I told them we wouldn't be having Wings 'n Things anymore and this was the response I got:
I don't know why the sound isn't working. :( He has such a cute "sad" cry. lol In the background, at the beginning, you can see the little one in the back crying as well. LOL
Good morning! Day 2 is here. My stomach growled this morning, but I don't feel hungry. One of my concerns about this fast is that my sense of hunger is already so screwy that I have a difficult time figuring out if I'm hungry or not. I'm worried this may mess that up even more.
Absolutely no more caffeine withdrawl headaches, which is really nice. I wasn't a very pleasant person for those first couple of days...just ask my husband. Better yet, don't. I don't want to bring that up with him again. lol
I cheated and stepped on the scale last night. I don't know how my scale compares to the weight watchers scale, but if they're the same, I've lost seven pounds. I realize that's all water weight, but it's nice to see the numbers on the scale go down. I'm really trying to stay off of the scale until Saturday, but it's difficult. I think I should just put my scale away so it's not so tempting.
Friends and Families is starting up another "Biggest Loser" contest. on their message boards. (Yes, that's a plug...I'm an admin there lol) I'm TOTALLY going to win this one! I gained thirty pounds during the last one. Raise of hands of those who think I won that one? Yeah...didn't think so.
I feel like I should be entertaining you with this blog. Why else would you come back and read it again? Well, unless you're curious to see how weak and crazy I am after not eating for two weeks. That might be entertaining.
Okay, so I didn't start my fast yesterday because...well, I was hungry. lol So, today was day 1 of my fast and day 3 of no caffeine. Would you believe NO HEADACHES!!!! I thought for sure I'd be in a fog all day due to the lack of caffeine running through my veins, but nope...NOTHING! How awesome is that?
As for the fast...it's going well. I've got my lemonade. It's yummy. I was concerned about the cayenne pepper in it, but it just kinda gives it a kick. lol It's not too hot at all. It's 5:16 pm and while I could eat, I'm not really hungry, so that is nice. I still need to get to the store to get my tea for tonight though. I thought they had the right stuff at my local market, but they seemed to have downsized quite a bit on their organic teas. I guess I'll have to go to the natural food store to get it. I know I saw it there, but I was hoping to get it at my local market with self checkout so the checkout won't see me buying "Smoothe Move" tea. Yes...it's exactly what it sounds like!
Anyways, six more days to weigh in. I've decided not to obsess over the scale this time around. I'll weigh in at Weight Watchers every Saturday and just go on that. I'm not sure how that's going to go though because I'm such a slave to the scale.
I've contemplated bringing my elliptical inside. It's been in my garage since...well, since I got it. Yes, I have this incredible elliptical and have NEVER used it. My neighbor got some good use out of it for a few months, but I've never been on it. Ummmm...yeah, that's one of my deep dark secrets. Some people would kill for an elliptical. Mine sits in my garage.
So, I decided yesterday that I may as well not wait to give up coffee. I may as well just do it. By ten am, my head was KILLING me. A few hours later, my entire body felt heavy and my mind was in a complete fog. By 4 o'clock, I was sound asleep. I just couldn't handle the headache anymore and my body was just completely drained. Hubby was nice and let me sleep. I think he realized it was either that, or deal with me and my withdrawls, so sleep I did. It was our tenth anniversary yesterday. Probably not the best day to quit coffee, but whatever, I did it. I thought for sure my two hour nap would keep me up all night long. Nope. I was out by 11. Usually, I start getting tired around 1 am, so it was a HUGE change to go to bed at 11. I was still exhausted when I woke up this morning. My head is still pounding. My mind is still in a fog and I still feel like crap. I know from experience that by day four, I feel fine, so I'm just going to push through this and deal with it.
As for the fast, hubby is ADAMANTLY against it...especially while I'm going through caffeine withdrawls. He doesn't want to deal with me needing caffeine and being hungry at the same time. So, he likes to say things like, "I know what would make you feel better...a nice quad venti iced nonfat caramel macchiatto!!!" Shutup. "I know what would make you feel better, a nice hamburger!" Shutup. Yeah, I'm not the most pleasant person right now.
I know this is good for me though, so that's why I'm doing it. I'm trying to slowly transition my kids to vegetarianism (what do you mean those junior bacon cheeseburgers from Jack in the Box this morning weren't vegetarian?) Yeah, I had a headache and didn't feel like cooking. So sue me. The kids aren't very happy about it, but I think if i do it slowly, it won't be that bad. Not like me and my, "I'm going to quit coffee AND food at the same time!" Yeah, not so smart.
I went to a Weight Watchers meeting yesterday morning. You would not believe how many chipper people there are at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday morning. OH MY GOD. Seriously?!!??! There were over 100 people there and they were all chatting and giggling and having a grand old time. I just wanted my coffee. I got weighed in. Supposedly my weight is just between me and the little booklet they put it in, but I'll share it all with you. 283. Do you realize how close that is to 300? Seriously, how did I get here? What the hell was I thinking? How freaking stupid must I be to let myself get so fat? My next meeting is Saturday...at the butt crack of dawn again. We'll see if the weight has gone down. Apparently I get a niftt little pin when i've lost 10% of my body weight. Only 28 pounds to go. Ick.
I'm all about extremes. It seems "moderation" just isn't in my vocabulary. Perhaps that's why I fail so miserably at losing weight. They (who is this they anyways?) always say that "slow and steady wins the race." "Everything in moderation." Etc. Etc. etc. Not me. I'm extreme! (Not only extremely fat, either!) I can't seem to figure out this whole moderation thing. Maybe I don't have the self discipline. Maybe I'm just lazy. Whatever it is, I fail miserably at moderation. (Wait a minute...I fail miserably at extreme, as well. If I didn't, I wouldn't be a fatass, now would I?) Take, for example, the Atkins diet. I was good at it! Eat nothing but meat, eggs and butter. AWESOME! I can TOTALLY do that. (Okay, you Atkins lovers, I do know there is more to it than that...lots and lots of veggies. More than I usually eat, that's for sure.) One extreme...to another. Fat free VEGANISM! I was good at that, too! Eat as much as you want, as long as it didn't come from an animal and had little to no fat. AWESOME! I can do that! Oh wait...that's not the opposite extreme to Atkins. I'll tell you what is...RAW VEGANISM! Yes, my friends, that's my next attempt...after my cleanse, but more about that later.
I've been doing research. (There is absolutely NO ONE who knows more about dieting than a fat person, let me tell you!) and seriously, this one just makes sense. Cooking things absolutely alters the state of food. It kills enzymes, nutrients, etc. Why on earth would you not want to eat things in it's natural state (well, besides the fact that it tastes better when fried and slathered in butter :( ) when it is full of all of it's goodness. What good does cooking do, anyways? (Besides making things more palatable? :( ) Can you tell that I think I'm going to have a difficult time with this? While, in my head, it makes perfect sense, my tongue is telling me that everything is going to taste like grass, and I really don't like the taste of grass.
I'm still sticking to my themed days for my husband and my kids because I think it's good for them. Not that I don't think raw is good for them. I just think that they won't eat it. Heck, upon telling my husband that we're eating vegetarian one night of the week, vegan one night of the week and raw one night of the week, he asked me, "So what am I going to eat?" My kids are sad and think they're going to be wasting a lot of food. You know how they (there's that they again) say that a child will eat if they get hungry enough? They obviously haven't met my kids. My eldest didn't eat for three days when we went Vegan last time. She just absolutely refused to eat. I finally gave in and made her some pasta (which had eggs in it) and she finally ate. She was most certainly hungry enough and when a normally thin child starts getting noticably thinner, it's time to give in and cook her what she wants to eat. She's so dang stubborn. Hmmmm...I wonder where she gets that from?
So, anyways...back to raw veganism. I'm certainly not thinking this is going to be a lifestyle change. It's more of a challenge for me. I like challenges. :) 14 days of cleanse, then 30 days of raw veganism. All of this starting this Sunday. I will blog about it daily and let you all know how things are going.
Onto the cleanse. I've always believed that fasting is good for you. I think that the things we consume and come in contact with on a daily basis affect our body dramatically. I think that when our diets were mostly organic grains, fruits and vegetables, our bodies functioned as they were meant to function. Our livers and kidneys were meant to cleanse our bodys and filter out the bad stuff. However, I don't think our bodies were meant for the things we shove in them today. (Seriously...do you think we're supposed to be eating poison? Yeah...didn't think so) So, anyways, I think it's a good thing to give your body a rest and a chance to filter out the toxins without being forced to work with all of the new toxins we put in it every day from the foods we eat. So, I'm going on a two week semi fast. Usually, a fast means consuming nothing but pure water. I could probably do that, but I want at least some nutrients going into my body during my fast, so I'm doing the lemonade fast. The what?!?!?! Yes, you heard me, the lemonade fast. Drink a bunch of a special lemonade all day, a laxative tea at night (because ummm....you need to be able to get rid of the bad stuff lol) and do that for at least ten days. Hopefully, that will be the best start I can give my body before only filling it with organic fruits, veggies, sprouted grains, nuts, etc. for thirty days.
Be prepared...I'm giving up a severe caffeine addiction cold turkey. (We're talking anywhere from 4 to 8 shots of espresso every single day) So, I'm probably going to be a huge bitch. I've forewarned my husband and he's decided he'll be working a lot for the next week or so. lol So, if I'm not my usual, pleasant, cheerful self, you'll know why. It's scary doing this. I have a TERRIBLE headache within just a few hours of waking up if I don't get my four shots of espresso into me immediately. I don't know what going a few days is going to be like. It's going to be a rough few days while my body detoxes and goes through caffeine withdrawls. However, this is something I'm good at. It's extreme. If you give me a set list of, "You can't eat this or this or this or this, but can eat anything else," or "You can eat this and this and this and this, but nothing else," I can do it. You don't get much easier than, "You can drink this lemonade and this tea twice a day and nothing else." LOL Well, unless you go on a true fast of nothing but water. Talk about easy! LOL So, I'll see you on Sunday after my first morning of tea, lemonade and no coffee. Wish me luck!
Do you see how long it has been since I updated my blog? Are you wondering why? Of course not...especially if you're an extrapounds member. We all know how much we love to "conveniently" forget to blog when we're sitting on our ass, shoveling down Cheetos and wondering why our clothes are getting tight.
Yep, that's me. I'm back. "Hi, everyone! My name is Katie and I'm a fatass." Seriously. It's bad. 275. 275!!! Holy crap. What the hell happened? Well, I can tell you exactly what happened. For two months I ate nothing but fast food. "Surely, you jest," you're thinking. Or perhaps, "She's exaggerating." Oh no, my friend. I jest you not. I didn't cook for two months. I gained 55 pounds because of it. Why did I do that? I have no freaking clue. There must have been something off in my brain that allowed myself to not only poison myself with fast food daily, but my children as well. My husband, who has never had a weight problem, in the past month has been TERRIBLY down on himself because of the weight he's gained. It's my fault. I mean, it's one thing to sabotage yourself and not care about yourself, but quite another to subject your children to it. They don't have a choice. It's either eat what I give them, or not eat at all. Why did I think that was okay to do to them? They have been sicker lately than they have been in a long time. I know it's my fault. I know it's because I haven't been feeding them the way I need to be.
I can beat myself up about it all I want, but that's not going to change things. The only way to change things is to buck up and do it. Time to get off of my lazy ass, fill my kitchen with healthy, vitamin filled, good for you foods and cook my children the foods they're meant to eat!
I know I need some organization. It's hard to sit there day after day and think, "So, what am I going to make today?" So, we sat down as a family and came up with a plan. Each day is going to have a theme. All food eaten that day will stick to that theme. Snacks will be on theme. With that, I introduce you to kealoha's family food plan:
Steak Sunday
Meatless Monday
Lowfat Tuesday
Raw Wednesday
Vegan Thursday
Fish Friday
Sushi Saturday
Sushi Saturday was the kid's contribution to the plan. Apparently we're eating sushi...all day long. Yeah, so if you can think of a "breakfast sushi," I'd love to hear it! LOL
