Need to eat more

So, other than what I posted about food wise, earlier today, all I've had is two cucumbers.  I'm REALLY not hungry though.  In fact, the thought of food kinda makes my stomach feel ick, so I hesitate to eat, thinking it will just make me feel sick.  I KNOW I'm not getting enough calories though and that can really affect weight loss and make me gain like crazy when I finally do get hungry.

I know, I know...quit bitching.  Plenty of people would LOVE to not feel hungry!

Oh, I did have a couple of the raw chocolates I mentioned earlier.  Tres yummo!  I think I'm going to make some new ones, but with just cocoa, coconut butter and honey.  Yummo!

1/2 way there

So, on RawFu, we've been told to break the 100 day challenge up into 10 day mini challenges, so I'm half way done with my first 10 day mini challenge!  YAY!!!  I'm feeling INCREDIBLE.  Seriously, I haven't been this happy in a LONG time.  My surroundings haven't changed...just the food entering my body.  Who would have imagined?  Even my kids constant fighting isn't bothering me that much. LOL

I really didn't eat much yesterday.  I'm concerned about the number of calories I consume because I don't want my body to go into starvation mode, but the thought of forcing myself to eat when I'm not hungry goes against every fiber of my being. lol  So, I think I ended up with less than 250 calories yesterday, but I just wasn't hungry!  I'm thinking my body is just working so hard to get all of the bad stuff out, that maybe it doesn't want to work on digestion, so it's telling me I'm not hungry.  So, I'm going to listen to it.

So far, today though...my appetite is back a little.  This morning I opened a Thai young coconut, drank a cup of the water, put the rest of the water in the blender, along with all of the coconut meat, then blended that with two pears.  I drank about 2/3 of it.  It was DELICIOUS.  I wanted to mix it with strawberries instead of pears, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make strawberries magically appear in my fridge.  Apparently I used the rest of them last night when making my chocolate.

Ooooh...the chocolate!  I can't wait to try it.  I made it by blending together the flesh of a thai young coconut, strawberries, bananas and raw cocoa powder.  I poured it into a mini cupcake tin and stuck it in the freezer.  I'm going to remove them from the tin today and put them in a freezer container so I'll have a healthy chocolate snack to snack on when my chocolate cravings hit (which, considering it's that time of the month, seems to be daily! lol)

Anyways, that''s about it.  I'm SO looking forward to this Saturday's weigh in!  My scale shows a decent loss, but my scale cost a whopping $5 and tends to be wrong a lot. lol

Ugh

So, I didn't even realize until tonight that my videos weren't working correctly for some reason. :(  I guess I just won't post them here anymore.  If you're interested though, you can view and subscribe to them on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/user/kealohasilva

Anyways, a quick recap of the past few days since I've seemingly gone AWOL.  100% raw, starting August 1st.  I went through some withdrawl symptoms yesterday (really bad headache all day and just being an all around bitch lol) but today I'm feeling ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.  There has been a HUGE shift in my mood.  I had the most amazing raw soup tonight that really lived up to it's name "Energy Soup."  I got the recipe off of http://www.rawreform.com 

Anyways, it's late (1:30 am...so maybe a better description would be "It's early,") so I'm off to bed!  I hope you're all having a beautiful, energy filled day!

Raw Food Challenge Day 2!

RawFu Challenge DAY 1!

Ewwwwwwwwww

Okay, first off, more fighting with hubby last night over his work hours.  Same ol' same ol'.  Brie and salami this time.  Oh, and a Slim Jim.  I woke up in the middle of the night sick to my stomach.  Nice.  Serves me right.

Anyways.  Today starts my 100 day RawFu challenge.  I figured I'd start the morning off like I usually do...with a green smoothie.  Now, you may remember the last time I ran out of coconut water.  I used chocolate hemp and chocolate almond milk instead.  Big mistake.  Want to know an even BIGGER mistake?  Using raw milk when you run out of coconut water.  Now, raw milk on it's own, I LOVE it.  (By the way, I'm not going raw vegan on this challenge, in case you couldn't already figure that out.)  So, raw milk, kale, and mango.  Blend it up.  Taste it.  Ummmm...yuck.  Add some raw honey and see if that helps.  Ummm...yuck.  Add some frozen blueberries to see if that helps.  Ummmm....yuck.  I felt like it needed something citrusy, but I didn't have any lemons or oranges in my fridge. :(  (I keep all of my fruit refrigerated whether it needs it or not.  I prefer cold fruit.  Well, except my bananas.  They always turn brown in the fridge. :( )  So, I figure, "I'll eat anything as long as it's healthy" and didn't want to waste the fruit and kale, so, I start drinking.  I have NEVER not finished a green smoothie before, no matter how bad it tasted.  I got through about half of this one and just couldn't bring myself to eat/drink the rest.  Down the drain it went.

Moral of this story: never mix dairy with greens.

I made a smoothie for my girls before school this morning.  It had raw milk, kefir, peaches and strawberries in it.  They LOVED it.  They said greens would have ruined it.  I should have heeded their warning when making my own!

Not too bad after breakfast

1/2 container fat free cottage cheese and some gRAWnola is all I've had the rest of the day today.  So, I'm not couting it a total bust.  Hubby has been at work for 12 hours now.  *sigh*

Pretending

So, hubby got home late last night...which is normal lately.  If he doesn't work a 12 hour day, it seems something is wrong.  I guess I had had enough of it though because I was a total bitch to him when he got home, ignoring him, not talking to him and just plain giving him attitude.  Then, when he called me on it, I totally flipped out on him.  We're talking screaming and swearing...the works.  Good times.  Maybe I'm PMSing. lol  We fight...I eat.  Two more Hot Pockets down the hatch.

This morning, more being irritated because he's working so much and knowing that he's completely right that I should be more supportive and that he doesn't want to work as much as he wants to and it's not any more fun for him than it is for me, but still hating every minute of it and having no one to take it out on but him.  I'm resentful that I have to be the one to suck it up and pretend I'm not upset.  I'm resentful that he's able to come home to me and bitch about what a terrible day at work he had, but I have to shut my mouth and pretend to be happy because me being in a bad mood makes his mood even worse and I've been told before that he just wants to come home to a peaceful house after a long, terrible day at work, which seems to be every day lately.

So, for him, I'll suck it up.  I'll pretend that every single day I have with six kids who drive me up the freaking wall at times is a honky dory day full of rainbows and pink unicorns.  I'll pretend that I think it's okay that he hasn't seen his youngest daughter in three days because he's gone before she wakes up and comes home after she's in bed for the night.  I'll pretend that I don't know the reason she has been in such a horrible mood lately (we're talking screaming, nonstop for HOURS) is because she misses her daddy.  I'll pretend that his nine year old daughter doesn't cry herself to sleep because she barely sees him and when she does, he's in a shit mood from work, so all he does is yell at her.  And amidst all this pretending, apparently...I'll eat.  McSkillet burritos and has browns from McDonalds make me happy.

Do you do this?

So, I'm starting my 100 day raw challenge in two days.  So, what do I do to prepare for it?  Why, eat as much terrible for me, cooked food as I can, of course.  It's like when I say, "I'm going to start my diet on Monday."  Then, I eat all the ice cream, doughnuts, garlic bread and candy I can on Saturday and Sunday.  Yeah, because gaining five pounds is a GREAT way to prepare for a diet!!!

So, two hot pockets today.  They were yummy, but they're still just sitting there, reminding me that I shouldn't have eaten them!

I also made a really yummy shake this morning.  I'd call it a smoothie, but it really tasted like a milk shake. lol  All it was was unsweetened chocolate almond milk, blended with bananas.  YUMMO!  The girls were in heaven!  They couldn't believe I was letting them drink a milkshake for breakfast!!! (I used frozen banana in theirs)  Little did they know that it was actually GOOD for them. LOL  MUWAHAHAHAHAH.  (That's my evil laugh, in case you couldn't tell.)

For lunch, I had my divinity smoothie.  I used fresh coconut water and was going to add the coconut meat as well, but my one year old was standing there in the kitchen with me, signing "food" as she watched me scoop the meat out, so of course I had to give it to her. lol  She LOVED it.

Dinner...yeah...there were my two hot pockets. lol  I'll probably have some strawberries later.  I'm actually really craving oranges.  I think I'm just thirsty. lol

Food today

So, I wrote this long post earlier today and thought I had posted it, but now it's not there, so chances are, I probably got distracted, didn't post it, then just closed the window.  That sucks.

Anyways, when I wrote the title to this post, I made a typo and typed "Good today," which CERTAINLY wasn't fitting for today!!!!  Ugh.  Issues from last night carried over to today.  I woke up, wanting ice cream.  I already had oatmeal in the crock pot for my girls because school has started, so I usually put some oatmeal in the crock pot the night before so they have oatmeal before school.  I was SO tempted to eat some.  I know, you're probably thinking, "Oatmeal is good for you!"  It's not when I add brown sugar, cream, jelly, etc. to it, which is the only way I'll eat it. lol   So, I got the girls off to school (by the way, for those of you who don't know me, I have six kids, so they take up the majority of my life lol) and then my younger daughter woke up.  Yesterday she woke up and her face was puffy.  I thought maybe it was because she had just woken up.  It didn't go away though.  All day, I was noticing that her face looked puffy...especially around the eyes.  Well, this morning she woke up and it was a LOT worse.  She looked terrible.  So, I knew I needed to take her into the doctor.  This, of course, meant a lot of time spent in the doctor's office, so I wasn't sure when I was going to get a chance to eat.  Rather than worry about gorging when I finally got to eat, I decided to make myself a green smoothie, with as much green in it as possible to tide me over until I got to eat again.  Let me tell you...this ended up being the nastiest, sludgiest smoothie I have ever made.  It was DISGUSTING.  The kale made it kinda foamy, kinda sludgy.  I have no idea what happened.  It was just gross though.  I chugged it down though because I knew I needed food.

Anyways, I had to go get some money from my husband and when I got to him, he had food for us!!  He said he knew we probably weren't going to have a chance to eat for quite a while, so he bought us musubi to tide us over.  What a sweetheart.  If you don't know what musubi is, it's white rice, with some sort of meat, wrapped in nori.  Not terribly bad for you, but not really good, either.  They're a lot better for you when you don't eat FOUR of them!!!  Three Portuguese sausage musubis and 1 bbq chicken.  YUM.  Still, not really good.

Upon getting home, I ended up having some M&M's to make me feel better about the issues I'm dealing with.  Yeah, emotional eating.  I know it, yet I still do it.  I'm going to have to start working on that soon.  As for my daughter, the doctor is thinking allergies and she's on Benadryl for the next 24 hours and if she doesn't get better, I'm to bring her in again in the morning.  After the first round, she didn't look any better.  After the second though, she started looking better! :D  She's sleeping now, so hopefully she'll wake up my bright eyed, non puffy sweetheart!

Dinner tonight was two bananas.  It was either that, or 2 or 3 hot pockets.  Those sounded REALLY good.  But, I was good and just had a couple bananas.  See, I really AM trying to get it under control. lol  I knew I wasn't really hungry and only wanted the Hot Pockets to make me happy, so I opted to eat two bananas and go have sex instead.  Yes, TMI, but hey...I'm just letting you know what works for me! LOL