Thick and Tired of it!

My journey to a healthy me...aka fatass no more!

My Profile

  • Name: kealoha
  • City: San Diego
  • Region: California
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 167.6cm
Start weight: 283.00lb
Current weight: 284.00lb
Goal weight: 130.00lb
Lost to date: -1.00lb
Remaining: 154.00lb

My Calendar

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May '12
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Before After
Really Simple Syndication
07/06/2009 11:49

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?

Okay, so it's been a while since I posted last.  Ummm, yeah...a while.  I'm sure you all know what that means.  We all want to post our amazing accomplishments and get a high letting everyone know how well we're doing.  Then, we slip...and we don't post.  Then, the next day, we slip again...it's okay.  I just won't post about it.  People will just think I got busy and didn't get a chance to post.  Well, ummm...can I say I've been busy for about six months?  No?  Yeah, I didn't think so.  Can I say I've been slipping for about six months?  What do you mean that's more believable?  Well, boo on you.  Of course, it's the truth, but still...boo.

Yeah, so up one pound from my highest weight ever, which sadly, is still actually down five pounds from my actual highest weight ever, which was just last week.  Seriously?  How does this happen? *hides the Haagen Dazs bar box in case the web cam suddenly turns on*  How on earth do I just keep gaining? *quickly tosses the Monster can into the recycling container*  I just don't get it.  *shovels the rest of the Snickers bar in her mouth to hide the evidence*  Seriously...I had all of those tonight before posting this. *puts bag over head*

No more!!!  (Yeah, sounds familiar...I know)  Really, though.  You may have heard it before, and I may have meant it every time, but I can't just go with the attitude, "Well, I've said that before and I know it won't happen," can I?  That's not only admitting defeat before I've even begun, but accepting it, which is just unacceptable.  I may fail, but I refuse to plan to fail.  If I plan to fail, I'll NEVER succeed, which I will do!

So, I was supposed to do the 30 day shred with my friend, Tara.  (Check out her blog in my blog roll...I'm too lazy to link tonight)  I'm not sure if she thinks I'm doing it or not.  She hasn't asked.  I didn't even do it the first day, which was supposed to be Monday...last monday.  Today should have been the first week down.  I haven't even started.  Ugh.  Yeah.  Sorry, Tara!  I hope you're doing well!

Hubby is going to be gone tomorrow night, which usually means I slack off and make mac and cheese or something for dinner, but I'm planning on not doing that.  I'm going to make a good, healthy meal for my family.  Baby steps, right?

I leave for my mom's house for a little over two weeks next Sunday.  My husband and two older daughters are going to Hawaii for a few weeks, so I'm going to spend the majority of that time with my mom and my four younger kids.  Luckily, my mom lives right next to a HUGE Whole Foods Market.  I could spend DAYS there, I kid you not.  I LOVE Whole Foods.  It's like I died and went to organic heaven.

Something that seems odd, considering my weight and my affinity for all things terrible for me, I'm a huge health food nut.  My kids have a healthier diet than most kids I know.  They eat probably 90% organic, whole foods.  (The other 10%, sadly, is fast food when I'm too lazy too cook) They eat meat once, maybe twice a week, and never red meat at home.  I limit their dairy and the dairy they do get is raw.  They have the diet I want.  They have the diet I would have if I didn't sneak food after they go to bed, or drive through the McDonalds drive through when I'm out running errands, or...or...or...  Yeah, I should just stop doing those things.  Then I'd be skinny minnies like my kids. LOL  Oh, and the fact that my older girls are black belts in taekwondo probably doesn't hurt them, either.  They're crazy active, which is a HUGE downfall of mine.  I huff and puff just getting upstairs sometimes.  Forget carrying the baby up the stairs.  By the time I get her up there, I can barely sing her lullabies when I put her to bed because I'm out of breath.

So anyways, that's all going to stop!  The snacking has got to stop!  The fast food has got to stop!  I have to get off my booty and get into some activity.  There are sports I actually enjoy.  There really are.  Sadly, I've just gotten too big to do them.  At least, that's the excuse I keep giving myself.  "When I've lost some weight, THEN I'll start playing raquetball again."  "When I've lost some weight, THEN Drake and I will go play tennis again."  "When I've lost some weight, THEN I'll swim again."  Okay, the swimming really has to wait until I've lost some weight because I won't even wear shorts, let alone a swim suit. LOL  I know right around 180 I start feeling comfortable enough to wear a tankini top and surf shorts, so maybe then. lol  I need to stop waiting to lose weight to do these things because without these things, I'm just never going to lose the weight!

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (1) Top
01/12/2009 18:18

Veganism

 So, I've been trying to get my family (myself included) to go vegetarian, if not vegan, for a very long time.  It finally hit me the other day, I'm the one who cooks.  If I don't cook it, they can't eat it. lol  Yes, silly, I know.  How did I not think of this long ago?  Truth is, I had.  I did it.  I started cooking purely vegan meals.  My daughter (8 or 9 at the time) went on a hunger strike.  The rest of my kids complained throughout the entire meal.  It was disasterous.  Finally, after about three days, I gave in because my oldest daughter still wasn't eating and she was already too thin to begin with.

However, I've since realized where I went wrong.  I was cooking for me.  I found recipes that I thought sounded good and forced them on people who already were against veganism (because meat "tastes SOOOOOO good!!!!!!") and so it was easy for them to turn it down and complain.  So, I've changed my strategy.  I've compiled recipes that I knew would appeal to my children.  They haven't even noticed that they haven't eaten milk, cheese, eggs or meat in a few days!

I feel good about this.  After all of the research I've done, I know vegan is the way I want to go.  The way I want my family to go.  It wasn't hard to convince me, as I've been swaying that way for many years, but it's been difficult to convince my children.  Well, I take that back.  You remember that 8 or 9 year old who didn't eat for 3 days because I wasn't serving meat?  She actually decided to go fully vegan before I did.  She ran across the peta website while she was online one day and after a few videos decided that meat and dairy were no longer part of her diet. lol

Occasionally I'll probably post a recipe or two that my family has loved, in case any of you are interested in family friendly vegan meals.  Yesterday I started posting our evening meals on another blog, http://goingvegn.blogspot.com  If you're interested in reviews from my children and me on the food we're eating, you'll find them there. :)

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (1) Top
01/10/2009 19:55

New day

 So, I didn't do all that well yesterday.  Granted, I didn't do all that bad, but I didn't do all that well.  For breakfast, I had a yogurt.  Not bad.  Then I had some fruit...I think.  My memory sucks. lol  I don't remember what I had for lunch, but it wasn't good.  It wasn't terrible, but I remember thinking that I shouldn't eat it.  Some more fruit, another yogurt, then came dinner.  Okay, so I was being good.  I ordered a foot long veggie delite from Subway, figuring I'd only eat half of it and have the other half for lunch today.  No such luck.  I ate THE WHOLE THING.  Then, I at 3 inches of my husbands chicken teriyaki sandwich.  Why did I do that?  I wasn't even that hungry.  It just tasted so good, so I kept shoveling.  Ugh.  It figures that I'm up 1/2 pound since yesterday morning. :(  Maybe I should stop weighing every day.  Yeah right, like I could do that.

So, today for breakfast, I bought some spicy tuna sushi.  Not all that good for me with the white rice and all, but not that bad, either.  (That seems to be the theme with me lately)  It didn't taste good.  The fish tasted off.  I continued to eat it.  I don't know why.  I hope I'm not paying for it later with food poisoning or something.  How terrible is it that my first thought regarding food poisoning is, "Well, at least all that throwing up will make me lose weight!"  Yeah, probably not the best mentality.  Oh whatever, you know you were thinking it, too!

Off to have a yogurt and an apple.  I bought some organic apples from Vons the other day and they are SO good and SO juicy.  YUMMY!

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (0) Top
01/09/2009 01:47

Doing well...sorta

 Okay, so day three and 3.3 pounds down as of this morning.  (Even more as of right now, but I'm not counting that...yet. lol)  I did cheat and have pizza last night.  Three more pieces than I should have.  (Which, obviously means I had three pieces....yikes...fatass!)

Want to hear what is totally not fair, though?  I told my husband that "we're" going on a diet.  He eats what I eat when we're at home, but has whatever he wants for lunch (a giant roast beef and horseradish sandwich yesterday, for example) because he goes out with coworkers.  He had FIVE pieces of pizza last night (because, apparently he's STARVING, and I'm totally depriving him of food or something) and he was STILL down SIX...yes, that's right, I said SIX pounds this morning!  WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!?!  I hate him.

My elliptical is still being used for it's previous purpose...a depository for laundry.  I should really change that, I guess.  Not that I really want to, but whatever.  They say it's good for you.  Who is this they anyways?  What do they really know?

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (0) Top
01/06/2009 17:34

Boo. I mean, I'M BACK!!!

 Okay, so lack of funds made Weight Watchers meetings unfeasible for me.  Why does that mean I have to go and get fat again?  Oh wait, it doesn't.  Unfortunately, that is what happened. :(  I gained back 12 of the however much I lost. :(  New year, new commitment, though!  Not a new year's resolution...I suck at those...just recommitting myself to making myself a better person.  This isn't only a plan for the weight loss area, either.  I'm going to make a better person of mysell all around.  I'm going back to school this year.  I'm working on being a better mom.  I'm going to take some "Katie" time.  I'm going to do more for others.  It's time to recommit myself to being the person I should be instead of the person I've become.

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (0) Top
09/03/2008 16:54

Slow and steady wins the race

Okay, so I've slowly been getting back into better eating habits.  It's amazing how easy it is to slip right back into your old ways...ways that you thought were put behind you and were long gone.

I went to the doctor yesterday to talk to her about birth control.  (Long story about me and birth control.  It seems to hate me and I end up pregnant even when on it...and I've tried just about everything LOL)  She noticed my weight gain and asked me about it.  I told her that I had gained seventy pounds in six months and while I knew exactly how I gained that weight, I didn't know why.  Don't get me wrong.  I know why I gained weight.  I just didn't know why I allowed myself to.  She then asked me how things were going being a mom to six.  Apparently when you gain seventy pounds in six months, then burst into tears when someone asks you how you're doing, you get a mental health services referral. LOL  I insisted that I was fine and that I was just having a bad day, having yelled at my girls for really, no reason, having not been able to sleep the night before, or pretty much any night for the past year or so and just feeling a general sense of being overwhelmed and feeling like a crappy parent, but DANG IT...I am FINE! lol  She told me that she really just wanted me to call them and talk to someone because it can be overwhelming having so many kids and sometimes it's just good to have someone to talk to.  So, yeah...basically my doctor thinks I'm a nut job. lol  I think she got the feeling that I wasn't going to call mental health services because she put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Please call them and set up an appointment to talk to someone.  I know you don't want to, but please, just do it."  I still don't know if I'm going to or not.  I feel...fine.  Yes, I'm overwhelmed.  Yes, I overeat.  No, I can't sleep at night but really really want to sleep all day.  But really, I don't think I'm having any major issues.    Then again, do you really have issues if you realize you have issues?  Don't crazy people not realize they're crazy?  Isn't that part of the craziness?  Is it offensive to call someone crazy when they actually have a mental illness? lol  Sorry, I'm not the most PC person in the world.  So, I may or may not put the call into the crazy doc.  We'll see.  I think my biggest fear is that I'll talk to the crazy doc (do you think s/he will be offended if I call him/her the crazy doc to his/her face?) and s/he will decide that I have a gajillion mental illness'...not just a few, but a gajillion...and want to dope me up and see me five times a week. LOL  Seriously, I do know that psychiatrists/psychologists truly do help people.  But, so often I see people who go to them because they're feeling a little down, and all of a sudden that person is told that they have this and this and this and this and need to be on medication for this and this and this and this, and after a few sessions, are more messed up then they were when they went in because now all of a sudden they have all these mental illness' that they didn't even know they had, that I don't really think they have, but it sure is easier to blam things on their mental illness than on the fact that they're just not very good people.

Anyways, just my own unPC 2 cents. lol

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (0) Top
08/30/2008 14:19

You really have to wonder...

 When I go from blogging daily to not blogging for weeks, you have to wonder what is going on.  Well, I suppose you really don't have to wonder...you just have to assume that my diet has gone to crap. LOL  The past two weeks have been BAD.  Fast food, candy, far too much caffeine.  It's a vicious downward spiral.  I'm determined to not hit bottom before I start going back up...or rather, DOWN where weight is concerned. LOL

I know a big part of it is lack of money.  Sadly, it's cheaper for my family to get fast food than it is to make a good meal at home.  Six double cheeseburgers is only $6.  A nice meal at home can cost up to $40.  These past few weeks, financially, have been terrible, which means my family is eating a lot of pasta, canned stuff, etc.  We're basically eating whatever we already had in the cupboards, then supplementing with fast food.  SUPPLEMENTING WITH FAST FOOD?!!?!?!  What a terrible thought, and yet I'm doing it.  That has GOT to stop! 

I'm honestly in a bit of a funk.  I'm not sure if it's the stress of money issues, trying to get back into the swing of the school year, which means TONS of running around and seemingly no time to do anything but drop kids off, pick kids up (my four kids in school get dropped off at two different times and picked up at four different times, all between 8 am and 4 pm), deal with homework and stuff like that.  By the time I'm even thinking about dinner, it's already past time for dinner and the kids are hungry and needing to get to bed in an hour!  Add to that, a husband who works between 12-16 hours a day, but never the same hours each day, and it's chaotic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...excuses, excuses.  Meg, thank you for calling me out on not updating recently.  I really needed it.  It's far too easy to just disappear and not be acountable, then never reappear and just undo everything you have been working so hard to do.

Oh, and horror of all horrors, I even started ATKINS again!  I was feeling desperate.  I wanted to see that rapid drop of weight.  I thought it would be the boost I needed to get going again.  When I was at the grocery store, my DH asked me if I needed to get some fruits and veggies.  I told him no.  He thought that was strange.  Then, he saw me frying some eggs, put two and two together and put a stop to that right quick. LOL  He made me go back to the store and pick up fruits and veggies. LOL  I love him for it.  I needed him to snap me out of it!  Low carb is fine.  Atkins induction is not.  No slight to those doing it, it's just not for me.  I'm actually doing low carb...kind of.  I'm mainly sticking to veggies and fruit that is low on the glycemic index.  I'm going to cut out the meat and dairy again.  That stuff just isn't good for me.  Again, no slight to those that consume it...it's just not for me.

Speaking of which...I was buying some food for my kid's lunches for next week.  I watched the Rachel Ray show (I LOVE her!) last week and it was about fun things to pack for your kids school lunches.  She showed something she called "Fundue," which was just veggies, meat and cheeses, that the kid could dip in a sauce of ranch dressing and salsa, then fruits and angel food cake they could dip in pureed strawberries.  As I was buying the meat to cut up into chunks for the fundue, it nearly made me gag.  The thought of the meat was just gross.  It was then that I realized that I just don't want meat.  Don't get me wrong.  I LIKE meat.  I'm a HUGE fan of an extremely rare filet mignon.  OH MY GAWD...heavenly.  (If it's cooked well....I'm a total filet snob lol)  But, the thought of meat really just grosses me out.  I come to this realization every once in a while and you'd think it would stick with me, but it really doesn't.   I need to just make the switch to vegetarianism and stick to it.  I think I would be MUCH happier if I did.

Did I mention that my girls LOVE salad?  They're so cute.  They take a salad to school for lunch every day.  Their friends think I'm torturing them. LOL  Their friends try to shove microwaved burritos, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and goldfish crackers at them during lunch, thinking that my kids must be deprived, but my girls LOVE their salads!  I'm so thrilled with that!  Ooh, speaking of salads, let me give you some product recommendations!!!

This is the container my girls use for their salads: http://www.fit-fresh.com/products/transportation/saladshaker.php  I pack their salad on the bottom, then put their dressing in the little spot for it.  Plenty of room for a very large salad!  Plus, it has a utensil area, which is VERY convenient!  The ice pack keeps everything cool and the seperate dressing area keeps things from getting soggy because you don't add the dressing until you're going to eat.  The dressing goes into the salad, you shake everything up, and you're good to go!

This is what they use when they don't take a salad for lunch: http://www.fit-fresh.com/products/transportation/lunchonthego.php  They usually have a sandwich on the bottom along with some pita chips, some veggies and fruit in one tray and some hummus in the other tray.  These are also the containers I will be using for "Fundue."  The meat, cheese and veggies will go on one side of the bottom, separated by those little green "grass" separators that you find in sushi or bento boxes, with angel food cake chunks and fruit on the other side, then one top container will have a combo of salsa and ranch and the other will have pureed strawberries.

I don't have this, but I really want one: http://www.fit-fresh.com/products/transportation/breakfastchiller.php  A lot of times, my kid's breakfast is yogurt with fruit and granola mixed into it.  How perfect is this container for it?  Granted, they don't usually go anywhere with their breakfast, unless they're eating in the car on the way to school and school is less than four minutes away, but still...very cool.  What can I say..I'm a consumer. lol

I currently have Campbell's Soup thermos' to send to school with soup in it, but I want these: http://www.fit-fresh.com/products/transportation/warmsoupcontainer.php

(Are you getting the idea that I REALLY like this company yet? lol)

My kindergartener doesn't eat lunch at school, but he does have to bring a snack every day.  This is what his will be going in, as soon as I get it. lol http://www.fit-fresh.com/products/transportation/warmsoupcontainer.php  He usually takes celery sticks with peanut butter (we're not a peanut free school) carrot sticks with ranch, apples with caramel, or other fruit with yogurt.  (He's a big dip kinda kid!  Fundue will be perfect for him!)

Last, but certainly NOT least, http://www.fit-fresh.com/products/livpure/  I cannot even begin to tell you how badly I want one of these for each of my kids.  Currently, my kids take three bottles of water each to school with them.  My kids are HUGE water drinkers and I HATE them drinking tap water.  I just don't think it's good for you.  I don't even cook with tap water.  If I could afford to, I'd wash my dishes and shower with bottled water. LOL  We are a 100% bottled water family.  I'm okay with tap water, if it's been filtered, though.  (I dream of someday having water and ice from my fridge door...it's the little things in life that make me happy lol and when I have my own house, we WILL have a whole house filtration system.  Did you know that the majority of the water that enters your body during the day comes from being absorbed through your skin in the shower?!?!?!)  They often finish their three bottles, then resort to drinking out of the drinking fountains.  (We won't even get into how unsanitary those things are with sick kids sucking on them because they don't know how to properly use them...but I have germ issues that I'm trying not to pass onto my kids. LOL)  Anyways, I totally want my kids to have one of these in their backpacks so they can fill them from the fountain (ick) and at least have filtered water if not bottled water.

Okay, there ARE some cons to these products.  The lid doesn't stay on incredibly well.  It's fine for an adult.  It's not like it's going to randomly pop off in your purse or anything.  (What do you mean your purse isn't large enough to carry a lunch box, a baby sling, three diapers, wipes, a bunch of toys, a change of clothes for two different kids, your knitting and a spare child or two?  Isn't everybody's?)  But, for kids, who throw their backpacks around, drop things and generally aren't exactly gentle with their things, you run the risk of the lid coming off.  For example, at my kid's school, all lunches for each class are put in a big bin and carried to the lunch room by a couple of kids.  Caitlin's was on the top of the bin.  Kids aren't very careful.  Her lunch fell out of the bin, onto the ground, it came open and she lost her entire salad.  She was majorly bummed. :(  So, I found insulated lunchboxes that these things fit into.  Unfortunately, I cannot find them online to link you to.  They are by "Zero Degrees" and are called the "Lunch Bucket."  It has two compartments, one on top of the other.  The bottom compartment fits the lunch container and the top compartment fits a bottle of water (maybe even two, although I haven't tried it yet)  I made the mistake of not trying to fit the salad container into the bottom compartment, so I don't know if it will fit.  It's a bit taller than the lunch container, so it might not fit.

Anyways, that's enough of my endorsements for today.  This post is entirely too long. lol

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (2) Top
08/20/2008 18:47

Boo

So, no money means no fresh produce...at least not enough to sustain myself on, so I've had to eat some cooked food just to make sure I'm eating.  I feel sick, but at least I'm not starving. lol  I've already gained back a bunch of the weight I've lost in the past two weeks.  Saturday's weigh in is going to be disasterous!  Ugh.

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (1) Top
08/15/2008 20:27

100 days isn't that long

So, I'm on day 15 of the 100 day raw food challenge.  All is well!  I've managed to stay 100% raw the full fifteen days!  I'm eating more lately, which is good.  I need to start back up with the smoothies though because I'm not getting enough leafy greens in right now.  The thought of salad is enough to make me not eat all day. lol  I've been eating a lot of fruit.  I'm not even really craving cooked foods, which is a big change for me.  For the first week or so, I would just smell the food and crave it.  Now, not such a big deal.  I was at Trader Joes today and was looking through the bread, getting some for my kids and I realized that I didn't even want the bread.  SO strange.  I LOVE bread!  Or rather, I guess...I LOVED bread. :D  Weigh in tomorrow morning.  I'm really hoping I lost that .6 that I need for my 10% goal!  I'm pretty sure I did, but don't want to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed.  KWIM?

Something interesting happened the other day.  I may have posted about this, I may not have.  I don't remember.  Anyways, one day, all I wanted to eat all day were oranges.  I think I had like six oranges that day and that was all I ate.  My body didn't want anything but oranges.  The next day was the day I woke up, crazy sick.  I had SUCH a terrible cold.  Could it be that my body knew I was getting sick and had me eat oranges like crazy because it knew I needed the vitamin C?  I don't know, but it sure is a freaky coincidence if that wasn't the case!

How cool is it to be able to listen to your body and take in the foods it wants you to, rather than just ingesting things because they taste good!  Raw food is awesome!

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (0) Top
08/13/2008 00:13

The yummiest dinner ever

Okay, so maybe I was just really hungry, but my dinner tonight was SO SO SO SO SO good!!!!

I blended together a tomato, some sundried tomatoes, rosemary, thyme, basil, Hawaiian sea salt and a little bit of garlic to make a marinara sauce, then I poured that over zucchini "noodles" that I made with my vegetable peeler.  It was SO yummy!  Oh my goodness, I could have eaten around four times as much as I did. lol

Posted By: kealoha Add Comment | Comments (2) Top
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