Who is Kristy?
That's a good question! I guess that is why I am here, to find out who I am. First, let me introduce my family.
My husband and I have been married going on six years. We met through the Jaycees and had a long distance relationship for over a year. I lived about 140 miles away from him and our relationship consisted of telephone conversations on Tuesday and Thursday and one weekend I would go to his place and the next he would come to my place. Mike is a farmer/rancher/welder. He loves farming; we have wheat, beans and alfalfa, he also loves ranching; we have cows, horses and sheep. Since he is a farmer and farmers do not make enough money to live off of ( I guess you could call farming an expensive hobby) he has to work in town as a welder. My husband gets up at the crack of dawn and is working until dark, which during the summer can be extremely late. That is also the reason that my husband is so grumpy at times. :~) His hobbies are hunting, hunting and more hunting. When hunting season comes around I'm lucky if I get to see my husband at all.
Our oldest daughter wil be turning 5 in February and is in preschool right now, but will be starting Kindergarten next year, she is mommy's helper. She LOVES horses! She has a stick horse she rides around the house, and yes she is spoiled and has her own horse, Sandy, that she rides quite frequently. We have a total of 5 horses and she loves taking care of them. She also loves to sing. It amazing how she will remember every song on the radio and just start singing it in the house word for word. Her aunt made a comment over the weekend and said, "I wouldn't be suprised if we visit her in concert one day." She's my little Carrie Underwood. Yes, mommy's proud!
Our youngest daughter is a momma's girl, she will be turning 1 in January. She loves to get into everything. Her favorite past time is running off with the toilet paper and stringing it all over the house. She is also my little comedian....she loves to play peekaboo and to give you her cheesy grin (it's so cute) She is terrified of all men, except daddy. If she sees a man come anywhere close to her she will just start crying (even her grandpas). Needless to say, we did not get a picture with santa this year. She just started walking on Christmas Eve....so now the fun begins.
A little bit about me....my life is basically taking care of the three people I described above. I was sitting here thinking about what my hobbies are and I can't think of anything. I've wanted to get into scrapbooking, I have all of the stuff to do it, but I don't seem to find the time. Before I met my husband I was a legal secretary, owned my own house, my car was paid for....the only thing I did not have was a family. I met my husband and fell in love...after dating for a year he talked me into moving to rural Kansas. I lived in Wichita, so it was a major culture shock. That is when my weight gain began. When my husband and I met I weighed 165 pounds....I was an avid kickboxer, loved it and I lifted weights 3 times a week. Eating was never a problem for me, because I lived alone and only had to worry about myself. When we got married I had gained 40 pounds. I was no longer exercising and my husband loves to cook. When I got pregnant with my first child I weighed in at 222 pounds. After she was born I was 230 pounds. Then I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter...I weighed 233 pounds. After she was born I weighed in at 260 pounds and the weight will not come off. She was a C-section baby, so I do not know if that's why I can't get rid of the stubborn weight or if it's that my metabolism is at a stand still, of course, it could be all the crap I eat and the lack of exercise!
I am currently working at the hospital and am going to school to be an RN, so my life is filled with stress and chaos most of the time. I am a stress eater, because when my daughter begins to cry non-stop or my oldest is whining or my husband is complaining...I'm in the kitchen eating!!
Basically, my life consists of taking care of my family and making sure that they are happy. I've known it all along, but this just confirms that I'm leaving myself out. I'm miserable with my weight, my self esteem is shot.....how can I be a good mother, wife or nurse when I'm not happy with who I am. I miss the girl that I used to be. I loved life and right now my life is stuck in a rut and I'm always at home alone with the girls and my relationship with my husband has just gotten into that comfortable zone...where everything is the same and there's no excitement anymore. I have no doubt that my husband loves me, but I want to feel sexy again. Mike used to tell me all the time how beautiful I am and how he wanted to take me out and show me off, I felt special. Now, he goes out by himself and leaves me at home and sometimes I think that he is ashamed to be seen with me because of how I let myself go.
Well, that's basically me and my family in a nutshell. I know I need this...to write down my feelings and get it all out in the open. How can you fix the problems without facing them, right?
Until next time.....
Kristy