A dinner party....

 Last night we hosted a dinner party.  I was a little nervous about the food.  We have a reputation for good but high calorie food.  We changed all that up yesterday and I was a little worried the taste would suffer.  I'm not the greatest cook in the universe but we have a few simple recipes that work.  Instead of my famous eclair or pie last night we served frozen yogurt with fresh fruit and we significantly reduced the calories and portions on the meal.  It went over really well.  I'm not sure we could have served the same 'light' meal in the middle of winter but on a spring day, it was perfect and the scale wasn't up this morning which is the best news of all.  

My Plan

This is my plan ....

Run or walk 5K (3.1 miles) 5 days a week.

Strength training twice a week (this is often the one that gets left out)

8 glasses of water a day

Blog here to get my thoughts out.

Be accountable to my fellow weight loss buddies at www.mommysavers.com 

No more desserts

One helping at meals (I come from a two helping minimum family)

I hope to lose weight slowly and consistently so that it stays off.  I'm in this for the long haul.  The slower it comes off, the more likely it is to stay off.  I just have to keep it going down.  I've been a good maintainer for too long now.  

Alive

I saw an interview with Adro, the winner of the biggest loser Australia.   He described a scene where he had to face his biggest fear, heights by jumping out of a tall tree.  He says that as he jumped he felt his new body jump but his old body stay up in the tree calling out to him to come back.  He realized at that moment that he would never be obese again.  It was such a powerful image.  Have you reached a moment when you just know that you know that know that enough is enough and you are going to do this once and for all?

He said, "There is a difference between being alive and living."  I want to live.  

I love my treadmill!

It is a stinking rotten cold blustery April day out there and I still was able to run my 3 miles .. on a treadmill while watching Oprah.  I use to belong to a gym but it drove me crazy that not only would I have to stand in line to wait for a treadmill, but they had a 20 min limit.  Now I can stay on for however long I like, I don't have to drive to get there, I am left alone in peace, I don't have to worry about someone watching me jiggle around, and I don't even have to leave my house.  

A Fear of Failure

 Last week I failed an exam for a course I was taking.  It hit me really hard.  Much harder than I would have expected.  It started a spiral of negative self talk that I had trouble breaking free from.  It also transfered to the feelings about my weight.  "You are not a failure", I said to self.  "You are on a journey to better heath and this journey has it's peaks and valleys."  

I can do this.  I just need to remember that it's not a one time event.  I need to get there but I also need to stay there.  I need all the encouragement I can get!  

Do I need to be competitive to lose weight?

Often I have found it's the most competitive and driven people who are the most successful at weight loss.  There is just something that drives them to continue to lose.  I am one of the least competitive people there are.  I don't like winning if it means that someone else loses.  But with weight loss, if I win, others can win too.  If I can inspire others that it can be done, then I have helped more than me.  

Why Change Now?

I have been fighting these last 15 lbs since 2003 when I dropped from 170 to 135.  I quickly gained 15 back again and have been fighting "the last 15" for the last 5 years.

Why change now?  Sometimes it's a small flame that starts a fire.  

Two things happened over the last several weeks.  One was a question on a forum I frequent daily (www.mommysavers.com)  The question asked, "What is the first thing you think of when you wake up each day?"   I didn't answer the question but it got me thinking and the next few morning when I got up, I noticed my first few thoughts were always about my weight, "I can't believe I ate that yesterday."  "What can I wear today to camoflauge my thighs?" . These aren't healthy thoughts to have first thing in the morning.  

Then I was listening to a song in the car and the lyrics asked, "Are you who you want to be?"  My answer was no.  I live a great life in so many ways but I'm not who I want to be right now and I don't look how I want to look.  I want more energy, more strength, and I want to be able to feel comfortable in my clothes again.  

This time is different.