OK.. So about a year ago, I went to a weight loss clinic and was prescribed phentermine. You know how when you find something that works, and see results FAST, it gives you motivation to do the right things to go along with it? Well that was the case with me and my phen prescription.
The first few months were absolutely amazing and I loss a ton of weight. Once the phen started to wear off and wasn't working like it did in the past, I lost motivation to continue to keep eating right and go to the gym religiously. Somehow I found a way to mantain my weight for an additional 6-8 months. I would always find a way to lose at least 2-3 pounds for my weigh-ins with my doctor so he'd keep me on the pill. And, to this day, he HAS kept me on the pill. Thank god.
It still helps with my appetite during the day, but it only lasts about 2-3 hours after I take the pill. Therefore, I find my self drinking coffee every morning (even though I hate coffee), to get me through until lunch time without eating. Then at about 12, I'll take my phen, it will last until about 3, and then I'm just tired and cranky. Once that passes, and I'm ready to go home or go to the gym, I'm either tired or lost motivation, or hungry and want to go eat.
For the past few weeks, I've been eating like a maniac. It doesn't matter how full I am or how crappy I feel, I am EATING and drinking bad things! I can't seem to get my stuff together to just say NO to food!!!! I've really been feeling like crap, and looking like crap also. I have my eye on a new person and decided this isn't the time to let myself go!!! Shouldn't that be more motivation?? It's not! Food takes over.
Well screw that, I haven't taken phen for a few days (in hopes that it will work better when I start taking it again), and I've decided today is the day to start again. I just turned 24 last week, and am going to make this a new year for myself! Today is the day I start to eat healthy (not starve myself), and do things I don't want to do (eat right, go to the gym, resist temptation).
I'm making up a few rules for myself..
1. No eating out for lunch Monday - Friday, and if I do, salad's only
2. No eating after 8pm (this will be the hardest for me)
3. Back to eating small meals throughout the day
4. Fish oils or flax seed oils daily
5. Gym twice a week (at least).. even if it means going on a weekend
6. Take Phen on the weekends, thats when I need it most!
7. Try to follow my 1,000 calorie diet as best as possible
Enough rules.. I also thought that if I blogged about how I was feeling and kept it somewhere, it would help me stay on track. Hopefully when I'm going through a fight with myself on whether or not to eat, I can either look back on old blogs about how crappy I feel afterwards and it will change my mind, or just writing down how I'm feeling and how crappy I KNOW I'm going to feel after eating, will also help me not eat!
Okay.. that's it for 9am November 16th.. Wish me luck today!!
