11/10/2008 15:40
EP lunch
I had a terrific lunch with our Bridget this afternoon at Atlanta Bread. Girl lunches always inspire me. She is delightful! Good conversation, great company, and a fresh healthy lunch! I love my EP friends.
Following lunch, I spent about an hour with FG's mom and then went to the fabric store. I love the fabric store. I bought a dust cover for my sewing machine in the hopes of getting it set up again soon. When I called FG and told him what I bought, he asked if we should go to the storage facility and get my sewing table and chair. So we did! So now I'm all set up! The second I pulled that sewing machine out of the box, I felt good. Almost like a relieved feeling. I missed it! I can't wait to sew something.
Today was a good day. I feel happy. Now I just have to do what I can to stay this way.
11/08/2008 22:31
Bond
My niece and I have bonded over the Twilight saga. Today we both finished reading the 12-chapter excerpt to the fifth book, "Midnight Sun" that's posted on the author's website. I've got to admit, I really enjoyed hearing things from Edward's point of view. I'd be surprised if she didn't go ahead and release the finished version after the movie comes out. Although, having read the 12 chapters, I'm more excited about seeing the movie.
Sister and nephew have been having some event-induced depression following the stress over the surgery. Sister called me on Monday and was very sad, and after many suggestions to her of things she could do to feel better, she took my suggestion to read the books I sent my niece. She started with the Hunger Games and has already worked her way through the Twilight books. She's on the last one. I'm shocked she liked them. Every time I call her to see if she's feeling better, she just says, "I can't talk, I'm reading." So I think she's feeling better. Niece even did the dishes yesterday aso my sister didn't have to stop reading. LOL.
I can't seem to find anything that holds my interest the way those books did, so I bought "The Host" a few nights ago in an attempt to locate my "reader's passion." So far, so good. I was only a few chapters into it before deciding to jump into 264 pages of Edward's head.
Clearly, I'm rebelling against working this weekend. Earlier, I felt the pangs of drowsiness and allowed myself a nap!! And I'm feeling mild abandonment issues because FG is leaving on Tuesday for Brussels and then Venice after that. So I get to stay home and work and take care of the house and seven animals while he's off enjoying himself. Ideally, I'd be going with him. For him, this is a working trip (partially) that somebody else is footing the bill for. BUT STILL. I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. I feel bad being stuck HERE when he gets to be THERE. Grrr.
I'm blaming PMS. I'm irritable. Usually when he's out of the country he's working 90% of the time. From the way it sounds this time, he'll be working 10% of the time. I should be happy for him that he gets to see his overseas buddies. I guess I am happy about that. I'm just unhappy because I'll miss him and be lonely. He hasn't left the country in a long time, and I've forgotten what it's like when he's gone. And I hate that I'm feeling left behind.
If he knew how I was feeling, he'd cancel the trip. At one point, he sensed it and said he'd rather not go if it's going to hurt my feelings. So I have to try to stay upbeat. I'm not feeling all that upbeat. My sleep issues have been incredibly intrusive lately, and I feel a little zoned out and detached. pms could be factoring into that. Maybe I just need more sleep.
I ate like crap today, and it's doing nothing for my already-depressed mood.
Oh wait --- before I forget --- change of subject!
Yesterday, at work, I spoke to a woman who goes to little college. She just finished elementary algebra and english comp. (the classes I intend to take) and filled me in on her instructors and her feelings about going back to school after 20 years. She loved her instructors and strongly encouraged me to register for their classes. Not sure I will do that, but it did make me feel a little more at ease about returning to school while holding a job. She didn't seem to think those two classes were all that consuming.
So I guess I'm really excited about school and a little impatient to just get things rolling.
I'm so sorry to those of you who have made it this far in my blog. My brain just isn't working well today, even after my super-long nap this afternoon. I think it might be best to just go to bed, once and for all! Although, a soak in the tub sounds better than bed. Bed will feel better after a soak.
Crap. I just realized I forgot to "soak" the dogs. Looks like I'm up for a while.
11/07/2008 08:54
All the Stuff
Work stuff: Super busy. I've searched deep and found a way to handle it with a positive attitude. More work means more money, and more money means no debt, and no debt means freedom. Free to find a lesser-paying job that might offer a more fulfilling career life, and free to cut back on work and focus on school. Right now my job is an avenue to the things I want out of life. This is what gives me options. As long as I hold my head high and get through it and focus on the goal, someday it will be different.
School stuff: My high school still hasn't cashed my $5 check or sent my transcripts. I'll have to call them. It's beginning to seriously irritate me.
More school stuff: I spent a lot of time online the other night looking at classes and trying to decide what I want to take. Since my algebra skills are so lacking, I have to start with elementary algebra. I'd like to take that on Saturday mornings so I will have time immediately following the class to do any homework that might be required for the week.
I think I'll take music appreciation as an online course so I can involve my musicial FG in my studies and get used to the online structure. Plus, you have to attend three musical events during the semester, and I recognized two on the list from the past semester that FG was involved in. That might be fun.
I'm debating on whether I should take English on Monday nights or online. My gut tells me to do it in person because I anticipate the "in-person" testing part of the online class to conflict with work, and I'm not prepared to get into any conflicts just yet. Plus, I have this whole test-anxiety type of fear of essays and such and it might help me focus to take that class in person. I go back and forth on this. Dedicating that one evening to this class might be structurally better for me than having to sign in four times a week and risk not giving the class enough attention because of work or something. I don't know. :(
That should do it. If all goes well and I can get fully admitted, that's the plan. I guess I should get an appointment with an admissions counselor. I'm running out of time.
Food stuff: Not great. Being tired and getting home late is a bad combination. My lunches are at weird times and my breakfasts aren't consistent, and that sets the stage for disasterous dinnertimes. If I don't get my butt in gear this morning and eat something, today will be another disaster.
Other stuff: pms. tgif.
Extra stuff: FG is still in cleaning mode. He's sorted and organized everything in the house! It's remarkable. I think he feels obligated since his work situation changed. We haven't noticed too much difference in our income or lifestyle, but he has more time available to spend on the house. He also mentioned enjoying the cabin in Gatlinburg so much that he just wanted to enjoy the house more. It's nice. Once work slows down, I'm looking forward to enjoying it, too! lol. Actually, he has a spot cleared in the front room for my sewing machine. I can't wait to set it up and use it!
11/05/2008 10:00
Exhale
I've been holding my breath for days trying to get this big job done. It's done! Sorta. There are always these little loose ends. I'm waiting on one authorization form, and getting that form is the difference between a lot more money or a lot less money. Personally, I'd prefer the "more" money option.
I finished that transcript last night and then did the unthinkable --- I celebrated with food. Big Bad Perkins. However, I only ate about half of what I ordered. It was just too much! I skipped my fries (didn't even want them!), ate my fish, had two forkfulls of FG's potato pancakes (didn't want those either!), and ate half a waffle. Not the best choices, but certainly not nearly as bad as past visits to Perkins. My belly and brain were full. And when we came together and recognized "full," it was time to stop.
Leaving food on my plate is really difficult for me to do unless I'm at the stuffed-sick point. I knew I was getting full and didn't want to cross the line. One thing that differed between full and stuffed was that I was relieved to have my big job finished. If it had been hanging over my head or I'd been avoiding it, dinner might not have gone so well. I was happy and didn't want a bad belly bringing me down.
Yesterday for lunch, I made the limey shrimp chili. It was lovely! Unfortunately, I overcooked the shrimp and it just didn't come together as well as the other recipes. I enjoyed the taste, but the shrimp thing kinda ruined it for me. It actually would have been good over basmati rice. I'm not sure if I'll make it again. The experience would have been more rewarding had my shrimp not been the consistency of rubber.
I got a form letter from little college regarding documents that need to be submitted before they can complete admission. Apparently, my high school doesn't see the importance. The transcripts still haven't been sent. Classes begin in just over two months! Time moves so quickly these days. I wonder if I'll feel like that when I'm actually taking the classes. Yikes! I think I should start with ONE class. Unless, of course, I manage to find a way to quit my job. The past two weeks were so freakin busy. I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd had schoolwork to do, too. I'm afraid of taking on more than I can chew. Although.... I can't imagine that two classes would be much worse than one. We'll see!
11/03/2008 14:17
Delicious
This weekend I made my roasted vegetable chili, and it was sooo goood. Much better the second day. Everything had time to blend. It wasn't very pretty like Shelley's minestrone, but it was chili, and chili isn't supposed to be pretty! I do kinda like pretty food, though.
Today I made sweet potato soup. It, too, is very good and it's beautiful! I think it could use a little pop, though, so I'm going to take a suggestion from the recipe to add a little curry powder to it and see if that won't do the trick.
Still buried under with work. I've almost climbed my way out, though. I am hoping for a slow, slow week. Maybe if it gets REAL slow, I'll do some more cookin'! If it gets busy, though, I'm going to scream. I've been fantasizing about quitting and going to work at a craft store. And then I stop and think about my debt....
I'm trapped!
I better go and eat some of my comfort food. Sweet potato soup!
11/01/2008 19:13
Dumb Idea
Going grocery shopping at 1:00 on a Saturday afternoon is not the best idea. Our little bitty neighborhood grocery store was filled up with people. This means squeezing the cart in and out of tight places in order to get what I need. Shopping with a list is tough because it's hard to just stop the cart in order to review the list. It's tough to concentrate amidst the crowd.
I had trouble finding green salsa, but it's not a big store and maybe it's not a big seller. I ended up buying this lime/tequila salsa. Not sure how that's going to work. I'd like to get a look at the basic green salsa before I improvise.
I spent $101.80, and even got FG some of his weekly eats. I bought a few things that weren't on the list, but I tried to stick to it as much as I could. I could have saved a few dollars if I had checked what food I had in the house before going to the store. That's one thing I remembered to do last time. I'll get better. Proper planning takes some effort.
I better get chopping. I'm going with a roasted vegetable chili tonight. Yum!
11/01/2008 11:19
November? Really?
Halloween is over. I assume that's the case, anyway. I didn't get home from work last night until the trick-or-treating had ended. If the day had gone as expected, I would have been home by noon. (grr!!) Because I've got so much backlog work to do, it was very important I get home as early as possible. Early in the DAY, not early in the NIGHT.
Things don't always go as we expect them to, and now I have to miss my friend's bridal shower tomorrow in order to catch up on stuff. Her shower is 1.5 hours away, so a quick in-and-out is out of the question.
I made another grocery list this morning. It's veggie packed. I've got two different chili recipes from the weight watchers website, and two soup recipes. One is sweet potato and one is pumpkin. I'm hoping to find some time to cook or utilize the crockpot for the chili recipes.
Maybe I could get FG to take care of the groceries while I'm working. But it might be nice to plan one of my breaks to go to the store. That would break up the day quite nicely and maybe the work won't seem as daunting. Yep. That's what I'll do. And then I'll plan another break to prepare one of the recipes. I can cook and still be productive.
10/30/2008 11:27
Thursday stuff
I'm having a tough work week. I can't seem to get enough done. My job yesterday was supposed to last half a day, but instead lasted an entire day and some overtime. The day before was just as long. Today I'll have to spend all day/night working and pray I don't get called out. It's hard to complain about having work, though. Lord knows I could use the money. I still haven't come up with a plan to pay for school. Weeks like this scare me, because I'm so busy and every second is spent working.... I am not sure what I would do with schoolwork. Time will tell.
At the moment, I'm giving myself a fifteen-minute break to plan for a day of success. So far this week, I've been successful with food. I've prepared breakfast, packed lunches, made decent dinner choices, avoided the drive-thru during a craving. I'm way too low on water, though. Unless I have freedom to pee, I am not comfortable overhydrating.
Even though I prefer to eat fresh and healthy at home, I've had to go with Lean Cuisine a few times. I bought a few of the dinners I've never tasted in order to give me some variety. I was impressed! I tried one with fish the other day that was great, and the coating on the fish wasn't soggy or anything. It was really good. The box doesn't make any of them look very appetizing, so I end up sticking with the ones I always buy. I'm glad I deviated from that this week because variety definitely helps curb the boredom.
My nephew is back in school now after having surgery on his leg. He's doing well. The bandages have come off and he hasn't had too much trouble with it other than pain from the incisions. It's hard to tell whether it was successful at this time. His pain didn't really come with a pattern, so we're just waiting to see how it goes. This full week without the pain is pretty promising, though.
I better get back to work. The anxiety is creeping in.
10/27/2008 15:24
Test and Lunch
Last night, FG and I went out to eat. Disasterous. We had to rush out of the restaurant because I thought I was going to be sick. I ended up having to throw the entire night and all the work I had planned to do because I was too sick to sit up. I woke early this morning feeling pretty bad, but I didn't want to miss my placement test and lunch with Tatumsmom. I'd been looking forward to it!
So I sucked it up and went to my test. I did great on reading and writing. I did okay on the pre-algebra portion, but the algebra portion was awful. I've got to start with elementary algebra. With most of the questions, I didn't even try to figure them out. I couldn't remember the formulas.
After that, I met Tatumsmom at Olive Garden for the soup and salad. It was quite enjoyable! We got there early before the lunch crowd, which was a good idea. It was nice to sit and talk and have lunch and not feel sick and glutonous (sp?) afterward. I'm hungry now, though. Seems like I'm always hungry lately. What gives?
Right after I got home, I got a call from work. Somebody called in a write-up that wasn't supposed to be a write-up, and that means I now have even more work to do, and it has to be done by Thursday. I'm kicking myself for not working through the sickness last night. I'm so behind.
I guess I better start working and stop complaining.
10/26/2008 11:47
Mild Success
Last night I was battling a binge. I'd say I had mild success. Although I didn't jump in the car and totally screw myself by giving in, I did make a box dessert at home and had two pieces. Before making it, I ate something healthy, but when that didn't work, I decided to compromise with the enemy and allow myself to have something else. So I decided a pumpkin dessert would be a nice October thing to have. It was good and it halted the desire to binge. Even FG liked it!
He ended up bringing home a cracker/cheese/sausage platter from the restaurant last night because the appetizer the night before made me sick. The cheese platter was filling and I didn't eat much of it. I took note that the majority of the assorted crackers appeared to be wheat or multi-grain. It was pretty good. They didn't give us much sausage, so no worries on going overboard there. Probably had more cheese than was necessary, but I skipped the rolls. It's a process. I'm not perfect.
Today is a new day, and I'm trying to plan my success. I've been avoiding breakfast because we don't have any breakfast food in the house. When I skip breakfast, it just makes it harder on me the rest of the day. Right now I'm hungry and it's hard to think about what we actually do have. I do need to make another list and decide what to do with the coming week. I'm rationing well, but it's dwindling!
