I just did a super scary thing.  I registered FINALLY for a course at little college.  My initial intention was to take three classes this spring, but I started to rethink that because niece was supposed to be here for the month of January, which just added another thing to my plate.  Plus, money is getting very tight, and three classes would be a lot of money.  Unexpected pet emergencies set us back over $600 this month :( 

Anyway, I think I let fear of the unknown and depression get in my way and at one point I thought it would be best to just hold off for a while. 

Then as I'm sitting here today, I'm thinking about how important it is for me to just bite the bullet and do it.  I thought I had to make an appointment with a counselor first (that was another obstacle I let get in my way), so I called and kept getting a busy signal, and then I decided to just register online and see what would happen.  New students are required to see a counselor before they allow you to enroll.  But....  what if I went ahead and registered online?  What's the worst that could happen?  They could tell me I have to see a counselor first? 

So I did it.  And I discovered in the process of online registration that I am not a new student, I am a transfer student with 9 transferring credits from my previous college degree.  I was hoping for more than 9, but 9 is better than none!  What they don't tell me, however, is which classes those are that transferred.  I'll probably have to meet with a counselor for that info.

There are no holds on my status, and I'm free to register for my classes online.  I'm so glad I went ahead and did that.  I feel so much better now.  I even bought my book online, so I'm all set to go!  I'll be taking Elementary Algebra on Saturday mornings.  It's certainly not the three classes I intended to take, but I can get this requirement out of the way while getting my feet wet. 

I might just be too chicken to take a second class right away.  And too broke. 

OMG!  This coming Saturday is the last Saturday I'll be able to sleep in for a while.  I'm excited and terrified.

My sister came down and took niece back with her.  I only had one day with my sis, and that was not enough.  Niece discovered she liked to jog while she was here.  So much so that when I just called her this morning, she had just returned from jogging.  She got up at 7:30 this morning in Wisconsin freezing air and went jogging.  Kinda shocking.  She's a bedbug and rarely rises before noon.  lol.

FG and I have been arguing a bit.  It makes me sad.  I'm hoping we can just get back to normal now that the holidays are over.  He's not used to having company for such a long stretch.  I think it was hard on him having an 18-year-old crashing his crib.  I enjoyed it, though.  Granted, I've had enough 'crying over the BF for having a new GF' to last me a lifetime.  It worked out, though.  I think she had just enough time to collect her thoughts on the situation and deal with it maturely when he called her on New Years Day.  And when the sadness starts to infect her thoughts, she jogs to clear her head. 

FG bought me the Outdoor Challenge game for the Wii.  WOW.  That can get intense.  We had fun playing it, though.  I didn't even mind that I was dripping in sweat.  Even sister joined in while she was here...although, I think she preferred to watch. 

I've neglected my work with having to entertain the kid, so I'll be spending the rest of the day trying to catch up and get back into work mode.  I'm so not in work mode.  I just want to lay my head down and stare at the wall. 

I miss my family.  When I opened the door to niece's room this morning and she wasn't there, I felt sad.  :(  It's always very difficult for me to adjust to family leaving or when I return from a visit to Wisconsin.  It usually takes about a week.  So I suppose this would be a good week to pour myself into work and Wii and get through it.

Yesterday was interesting.  Long story short, my sister's coming down here to get niece and bring her home.  She just can't work through the anxiety that her exBF has a new GF and while he's moving on with his life, her life is on hold.  So her plan is to go home and get a job and let some of her boy "friends" help her through her pain.  She spends most of her time here on the phone or texting, so she hasn't really tried to make the most of her visit.  That's okay, though.  She's young.  She'll be fine.

I have a theory, though.  I'm pretty sure she's got a plan to snag the BF back in her direction and she wants to get things rolling before he's too involved with the new girl.  It's just a hunch.  I can see the wheels turning.  I'm pretty sure she'd like to be putting her plan in place tonight because she wanted her mom to come get her yesterday and bring her back today.  So just like Christmas, New Years is giving her anxiety.

It's a shame that's the case because if she could let it go for an evening, I think she might have fun tonight.  We are going to see some bands downtown, and she'll have a sea of young men to look at all night.  Maybe once she's down there tonight, she'll forget the exBF.

I have to work today, and the location is less than desireable.  I have to go to the deponent's home, and I'm afraid to leave too early and then arrive before the attorney.  I'm not all that excited to go to some stranger's house and try to explain to them what my job is and why I have to be there.  I'd rather leave that to the attorney.

We started painting the room in metallic silver....  FG doesn't like it.  I'm looking at it in the sunlight now, and I don't hate it, but at nighttime, it is very dark and not all that reflective.  We're not sure what we're going to do.  I'm thinking we should just paint it all and get it over with and live with it for a while.  I'll wait til my sister gets here and then ask her.

Gotta run.

Lots going on.  Christmas Eve was great, aside from forgetting to bring FG's presents to his mom's house.  We open the mom gifts at her house, and I had some designated to him from her and forgot to bring them.  So he had one present to open at her house.  I felt soooo awful.   As soon as I realized it, I wanted to be sick.  My whole appetite was shot after that.  I made up for it later with all of his Xmas surprises.  Niece and I got iPod nano's, and also the Wii Outdoor Challenge.  We haven't played that yet.  We did spent a few hours on the Wii fit, though.  Lovin' it!!!

Niece had an anxiety attack brought on by BF trouble and being homesick Thursday night and so I prepared to drive her home Friday morning.  That was the only time window I had, so we had to move fast.  FG and I went to the gas station late that night to put air in the tires to prepare for the drive.  We had to hunt a gas station down with an operable air machine and ended up in a bad area of town.  We had a little stranger-danger safety concern, but due to a very nice fellow citizen who sensed the danger and created a safety barrier, we were able to exit the station safely.

A few hours later, I go to check on niece, and she's on her phone crying.  Bad sign.  So she finishes her conversation and calls me in there and tells me her BF has a new GF.  Yikers.  She says she can't go home and wants to stay here, and the anxiety over not knowing what was going on with him was one of the reasons she wanted to leave.  So she tells me she wants to stay here and keep as busy as possible.  Lots of crying after that.  Yesterday she had a bad day and cried a lot.  Ultimately, she started feeling better, so she and I went to see Marley and Me. 

Today was better.  We went to Shelby Farms and walked and then bought Nike Sport kits for our Nanos and got her a supercute exercise outfit.  When we got home, we grabbed FG and went to see the Benjamin Button movie. 

Tomorrow we're going to do the Wii Fit and then paint the room we primed last week.  I can't remember if I mentioned that we primed a room last week.  We're doing the room in a Ralph Lauren silver metallic.  Fun! 

I'm back on track with diet, and I've been turning down all kinds of goodies.  Just say no!  It feels good.  Nothing fits me right now and I'm wearing the same thing every day.  I hate it.  The Wii fit helped FG get his head in the right place, and the BF breakup with niece has her in workout mode, too.  So it seems we are good to go for now!

So life has been crazy during my vacation week.  Of course that means no time to really rest.  Thankfully, we're slow this week and next, and I'm hoping that means I'll have a couple more days of downtime.  Today isn't one of them, though.  Back to work!  I think I can handle it. 

My trip to Wisconsin had to be shortened due to ice and snow they were predicting in Missouri, which would make driving impossible.  Following that storm, there was one due to hit Wisconsin....  had we stayed longer and tried to wait it out, I think we'd probably still be up there.  So we left early.  I drove up on Monday, got there around 8:00 at night (awful drive), and had to make a quick decision Wednesday morning to get in the car and start driving back.  My nephew wasn't on xmas break yet, so I got to see him very little on Tuesday, but I had time to hug him Wed. morning and tell him I wouldn't be there when he got home from school.  Hate that. 

My parents were supposed to come down to visit on Wednesday, but the snow started coming Tuesday night and we told them to forget it.   Since we left Wed. anyway, it's a good thing they didn't come down.  Spent time with sister, and she hated that we were leaving early.  I was truly torn on whether I should drive back or just stay up there.  It was hard to leave her.  She really wanted me to stay.  She kept saying, "Please don't leave me."  If niece hadn't been there pushing me out the door, I would have stayed.  It was just really tough.  I miss her the most.

I got to see one friend and my tiny little Goddaughter who hasn't grown much since I saw her in April.  She's so cute!!  Unfortunately, I was so focused on the child that I forgot to show my friend my engagement ring.  Can you believe that?  I finally get to Wisconsin and forget to show my maid of honor my ring.  Next time I'll remember, for sure.  At least I got to see her.  I had an appointment with my haircutter friend and I had to cancel due to weather on Tuesday.  Ended up not seeing her at all. 

Niece and I got home late Wednesday night, and I've been on the go ever since.  We managed to slip into the hair salon for some cuts and color.  (I covered my gray! Yay!)  My hair was getting too long to keep any shape or lift.  So I chopped it.  It's super short now.  Much better.  Unfortunately, I still dont want to spend much time "doing" my hair, and this one I have to "do."  I can't seem to get the cut I had a while back that required very little doing. 

I'm done xmas shopping.  Niece is going to be surprised, and I think FG will be too.  His mom should be pretty happy as well.  I think I did a good job.

My diet...  needs work.  That about sums it up.  It's not awful and my choices aren't terrible, but it needs work.  Surprisingly, the few short hours I was in Wisconsin, I managed to log everything I ate.  The drive there and back is what killed me...  especially the drive back.  I eat less when I'm alone.  Niece eats more frequently than I do, she just eats a whole lot less.

I desperately need to get into some routine with eating.  Having three of us in the house with different schedules is tough.  I have a plan I'm going to propose later today.  Dinner should come at the same time every day.  I'm willing to organize that if everyone is willing to eat what I cook.  I think breakfast and lunch should be on our own.  Seems simple enough.  Or I'll give them MY schedule and tell them to work around it.  It's too often I'm hearing, "What do you want to do about food?" I suppose I could make a menu and they could tell me at which meals they will be present.  lol.

We played a Wii game last night.  Niece enjoyed it.  She said she didn't want to play and was going to go to bed, but FG ended up frustrated with the game and handed his controller to her, forcing her to get involved.  It worked.  She stayed up much too late.  lol.  We both did.  I can't wait for xmas so FG can open some of his presents and we will then have more Wii games to play.

That's about it.  Aside from a lot of shopping, nothing much else is happening.  I didn't get to sew my quilt, but niece is interested in sewing one for herself, so that might get the ball rolling. 

If I don't find time to get on here tomorrow, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas.  Be safe and warm!

I rejoined WW today.  With a bazillion other things I have to do today, I absolutely wasn't going to excuse myself from the most important thing.

My weight....  is UP.  We knew that.  It's REALLY FAR up.  Just like my walk with Bridget on Friday, this is a starting point.  Where it goes from here is up to me.

I only recognized two faces from the last time I was there.  One of those faces just rejoined last week.  Our location doesn't start the new Momentum plan until January.  Val mentioned this on her blog, but I can't remember if she said they had started it or not.  It might be good that I'll have a few weeks on the familiar plan to get my head straight and then switch over to the new plan.  It will keep things interesting for a while.

So I'm back to logging in my quik-trak and I'll be reading my Book 1, cover to cover.   Here's the plan:  I won't be weighing myself at all on my own.  No BANs.  I'm going to go to WW on a week-to-week basis, and I'll be weighed at that time and only that time.  I'm not signing up for any of the 12-week specials or 6-week specials because I find that just makes my one-week goal a 12-week or 6-week goal.  For some reason, I feel like I have more time to make up for my mistakes.  I'm also not going to use the 12-week journal.  Each week is a new week to learn new things.  I'll keep my quik-traks handy if I need to refer back, but things are being scaled back to weekly. 

Those little things that add up, whether for good or for bad, are more manageable on a weekly scale.  Things get complicated after that, and my brain needs to focus on attainable goals.

So there you have it.  I feel better now that I have a plan and a time to report in next Sunday.  Accountability! 

Bridget and I celebrated our birthdays today!  Mine is tomorrow and hers was last Sunday.  She met me at Burlington Coat Factory and tried to help me find a winter coat.  That was harder than I imagined.  It would be *me* who would have a problem finding a coat at a store that is filled with coats.  But whatever.   I found a suitable coat, and although it's ugly, it is comfortable.

We had lunch at McAllisters and then went walking at Shelby Farms.  I have the blisters to prove it.  So I guess my new shoes (that I bought in July) aren't all that comfy.  Or maybe my feet just can't take my weight.  lol.  The important thing is that she introduced me to a great place to get my exercise and today I got some fresh air and exercise.  Now, the walk itself brought up a lot of issues for me.  My body is not what it once was, and it's going to take determination and perseverence to get it back to where it should be.  At least I have a starting point. 

We met up again this evening to have dinner and listen to one of FG's friends sing.  Dinner was great.  Music was great.  I had a fabulous birthday, and I didn't even have any cake!   And I never even thought about it until this very moment.  And I don't even want any!

Depending on how irresponsible I feel tomorrow, we might meet up again to go shopping.  I'm still tinkering with some work I have to finish and the house needs a cleaning.  I'd hate for it to be this bad when niece gets here.

Shopping sounds like more fun, doesn't it?  hehehe.  I definitely need to find some clothes that are suitable for walking.   What I wore today definitely didn't cut it.   

I've been saying this forever, but I'm going to go back to weight watchers on Sunday.  I hate joining at this time of year because it's always so crowded, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.  This I must do.  I think having my WW info with me during my trip to Wisconsin will help keep me on track.  During my last visit home, all I did was eat, and I never went back to WW once I got home.  So it seems like this is the right time for me to join.

It looks like instead of waiting for January, my niece will be here next week!  A week from today, to be exact.  And I will have travelled outside of my comfort-vacation zone to go get her.

Yes, that's right.  She is impatient and I volunteered my restful vacation to drive up there and get her.  I'm not sure I'll get to see my parents because they live 3 hours away from my sister and my mom has to work, but I'll get to see my sister, nephew, goddaughter, matron of honor (if i ever decide to have that wedding), and perhaps I'll even have my other friend trim my hair.  It hasn't been trimmed since my last visit home in April. 

So the trip north will be quick because I'll want to get her back here so I can spend a few of those vacation days helping her acclimate to Memphis.  Ideally, I'd leave Saturday to get her, but FG is out of town until Monday and we don't want to pay a pet sitter.  So I'll leave on Monday and return on Thursday.  That will give me two full days to hug everyone and then I'll have four days left of vacation to rest.

Last night I checked the weather for my driving days.  It was supposed to be snowing down here AND up there, which means my drive would be miserable and dangerous.  I was all worried about it and nerves kept me up half the night.  Plus, it hardly ever snows here, and I would hate to miss it.  It would be so nice to curl up under a blanket with a book and watch the snow out the window and have nowhere to go.  Unless, of course, I decided to suit up and head to Shelby Farms for a wintery walk.  Yep.  That would make for just the vacation I was planning on!  So part of me was bummed about that.  The other part of me was excited to see REAL snow in Wisconsin AND get to see family and friends.  Plus, I'd be bringing niece home with me!  Since I'm always making the drive alone, it will be a nice change to have someone to talk to on that wickedly long drive.  (I just checked the weather again, and it looks like there isn't going to be as much snow as they were predicting earlier.  That means safer and easier driving.)

I'm excited about niece coming.  I have no idea how long she's going to stay, but we've just left that open-ended.  FG was up all night getting her room ready.  His stuff was exploding all over that room.  Truth be told, I'm a little glad he's forced to figure something else out.  My sewing table was turning into a catch-all for his miscellaneous stuff.  lol.  That CANNOT happen, okay?! 

It seems I excused myself from exercising last night.  Yes, indeedy.  Is anyone surprised?  I didn't think so.

I took a nap after writing my last post and didn't get up until 8:00...  that's a 3-hour nap at nighttime.  Dumb Dumb Dumb.  FG came home about that time and exercise was forgotten.  The nap completely screwed me up.  I got into bed around 2:00 a.m., but couldn't fall asleep until around 4:00 or later.  When my alarm went off, I could have thrown it across the room.   I'm looking at how comfy my cat looks all rolled up and peaceful in the pet bed, and all I want to do is get down there with her.

Another wet and dreary day in Memphis.  In spite of the rain and sleepiness, I actually have a positive outlook on the day.  Being on-call sucks, but my job today is with a nice and slow-talking attorney, and it's supposed to be real short.  That pleases me :)  I'm hardly even focusing on the fact that the deponent is a doctor and English isn't his first language.  :)  See?  I'm smiling anyway!  lol.

So I'm thinking about what I can do to help myself achieve my goals.  I have a salad in the fridge and plan on having that for lunch.  Breakfast?   No milk, no bread, no eggs....  I'll see how creative I can be.  I love a challenge.  Dinner will probably be Jimmy Johns since I'll be out that way.  I never have a problem ordering properly there, and they have nutritional info on their website.  I love that.

Work goals:  I have about 5 hours before I need to shift gears and head to my job.  I'd like to solidly work for 4 of those 5 hours.  The less work I have to do next week, the better.

The Good:  My niece wants to come visit for the entire month of January.  How great is that?!  She's decided to take some time off school to think about what she might like to do.  She's had a tough 2008.  She switched high schools in the middle of her senior year.  Following graduation, she was working as a CNA in a nursing home and going to nursing school full time, helping take care of my nephew during his difficult year, and then watching her mom go through a tough time, not to mention a recent breakup with the boy she's been dating for three years. 

She's not sure nursing is for her.  So she wants to see Memphis and spend a little time in another city.  I'm encouraging that.  I think right now we could all use a break.  I know I would love having her to myself for a while.  I've missed her terribly during her teen years.  They get so distant when they are teenagers.  I'm glad that now she's 18, she's settling back into family relationships. 

The Bad:  My future MIL is ill.  As soon as I got done with work, I had a message on my phone to hurry up and get over to her house.  FG was already there.  We think she probably has a stomach flu, but she's barely getting around.  I'm home now and waiting to see when FG is going to call and request I bring him some clothes so he can spend the night. 

I'm still planning to exercise tonight, but not with the Wii.  I'm not sure what I need to push on the television and FG isn't here to set it all up for me.

I'm really tired.  I hope I'm not catching what FG and his mom have.  That would seriously suck seeing how my "vacation" starts on Friday. 

Speaking of which...  I'm planning to hit Shelby Farms with Bridget this Friday.  I kindly requested my lunch buddies nudge me in the right direction, so being the intimidated chicken that I am, Bridget is going to hold my hand and introduce me to Shelby Farms.  LOL.  Thanks Bridg ;) 

I've got to take some time to make a plan for my week off.  I'd like to use that week as a focus to get back on track. 

When is it going to stop raining?  Jeez.  It hasn't let up all day and it's remained as dark as ever outside.  It doesn't really feel like we had a "day"time.