10/05/2010 00:16
Brushing off the dust
I'm brushing off the dust and jumping back on my horse. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get control of it. I know it's possible. I've done it before. There was a time when I was rockin it pretty well and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. And then it just came crashing down. And picking up the pieces can be so hard.
Do I have what it takes to pick up the pieces and have a healthy life? I know I have it. Why I keep screwing it up is beyond me.
I haven't felt like blogging. I still don't. I'm not sure why I'm trying to do it, because I don't want to bring anyone down, but DAMN, I'm gloomy. Maybe it's PMS. Kinda feels like PMS.
Just checked my tracker on my iphone, and it does, indeed, seem to be PMS. What a relief. That means this will pass in a few days.
I'm crockpotting today. As long as there is good food in the house that is already prepared, I'm not likely to go out to get the bad stuff.
On a slightly more positive note, it was chilly today. The kind of chilly that confirms a seasonal shift. I'm also going back to having Mondays off work unless I have to fill in for someone. So today was my first Monday off, and now I remember why I liked it so much. Monday is my "prepare for the week" day!
Monday is the day I do laundry and cook and even do some cleaning! My life is better when I don't work on Monday. When I work on Mondays, I don't ever seem to recover. I get tired on Mondays and I use the rest of the week trying to get ahead of my exhaustion. I blame it on my sleep disorder.
I'm not sure what I need to do, but R thinks that because of the sleep disorder, I might be better off letting my body dictate my day. That means taking a nap and adjusting my work schedule to accommodate. So that's what we're trying. I'm lucky to work for people who are willing to work with me. I may work an extra day and just do shorter days, or taking off on Monday may be enough to help. We'll see.
R will be leaving for a while with work, and that will give me time to figure it out while he's gone. If I can get a good routine going, it might be enough to stick after he gets home. Maybe I can make a chart or something. Might help him when he gets back if I've made some notes on what works and what doesn't.
I'm rambling now. It's because I need a nap. So I guess I better go do that now.