09/23/2010 01:33
Will I succeed?
I cannot answer that question. What measures success? I've lost weight in the past and gained it back. So I guess you could say I was equally successful at both, and yet failed them just as equally.
All I have is right now. And I can definitively say, "eating successfully today makes me want to do it again tomorrow."
My body felt like it was doing all of the right things today. I didn't feel sluggish and sore. My back didn't hurt, and my legs carried me easily. There wasn't the heaviness that usually comes after lunch. I stayed full longer after the oatmeal breakfast. My focus at work today was good.
So even though I'm just using the WHF's feel-great plan as a guide, I'd say it's guiding me right to where I need to be to keep going. Improvising keeps things interesting. Instead of thinking about what I'm hungry for and never being satisfied, my quest is to match my meal as closely as possible to the "guide."
I am so sick of feeling heavy and sore and incapable and unattractive and weak and sad. Sitting around and waiting for the feeling to hit me isn't working. Do you know the feeling I'm speaking of? The one where, all of a sudden, you have the energy and motivation to get up and get it done? I am now absolutely certain that I have to go get that feeling because it sure as heck isn't coming to get me! Lord knows I've been waiting. Just staring at the wall.... and waiting.....
I'm not going to do this as perfectly as I want to. In a perfect world, I would jump out of bed and get on the treadmill, or go for a jog, or head to the gym, and smile all day long as I prepare healthy and delicious foods for each meal.
In the real world, I have narcolepsy, wake up foggy no matter how long I've slept, can't collect my thoughts enough to prepare the proper food at every meal on every day, am too broke for the gym, favor a nap over the treadmill.....
All I have is right now. My eyes are droopy and all I can think of is bed. But one thing is for sure... I will close my eyes with the peace of knowing I treated my body with respect today.
And then I will remember how broke I am and raid the kitchen for sweets!
haha.
just kidding!
