Trying to get Control!

out of control

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 21:00:19

Well, it has been over a week since I wrote down anything I have eaten. I don't know why eating controls my life. I feel out of control. I know I eat to live not live to eat. I know I cannot be the only one that goes through this. Is there anything that makes weight control easier to live with.

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Another day

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 23:08:19

It is going well so far. I am weighing in tomorrow. I hope I have lost or at least stayed the same. The last four weeks I have gained.

About four and half years ago. I topped the scale at 261.75. I was able to get to 187. Now I am back to 207. I feel I struggle and worry more now about my weight than I did at 261. Do we ever become comfortable about our bodies? Coming from a family ex.( mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) that deals everyday with obesity. I wonder if it is learned behavior or some genetics.

I cannot give up on me. My mother tells me I am beautiful and that I should be happy with myself. I want to be happy. I just can't. Seeing my mother battle her weight all her life. I do not want it to consume my life. I think if I live to be 75 do I still want to worry about. I have to Make The Lifestyle Change.

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How many times does it take?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 23:07:23

Today, as I say everyday I am going to do the right thing and watch what I eat today. However, I do start out very well, then evening comes around and I go insane. I do not know what overtakes me that I continue to eat everything until I get ready for bed. It makes me sooo sad because the eating controls me, not me controlling the food. I have struggle for so long. Any support or ideas would be greatly appreciated

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