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Height:
|
|
|
Start weight: |
207.00lb |
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Current weight: |
205.00lb |
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Goal weight: |
155.00lb |
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Lost to date: |
2.00lb |
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Remaining: |
50.00lb |
| 10 |
| October '08 |
| < | October | > | ||||
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |||
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | |
Well, it has been over a week since I wrote down anything I have eaten. I don't know why eating controls my life. I feel out of control. I know I eat to live not live to eat. I know I cannot be the only one that goes through this. Is there anything that makes weight control easier to live with.
It is going well so far. I am weighing in tomorrow. I hope I have lost or at least stayed the same. The last four weeks I have gained.
About four and half years ago. I topped the scale at 261.75. I was able to get to 187. Now I am back to 207. I feel I struggle and worry more now about my weight than I did at 261. Do we ever become comfortable about our bodies? Coming from a family ex.( mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) that deals everyday with obesity. I wonder if it is learned behavior or some genetics.
I cannot give up on me. My mother tells me I am beautiful and that I should be happy with myself. I want to be happy. I just can't. Seeing my mother battle her weight all her life. I do not want it to consume my life. I think if I live to be 75 do I still want to worry about. I have to Make The Lifestyle Change.
Today, as I say everyday I am going to do the right thing and watch what I eat today. However, I do start out very well, then evening comes around and I go insane. I do not know what overtakes me that I continue to eat everything until I get ready for bed. It makes me sooo sad because the eating controls me, not me controlling the food. I have struggle for so long. Any support or ideas would be greatly appreciated
