What the heck?!?!?!!!!!

Weighed myself this morning and was 170.8.... what the heck?!?!! GRRRRR mad mad mad. I seriously don't know what else I can do. I am down 20 lbs since september '09 but I have been between 170 and 175 for the past.... 5 months? Part of those 5 months I wasn't really giving it my all and wasnt focused on losing, but even when I am really focused I still stay the same. It doesnt matter what I do, I am just stuck. I've tried eating more, I've tried eating less, I've tried upping the cardio, i've tried upping the strength training.... I just don't know what to do anymore. I am annoyed. I have been going to bootcamp (which I love by the way) 4 days a week, doing p90x or some sort of cardio 2 other days a week, stretching every day, AND I have been really focusing on my diet... but nope, my body hates me and wants me to stay above 170 forever.

Why am I awake!?!

Well today is my day off from bootcamp, so I am not really sure what I am doing awake at 5:00 am today when I don't have to be... but I think I am going to go to the gym to get my workout out of the way. I think i'll swim today, havn't been in the pool in over a week! I feel like I am drying up haha. Tonight I have plans to go see Sex and The City 2 with my best girlfriend at the Castro Theatre (btw, the Castro District of San Francisco is the largest and most well known gay district in the world.... so Sex and The City isn't just a movie, it is an event! haha), and then go out for dinner and cocktails after at this cool new french bistro that just opened. Not really sure my plan of attack for that. I know that I can't have more then one drink, or else i'll feel like crap in the morning for bootcamp, but then I am even wondering if just one is even worth it. Well we will see.

what a beautiful day!

So I am up in the city for this weekend housesitting at my brother's apartment. Nothing really needs to be "sat", but it just gives me an excuse to come up here and be on my own for a whole weekend with no one to bother me or tell me what to do or when to do it... I love it. Anyways, it is a BEAUTIFUL day out today! San Francisco is perfect, because it gets really really sunny and clear, but never too hot or muggy, there is always a perfect breeze.... which means perfect jogging weather! I just got back from a run/hike up to the top of Twin Peaks... which has the 360 degree perfect views of the city. It was the perfect workout because it has a little bit of everything- hills, paved running, trail running, and lots and lots of stairs to climb. fun fun. 

I beat a boy :)

Sooooo... little bragging on my part today.... We had our "plank Challenge" in bootcamp today, and it became a showdown between this one man (who is a returning camper by the way) and I! lol everyone else went down between 50 seconds and 2 minutes 30 seconds, and then this one guy and I stayed up for over 3 minutes with everyone watching us lol. Anywhoooo, guess who won? Me!  He made it to 3:15... and then I went down at 3:17. hehe I beat a boy.

New shoes

I got fitted for new running shoes a few days ago and omg... it was the best thing I ever did for myself. The shoes are amazing and soooooo comfy, and keep my ankles/arch stable (my right ankle collapses in when I run... that is why I have had shin splints and plantaar facciitis and knee ploblems and all that weird stuff). The only problem is that they didnt come in pink  haha.

BootcampSF

Eeek. So I just signed up for a 6 week bootcamp class. It starts on May 24 and ends July 3, so just in time for my Forth of July VEGAS VACATION! yee! I am super nervous though, it meets every monday, tuesday, thursday, and friday with an opptional saturday class at 6:30 AM! Super SUPER early for me.... but you can do anything for 6 weeks right?  When we meet on monday, we are all going to have to run to see what fitness group they want to put us in.... I am in pretty good shape, but I am NOT a runner.... I run about a 11-12 minute mile (but I can keep that pace for long distance which is good I guess). I just hope I am not the last one! Anyways, I am excited to meet some new people and get my butt kicked :)

really exciting news for me

So I wanted to share some exciting news for me. So I just started my new job a few days ago at the rehabilitation/Physical therapy center at the hospital as a lifeguard/emergency response. They already offered me a raise, more hours, and another/different part time position as a PTaide/exercise assistant. Basically, what that means is that 1) They love me lol 2) benefits and 3) they told me that they really see potential in me going on to do PT and they would love to have me as a part of their team. They said that if everything goes well and I start off as an aide and want to do the coursework to do PTA, then they will pay for me to do the schooling AND I will have a job with them.

I am just so excited because I have been sooooo confused and frustrated about my education and future. But I really think this could be something that is meant for me... especially if they actually went out of their way and came to me to offer me this opportunity. It just kind of shows me that having this personal experience and passion for my health and fitness (even though I am still working on it) really shows through and benefits me not only in my personal life, but in my career life as well.

freakin' men (it is long... sorry, just gotta get it out)

Ok..... I am seriously done dating.... for forever! It is just getting to be a big pain in the butt. The one's I am interested in always end up totally blowing me off, and then the one's I am not so interested in always end up falling in love with me and then I have to be the "heart breaker" (yea, some guy actually told me that) and then I look like the bad guy.  

Let me just give you JUST A FEW (out of many) examples on why I am very quickly losing my faith in all men right now (sorry, I am detail oriented, so it is going to be long).

1) So this guy I have been dating for like a month, the one I was having doubts about because of his age/distance/child/etc, just all of a sudden STOPPED calling. I saw him on a wednesday (like 2 weeks ago), and it was awful... all i did was lay in his bed while he worked in the other room.... total bore-fest. Then of COURSE I got upset. I wasn't even that bitchy though, I was just upset... and i cried in front of him for like a second, but that is all.... and then I apologized to him! I said "Oh, i'm sorry, im just really stressed out lately and I am PMSing, don't mind me." I didn't call him for a few days.... but that didn't mean I didn't want him to call me. So he hasnt called, texted, emailed, answered my calls or texts since then. So I called him on a blocked number today and he freaking answered the phone! I had to trick him into talking to me! I just couldn't believe it..... and THEN he tries to talk to me like nothing is wrong.... like,

A: Ohhhhh heeeey Jess! 

Me: Hi.

A: How is you're new job going? 

Me: Fine.

A: How is school? I know you were a little stressed out the last time we talked

Me: It is good.

A: Hey, sorry I never called you back, i've been suuuuuper busy. 

Me: You've been busy???

A: ummm. yes. you know, with the cars and stuff. So anyways, what have you been up to??

Me: nothing. I need to go to the gym. I was just calling to see if you were still alive.

Are you kidding me?!? What the heck was that? I mean, there is obviously nothing wrong with me, but I would really like to know what is wrong with him for being such a butthead. 

2) There is also this boy that I went on a few dates with a few years back that i am totally not interested in like that (he is nice, but he is a whiney wimp a lot of the time). He always calls me still, and always asks me to do stuff with him, and I always say, "ook, but just as friends right?" and he will say yea yea yea of course. So he got this new girlfriend and I thought, "great, he is finally over me, now i don't have to worry about it", so then he calls me the other night professing his love for me and I say "NO! this is unacceptable. I don't like you like that and you have a girlfriend!" and then he starts crying. CRYING. So... not... attractive...

3) Ex BF of 3 years, doucher ugly face Ryan STILL calls me (2 years later) and tells me I am the best thing that ever happened to him and I am the only one that believes in him and I was so good to him and every girl he dates he compares to me and I will always be the love of his life, etc, etc. And, I know that all of that is true, but it is just like get over it! Even if you hadnt have cheated on me with that disgusting toothless girl that you met off of craigslist, and even if you hadn't had disgusting pictures of naked girls on your phone (who he claimed we "just friends" and that they were "crazy and in love" with him... he couldn't help it if they sent him naked pictures), and even if you didn't have some pretend online love fantasy with some beezy in Florida, you would still be living with your parents, and you would still be ugly, and you would still be dumb as a stump, and you would still be a washed up college baseball player working at Baskin Robins, and I would have still broken up with you anyway.... so ummm.... NO THANK YOU!

4) Recently went on a date. It went good. Flirted, hugged, he was cute, I am cute... all that good stuff. Lunch- he paid, went for a walk- he picked me a flower and held my hand, sat by the beach- he put his arm around me... all tell tale signs things are going well. He also said (an exact quote) "This is really nice, you are a really good date ". Havnt heard from him in a few days, but no biggie, so I thought I would call him....

Me: Hey, so I had fun the other day and I wanted to thank you again.

N: No problem, I had a lot of fun too

Me: So do you think you would want to see me again?

N: Possibly, I am not sure when I could though

Me: Oh well I am driving through on Friday, so I thought I could make a pit stop to see you and we could go see a movie or have lunch or something

N: I will let you know, I think I have plans, but I will let you know for sure if I do.

Ok... ummmm..... SHADY! whatever. I am done. Done. done. DONE. I would just like to say that I am a catch, and I know I am a catch... and I do not put up with shit anymore.... and since guys are all full of caca bologna, i am done with them. So.... Unless I meet Mike from the Biggest Loser, I am not going out on any more dates ever. 

eek! I'm nervous!

My class just got cancelled today, so no school for me! yay! I love it when that happens. 

p90x is trying to kill me

So I didn't workout yesterday because my arm is KILLING me from a tetanus shot I had to get from work, and my feet were killing me even more from wearing those stupid sandals on friday. So, instead of working out, I got a manicure/pedicure with extra massage, and then I went to Teacake, which is my all time favorite cupcake bakery. I ended up getting a Madagascar Vanilla Vanilla cupcake and it was soooooo delicious.... mmmmm.... I totally savored it, and I stayed within my daily calories.