so basically, i never wear jeans. None of my old jeans fit me (most of them are about a size 10 or 30/31 european sizes), about 6 months ago (when i was at my biggest) I bought one pair of FAT ASS OLD LADY jeans that like go all the way past my belly button and are way too big on me now, and i refuse to buy new ones. This whole summer all I wear is my lifeguarding attire, a bathing suit, or, if i do go out, i'll wear a sundress. Anyways, so I decided to go out, find a cheap pair of jeans (I am sorry, but i am not going to spend over $100 of a pair of pants if I plan on losing more weight) just so I don't have to look like a complete frump anymore. I went to Macy's and I was looking through some of the pants and there were these cute black jeans with some yellow stitching. I try on a size 12 and I really did not think they were going to fit but they were actually too big, so then i get the same pair in a size 10 and they were totally cute on me! And they were only $50. lol so anyways, the brand of them is called "Apple Bottoms".... and basically they are made for.... ladies with a larger bum I guess you could say. I think that is why they fit me so well, because they were bigger around the thighs, and, even though i have the flattest butt in the world, I do have bigger hips. Basically, you would not normally see this brand being worn by a white girl like myself. Anyways, moral of my story is..... you just gotta work with what you have and try new things.... even if it is totally out of the ordinary haha.
ok, so almost every time I drink, the morning after, I wake up and I say "omg, what did i do?!?!" I am either so hung over i can barely move, i remember doing something totally stupid and unlike me from the night before, i am pissed because of all of the thousands of calories i consumed, I don't remember half of the night, or I manage to seriously hurt myself. When i am out to dinner with my family or just hanging out casually, i am fine. We will drink A LOT of wine and maybe a cocktail or 2, but it will be over a LONG dinner.... totally italian style. BUT when I get around my friends, i just cannot control myself. It is usually when I feel uncomfortable I will just keep drinking and keep drinking until i am (pardon the expression) "shitfaced". Anyways, so last time I was totally drunk, I dropped a bottle of alcohol on my mom's rug and i sliced my finger on the glass and got blood EVERYWHERE. Last night when I got drunk I managed to slice the tip of my finger off with a razor (I carry a shaving razor in my purse because of work.... you know, in case i need to do emergancy shaving my legs or something lol) and I couldnt even believe how much blood came out of me. It hurts soooooo bad. We called the after hours clinic and they said that there was nothing really we could do because it wasnt bad enough (meaning i didnt have a chunk of finger they could sew back on me..... ewwww) but to come in if it didnt stop bleeding. Basically it didn't stop bleeding for 2 hours, but it did eventually stop. My mom poured hydrogen peroxide on it.... and boy, did that sober me up pretty fast. I really just think I need to take a break for awhile. I love how I am trying to get myself healthy and fit, and I work so hard at it, and then I sabotage myself by binge drinking and screwing up my metabolism. It really totally is upsetting to me. It worries me because I know that I eat for emotional reasons, and now I am seeing a trend where I am drinking for emotional reasons also and that is obviously a major problem, especially with the alcoholism that runs in my family (basically everyone in both my parents families, besides actually my parents). It is just a wake up call, I need to stop being stupid and take control of my actions a little (or actually, a lot) better.
Anyways, this post is totally a downer..... i DID actually have a great birthday besides losing part of a finger. i'll tell ya'll about it in a separate post a little later. Also, thank ya'll for the birthday wishes, they totally made me smile
So like I said in my last post, today is my birthday (the big 2-0.... bye bye to my teens) it also means that I have been using phentermine for one month. I did not reach my goal of 166 lbs, however I did make it to the 160's at 169.5. I was also pleasantly surprised with my inches lost. I know I can do better though, so my plan is to stay focused, work out more, and really give it my all.
STATS and PROGRESS:
Start (July 1, 2008) Now (August 2, 2008)
176.8 lbs and 36.1% body fat 169.5 and 33.9% body fat
Bicept- 14.0 13.0 (1 inch lost)
Chest (across nipple line)- 41.6 40.5 (1.1 inch lost)
Back (right under breasts)- 36.0 44.0 (2 inch lost)
Waist (natural)- 35.0 32.2 (2.8 inch lost)
Stomach (around belly button)- 43.7 41.0 (2.7 inch lost)
Hips- 44.5 43.5 (1 inch lost)
Thigh- 26.6 26.0 (0.6 inch lost)
GOALS FOR THIS MONTH:
By September 6, 2008, I will be under 160 lbs (which means a 10 lbs loss)
By September 6, 2008, I will lose equal to, or more than, the amount of inches I lost this month
By September 6, 2008, my body fat percentage will be under 30%.
So tomorrow is my birthday, and it also means that I have been on phentermine for one month. I am going to weigh myself and measure myself tomorrow to see my progress, but to be honest, the past few weeks have been pretty bad with eating and i am 99% sure that I did not reach my goal for this month. Some days I will hardly eat anything, and other days I will just totally binge. I know it is because of stress. Phen does stop the hunger, and when I am focused it really helps me, but when I am stressed out and tired, it does not stop my emotional attachment to food. I have been swimming A LOT, which i am really proud of, but i gotta start mixing it up a little I think, and focus on my weight lifting. I have one month before I go to London, and I am really aiming for 10 lbs... but more importantly, I am really aiming on toning my body and losing inches. I'll post my stats tomorrow.
so I went to work early this morning so I could swim for a little bit.... i was planning a 20 minute swim BUT after the first 20 minutes, no one was at the pool yet, so i decided to swim some more.... and then before I knew it, I had swam for 1 hour and 140 laps! That is 1.8 miles. craziness. I probably havn't done that in about a year so I was really excited. I am so proud of myself.
wowwyy i am so sore today and I am totally lovin' it from my upper body work out last night. Today went OK on BFL, my diet wasnt perfect because i went out to lunch with some coworkers to sushi, and they didnt have brown rice, but it's ok, it was sooooo good. Tomorrow I am going to walk to work and home from work AND I am going to go to the gym. I WILL GO TO THE GYM TOMORROW EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. I really need to force myself to go back, i am kind of embarrassed though, but I need to do it.
yay for Body for Life! I am so excited to get back to doing the program and really give it my all. I have exactly 7 weeks until I am leaving for London, and I know if I stick to the program and work really hard at it, I will definitely see a big difference in my body by the time I leave. My goal is to lose 12 lbs by September 6th, and 20 lbs by the end of the 12 weeks..... which is just in time for my 4 day weekend in Prague. Horray.
Anyways, today went great. I made lots of food to have on hand for the rest of the week. I made brown rice, flax seed muffins, high protein waffles (i can just stick them in the toaster to heat them up). I stayed positive all day and stuck to my plan. As far as my diet went, I ate about 1300 calories and my protein/carb/fat ratio was about 35/35/30.... with no refined sugars and only "healthy fats".... which is pretty good if you ask me. I could have probably drank more water and I forgot to take my multivitamin. My plan for tomorrow is to do a little power walk/jog to work in the morning to get my HIIT in for the day (I am still putting off going to the gym and i dont know why!!!), and then walk home.
so I weighed in today. I totally pigged out the last 2 days but I did lose a pound this week. I was hoping for more, even though I didnt deserve more. This week my goal is to lose 3 lbs. I am going to work out this week if it is the last thing I do. I don't know why I keep putting off going to the gym STILL! It is frustrating me. I say I am going to do it, and then I just don't.
So i totally pigged out today. I don't even know why. I took my phen (1/2 a pill today) and I wasnt hungry really, but when I came home from work I totally pulled one of my binge eating episodes. It's like a become crazed and I will just start opening things and putting them in my mouth without even thinking. Then I went out for thai food and I had more then i needed to. I think I am just very tired... and i was pissed because ryan kept texting me all day, so i turned to food. Anyways, my weigh in is tomorrow, so I guess we will see what kind of damage i tonight. Last week I weighed 172, this week I hope to be below 170
