I dont want to skip a day just because i was "bad"... I want to write it down so everyone can see it and so I dont pretend like it never happened... ya know? Anyways with that said, I had a crazy night last night. I went to go visit my friend down in san jose and we stayed up until 5:30 in the morning watching The L-Word. We made dinner and we made dessert and we made jello shots (my specialty lol). I knew that I didnt eat very good, but when I added up all of the points, I ate over 40 points! I've only used one flexi point this week so I had them to spare, and I have been working out (but i'm trying not to count them as extra points), but I still just want to be really good for the next few days (I weigh in on monday).
I've figured out a REALLY big problem that i never realized i did until last night I am a midnight snacker. At like 12 o'clock am i found myself hunting around the kitchen for something yummy to eat, and then I thought about it and I realized that lately (since ive been gaining weight) ive been doing that A LOT... so i left the kitchen and went to sleep. I never use to be a midnight snacker but I think it is a habit i picked up with all the late nights of studying ive been doing since I started college... and I also think it has to do with no one seeing me do it, so i dont think it counts (weird huh?) so that needs to definately stop right away.
I TOTALLY miss my boyfriend right now... he left for hawaii with his family only a few days ago and it seriously feels like my heart is hurting without him, it is so weird. It is a side affect of love I guess. Usually, all of my free time goes towards hanging out with him. Without him it is like hard to know what to do with myself lol. I've been working out a lot though... which is good, and I'm going to keep it up even when he gets back, I need to make it a priority in my life again, like it was in high school.
Breakfast
1 grande soy latte 22 - 5
Lunch
-8 pieces sushi 17 - 6
-1 "cutie" 11 - 1
Dinner
-WW mac & cheese 10 - 5
-soy hot dog 5 - 3
Snack
-Tea w/ milk &honey 2 - 3
Total: -1 points
Workout
-Speed Walking- 1h45min/7miles/900cal (I increased my speed from yesterday... yay!)
I went and got my gym membership up and running again. I had been running and walking outside every so often but its been sooooo cold I just really needed to spend the extra money for the membership. I also started journaling everything I ate today.... I am just using the WW points system cuz its easy to keep track of. I havnt ate all of my points yet so i dunno what ill have for a snack yet... but here is my day so far....
Breakfast/Lunch start: 22 pt
Mini Bagel 1 pt
lox and cream cheese 2 pt
1 egg 2 pt
1/2 banana 1 pt
Snack 18 pt
tangello (yummmmy) 1 pt
Dinner 17 pt
2 pieces Low Cal Whole Wheat 3 pt
2 oz crab salad 4 pt
1 piece cheese 3 pt
Snack
Chocolate milk 7 pt
Total: 0
Work Out:
10K Walk 6 min cool down- 1h45min/855calories/6.55mi
so I'm not big into New Year's Resolutions... I kind of think it puts a curse on whatever I am trying to achieve lol. so I'm pretending like today is just another day and not making any special goals just because it is a New Year. My weight problem and eating addiction is a lifelong thing that will never be solved in a year (yea, I could lose 50 lbs in a year.... but it takes every day to keep it that way). Anyway, I signed up to do the 12-week challenge starting January 7, which I am super excited about... it really is going to be a challenge for me though. I am thinking about joining Weight Watchers again... but I dont know. This is super hard for me because it is something that I WANT, I really want to lose weight, but I'm at the point where I dont know if I can do it, it is a very bad spot to be in.
I seriously feel like my arms are going to fall off. My boyfriend and I, and 2 other couples had a Wii Boxing and Bowling Tournament (lol we set up the brackets and everything) and it was seriously a workout! It was kind of cool though because I won the boxing (lol the boys were all embarassed because they lost to a girl) and its nice to say "at least I am in good enough shape to win Wii boxing" lol. But yea... and my muscles hurt even worse today because I have the flu.... it is sooo not cool.
i've managed to lose 5 lbs again! yay! i still feel as fat as ever... and i am not eating very well... but instead of eating like 5 cookies, ill eat 2. i need to start working out... but this 5 lbs loss just tells me i havnt let myself go completely, I will be happy if i get though new years being the exact same weight i am now.
I've managed to gain all of the weight I have lost back. I dont really know what to say about it... I dont know how im feeling right now or what im going to do about it... i just kind of wanted to type it out and post it... and to see how sad my little graph looks after i submit that im back up to 175 lb. blah.
I'm done! I'm done with finals, I am done with this school, I am moving back home and I am starting over fresh.... this is really the greatest feeling in the world to get out of here. I really am determined to focus on getting healthy again and exercising regularly. I already signed up for classes at a junior college by my house and my schedual is amazing. I am going to school at night monday and wednesday (abnormal psych and human sexuality) and during the day tuesday and thursday (anthro and yoga). I am only taking 13 units. I figure it is already going to take me like 10 years to graduate (well ok, maybe more like 5 lol) so why stress myself.... I know that I just work better that way anyway. Oh and I called Willy (my trainer, he is so awesome) and I i'll be working out with him on monday and wednesday AND I am going to swim with the Masters team friday and saturday just for an hour. I really miss swimming... I hate indoor pools so I never went to the one here at USF, but now that i'm going home I can swim outside :) But ANYWAY, with all of that (yoga, weights, and swimming) I will be working out 6 hours a week, which I think is totally do-able (especially considering I use to be a gym rat in high school... I was up to 15 hours a week back in the day! lol)
it's finals time... I am stressing... and eating... i just cant stop stressing and eating. I am done tomorrow, I wonder how much damage I can do in 24 hours... probably a lot. I cant wait to move home and get myself back on track
