In your face you stupid self conscience!
So basically every time before I get in the pool to do laps, I always say "Oh god, I am so out of shape".... it is true, but i always talk about how much i use to swim, and how good i use to be, i just feel like i have to say it so that they don't think i am making it all up or something lol. So, tonight, I get in the pool with my coworker and we are just messing around in the pool, doing some leisurely laps, and she goes "We should totally race" and i was just like "oh god, i am totally going to lose, but i'll do it anyway just to see how bad i've gotten" (yes, more negative self talk.) So we decide to do a 100 IM (which was actually one of my events in high school).
She starts off ahead of me with butterfly, but I easily catch up to her and pass her (which was very very surprising to me, but I have always been pretty good at fly). Then backstroke (my other event i swam in high school) I totally kicked her booty and got a really good lead, which I needed because I knew that she was really good at breast stoke, and that is my worst stroke. So she almost catches up to me during breast stroke and the last lap of free was sooooo close, and i was sooooo tired i wanted to slow down but then my competitiveness kicked in and I did not give up. We hit the wall at just about the same time, but my other co worker out of the water said I definitely won.
I seriously was just like "WHAT?!?! are you serious?" and she was joking around with the other girl like "yea adrienne, Jess beat you and she hasn't raced anyone in 2 years, what is your coach going to say" and I don't know, I was just SO HAPPY. It totally wasn't a big deal, it was all just for fun, but it meant something to me and my self esteem, which has been lacking. I beat a 16 year old "athlete" who is like 115lbs and has a six pack.... INSANE in my eyes.
This just shows me something though. Even though I am out of shape, and I have gained a good 20-25 lbs since I was in my prime, being athletic, and being competitive is just a part of me that can't just go away. That is why, if I don't go to the gym for a really long time, and then i get into it again, it doesn't take long for me to get back into shape and be able to do all the same stuff I use to do. I have always wanted to join a club swim team or a Masters team, but I never thought I was good enough and I was always very intimidated. After tonight though, it makes me want to get back into it, and it shows me that I can do it.
