exhasted
As you can tell from my last post I am pretty much having a hard time right now. Everything is just so mentally and physically exhasting to me right now all I want to do is curl up into a ball and sleep.... but then again all my worried even come to me when I am sleeping because i'll have nightmares every night which wake me up. I promised myself though that I would not let all of my progress with my health and weight loss go to waste. I did my LBWO and cardio yesterday and I ate alright (I havnt been journaling this past week) and then I did my UBWO and cardio today and I started journaling today again. I started off on program with my eating but then after my workout I got in a HUGE fight with my boyfriend because he is being such an absolute idiot and even after I call him out on all of his bullshit he still doesnt think he did anything wrong. He also told me that he is going to go to clearlake with his dad on thursday, which is the day of my surgery. I was just so emotionally drained I didnt even feel like telling him ALL the reasons why that would upset me...all I had to say to that was "ok ryan, try it, go to clearlake and see if I am going to still be here for you when you get home". So I guess we will see if he goes or not. After that I just pigged out and didnt even realize what I was doing until I ate like 1/4 of a brie wheel and was on my second piece of naan (which are like 250 calories each) and then I found myself driving down to the ice cream place to eat some more. I also didn't go to class tonight and went to barnes and noble and fell asleep in one of their big comfy chairs. UGH something is wrong with me.