Good morning!  I did not want to get up this morning.  I stayed up last night finishing a terrific book by Billie Lets- "Shoot the Moon".  It wasn't as good as "Where the Heart Is"  but good none the less.  I set my alarm for 6:25 just to make sure my oldest gets up on time.  She's 16 and gets herself up, ready, and on the bus.  She's such a good girl, she always comes up to tell me she's getting ready so that I can reset my alarm for 6:55 in order to get the younger ones up for school.  The kids are all well nobody's sick, everyone's in good spirits; especially my 10 yr old daughter Abigail because she begged me to cut her hair for her last night.  It was sooo long- to her bum in fact.  She wanted it so she could manage it better herself.  So I cut roughtly 61/2" off and layered it, gave her some bangs.  I didn't cry, it was hard not to though.  I knew if I did she would cry too cause she felt she upset me.  So I didn't.  She was so happy this morning when she woke up and all she had to do was brush it; she didn't need me to do anything- no ponies, no spray, nothing.  My daughters all have hair like their Italian side of the family- their daddy's entire mom's side is strictly Italian.  Dark, thick, curly, lot's of hair every where.  I've been bleaching and waxing them since each was 10-11 yrs old. 

Is today a new start? UGh, I just don't have the "Get out of the house and go to the gym, in me"  sorry.  Maybe tomorrow.  I have so much to do; I just would rather take my 2 yr old to bed and take a long nap.  I have homework tonight due.  I'm in college.  Ashford University.  I've been back since september 2007.  I graduate with my Bachelors in Art and social science with a concentration in Education come November this year.  I plan to teach elementary school when my youngest starts pre-k or kindergarten.

I must get busy.  My husband finsished tiling the laundry room so now i need to put away all the linens back in the cabinets.

I've begun this because I'm tired of constantly feeling fat, stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted.  I'm just going to write instead of thinking/obsessing about it.  Instead of my thoughts knocking around my mind all the time I'm going to let them skip around the universe.  Thoughts of my husband, my 5 kids, the unending thoughts of my mom whom I lost just under 2 yrs ago.  Sometimes I wonder if my ache I still feel is normal- I miss her.. so much.

Yes I have 5 kids.  No twins, no triplets; just one by one.  I'm a stay at home mom, have been most of my 16 yrs of marriage to a newly retired army guy.  Being an Army wife has been a huge part of my identity; now that he's checked out of active duty I have to remind myself that chapter of our lives is over.

This post sounds more morose than I feel most of the time.  Tonight is a tad different I guess, perhaps it's just hormones.  I get blue when I've forgotten to take my synthroid for a couple days or when I'm about to start my "monthly".  Right now it's both.

I'm hoping this site motivates me to finally carve out time to get done what I need to do for myself, for a change.  It's soooo hard though.