1am Wednesday :(
Can't sleep 
Well I suppose I could if I tried harder, but my mind is buzzing.
Excuse me whilst I bend your ear .....
WORK - I have been working on the same contract for 3-4 years. The client was new to our company and I set up the department not knowing what to expect. It started with me and my boss, now it is me, the 2nd new boss to take over in the 3-4 years it has been running and 4 admin staff, so it has grown quite nicely. The client was a nice guy, who seemed to appreciate what we did and was friendly towards us, ie asking how our family are, chatting about his own. Over the past 6 months he has become Jekyle & Hide, he has complained about my manager, thus getting him elbowed out the company (for no good reason) and now we have the new guy working with me he is really taking the pee and requesting so many additional things, that I know (having set up the dept) it will take me a month of Sundays to produce, but he wants them all NOW !!
I have lost count how many times I have held my head in my hands wishing for someone to take me away from all this .....
I have considered going to see the big boss of my company and letting him know how I feel, but I wonder if I might shoot myself in the foot ?? This is the best company I have ever worked for, a friendly, easy going, generous company, except the client is driving me away
The thought of putting a CV together turns my stomach, I think I have lost confidence in myself working anywhere else (I have been here 7 years)
I am not sure what to do, I will have to continue to consider which direction I should go ....
HOME - I would love to take the rest of the week off sick and have a good sort out at home. We are about to start having major refurb work at home, something I have never experienced before, but I am under no illusion that it is going to be an awful experience, until we eventually get straight again. It should take about 12 weeks, and it will affect the whole house. We will have to move out for a certain period of time, but nothing is set in stone yet.
I really want to get rid of all the old junk that I won't want in my 'new' house, but the thought of doing it at the weekends is so annoying - I have better things to do than go to work Monday - Friday 
WW - Do you know what, I am completely ruining all my hard work just lately. I was so thrown by my back problems, I have now lost my motivation in the mornings. I still get up earlier than I need to, but I check out EP instead of putting my exercise DVD on. And if that isn't enough, I was still eating birthday cakes at work today and when I got home I 'got rid of' that bloody chocolate that has been in the fridge for I don't know how long !!!!! (I ate it, so i won't be bugging me anymore !!)
IN GENERAL - I need to make some changes, sort my blinking job out, get myself to target and wind the clock forward about 3 months, which would mean I would now be sitting in my new living room, on my new sofa, with our new stereo on around the house, over looking my open plan kitchen with new black glittery work tops, and bi-folding doors ......... cor I'm feeling better already 
If I could turn the clocks forward 3 months I would be at target too, going to my WIs free of charge, and attempting to start some sort of training programme ready for the half marathon in October 
OK - I will end this with some positives, and hopefully I will be able to go to bed and go to sleep ..... mmmmmmm ...... now what shall I type ??
1. I have lost 2.5 stone
2. I have out grown 3 dress sizes
3. I am another year older, but look better than I have done in years
4. My husband is very good to me (most of the time )
5. I am the best wife EVER !! (getting the hang of this now 
)
6. I will earn my money and ignore the crap at work (if I can)
7. I will get up tomorrow and put my exercise DVD on - and do it
8. I can wear my new t-shirt to Dance Fit class tomorrow, it says "Dance like no one is watching"
9. I will go to my WI (Zed42!!!) and face the music (bugger, is that positive ? I guess so ....)
10. You can stop reading - now that IS positive, for those of you who bothered to read this drivel !!
Thank you for being there xxxxx
J
PS - It is now 1.30am - UG ! 
PPS - Do I still have to get up early and do my exercise DVD ?? .... OK, I'm going now .... nite xx 