just rememberd i did this site in the beginning and thought id swing through and check out my old blogs....wowwwwwwwwww.....CRA-ZAY it seems like SUCH a long time ago i was excited about being in the 230s! haha.
its been a while readers...if there even are any at all anymore lol.
i guess its nice to check back and see it as kinda of a diary, im glad it exists.
i am current at 202 as of tuesday, hopefully I will break 200 next tuesday, and ironic point in time to be checking in to say the least. I have not stopped, i have not quit, and am just as diciplined now as i was then. Maybe even more so because I don't beat myself up over mistakes and mishaps anymore.....i REALLY did make a lifestyle change....and i think thats something to really be proud of. I will upload some pictures too....theres not too many fat pics around I kind of deleted most of them, lost them to my old computer, and to be honest avoided being in them at all in general anyway, now i wish i had more.
my goal weight is 142. my happy weight!
i can't even imagine what that will look like, but i have a feeling it will be gooooood!!
my lifestyle has changed since the last time i was here too...
no more boyfriend/hubs.
back in my parents house...no more apartment...
back in school...no more full time job
all of these things have been very condusive to my weight loss and the thing i give ALLLLLLL of the credit too is definitley HERBALIFE..
finding Kathys store and being able to get the support and accountability from her and Jen has been the best thing ever.
I have been doing 2 shakes (sometimes 1 sometimes none) and all of my supplements since february. It has been amazing and I reccommend herbalife to ANYONE who has ever been a chronic dieter...but not ONLY herbalife....an herbalife support center, where they will weigh and measure you and keep you on track! i LOVE kathy...shes become such an important support in my life, and my therapist as well! =) if you guys ever wanted to get in touch with her their website is:
even if you do not live in the area and need support and products, they are the best ladies around...
well maybe i will take on blogging again since I have recently full charged my mind into loosing 20 before halloween! I
wow can't believe its week 5..! Today is off to an ok start I had a weird breakfast but nonethe less a breakfast...cottage cheese and sour cream and onion baked lays! haha it was the last of the bag I had to finish them off....
went to the gym last nite...prob won't get to go tonite working 4-close (11)
went out to dinner with hubs last nite to charlie browns and noticed when i get FULL i get painfully full and have never experienced that type of fullness before like sometimes I really have to stop eating or ill fall over! Im LOVING that feeling though....so great.
WELL LADIES i am so excited to say THAT I HAVE OFFICIALLY BROKEN INTO THE 20's!! I went to the gym and worked my butt off and GOT ON THE DREADED SCALE! AND THE HIATUS ACCTUALLY PAYED OFF! 228.8~~~!!!!!!!! woo!!! That is a total of 21 LBS since I started going to the gym on December 5th! My chart in my file at the gym looks GREAT all things are down! My BMI & My Body Fat percentage have gone down! OW OW! The measurements are done on the 5th so Next Tuesday is Measurements day I am excited to see what my totals are for inches.
I think I am going to make a habit of not weighing myself everyday. I think I am going to wait a week in between weighing myself its much more fulfilling to see a larger loss! I know thats kinda an obvious fact but I have had trouble keeping myself off as soon as I get to the gym it stares at me!
I just ate my dinner...2 boca burgers with lite cheese on a multi grain wrap with light ranch and some steamed veggies...im full & happy!
off to play Quizzo @ the bar with my friends and silently celebrate! I don't feel right bragging about my loss because I don't feel like its THAT noticable, im still a Cow!!! Yes I am a 21 lb lighter cow but none the less still one....I want that WOW factor that I don't even have to specify...I want people to ASK me how much I have lost and not have to TELL them....ya know?
well SKINNY VIBES TO ALL MY LADIES ANDDD THE CHALLENGERS!!! GAME ON!!!!
so i did that calculator thing with tatumsmom and my happy weight is 142. a little less than my goal but i think give or take 10 lbs id be happy either way!
today i woke up for work and had to leave without eating ne breakfast i took my vitamin and water pills without eating and i sneezed and almost threw up! LORD that stuff makes ur stomach upset if you don't eat. I proceeded to down a Venti half organic Half Non Fat Chi Tea Latte with 2 Pumps of Sugar Free Caramel and felt tons better. Ladies if you go to starbucks alot and you would like to know tasty treats that are super low in calories and fat I can definitly share my personal concotions with you. Being behind the counter is alot different than standing in front of the menu board I know all the little tricks to making the BEST tasting drinks ever low fat and low calorie and still either pick you up or knock out that sweet tooth....
So if you would like to know anything please ask!
I havent eaten anything yet, its now 5:19. p.m. Im not hungry which is a good thing but I know I should eat. I just cant shake this feeling like im fat and squishy since I havent gone to the gym, its almost keeping me from allowing myself to eat! I am thinking about going to the gym in a little bit and I don't want to eat RIGHT before so I think i am going to have a REAL gatorade and see if I can get my body to utilize the carbs in that while I work out so I can eat a big healthy meal afterwards while my metab is still going.
I also wanted to publicly thank sas and trillian for picking me up after my fall your words REALLY REALLY did help me! I thought about what trillian said all day about the fact that 16 lbs of meat/sugar/flour is ALOT of lbs and I used to carry that around on my body everyday! So you girls really do make difference in my life and I wanted to share that,
for real off to the gym. to see where this damn scale is AT~! im NERVOUS. i hope i don't get depressed. There is a part of me that expects not to see too much damage even though I keep telling myself its not going to be that significant of a difference either way. AHHHHHHHH. scared :(
here i go!
will check back when i get home.
TOM kicks my ass. royally. started on friday and basically slept between 15 and 17 hours a day/night whenever i could really....for along 5-6 days straight....when i say i get fatigued i mean knocks me off my feet for about a week....i know everyone will say that sounds extrreemme but the combination of my hypothyroid and the changes in my horomone levels from my period really throw me for a loop. As iv said i don't have health insurance so i basically have to deal with both and bare it.....I never call out of work so what little time i wasnt near death at work I was sleeping. I felt terrible and this month was about as bad as it has been in well....a long time. I'm wondering if the change in my dietary habits affected it? i did not take the hydroxycut the whole time either so im sure that had its effect as well....
so the GYM issue. bad bad bad bad bad bad ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i have not gone :( im so ashamed but at the same time...have been aware of that fact every day and have dont nothing about it......
there is some SICK part of my brain that thinks that just because im not eating the same way i did before it will be ok....im sure its not...i feel fat :( and dissapointed in myself for not checking in with everyone and staying up on my challenge commitment....poop
i know im not back up completely the size 18 pants stil fit well....BUT i just feel gross......
DESPITE THE LACK OF EFFECT ON THE WEBSITE.....
ill make myself feel better in that EVEN THO i have no been hardcore I STILL have not reverted back to my old eating habits.....
i still have continued to make good choices....today for example i had oatmeal with organic maple syrp for breakfast...a healthy choice pot roast single serve soup for lunch and 2 boca burgers on a multi grain wrap with low fat cheese and light ranch dressing.........late night snack i had a shrek sludge fudge pop which is basically a fudgecicle which is only about 100 calories...NOT BAD right girls? so im not a complete failure well at least id like to think..
i need to get back into this, i cant believe i went THIS LONG without logging in.....need to keep my head in the game I REALLY DO WANT THIS.
hopefully i can get back in the saddle and start feeling like i am on my way...watched an episode of im goin to fat camp last nite...the one girl was 23 weighed less than me and wore a size 18 and looking at her and then me...i still didnt think i looked as big....even tho i know i am cuz i see in pictures i need to realize that i cannot congradulate myself for only 16 lbs when i seriously do have such a long way to go and the only person stopping me is ME! and I PROBABLY do look juuuust like her.... its not anyone elses fault that i havnt gone to the gym its my own so tommorow is a new day and its BACK IN ACTION for me.....i want to make everyone proud....i want to make myself proud
well called and got one of my problems fixed..now on to a million others a relief tho, was thinking about it all night...
going to have a good day i decided, going to really deep clean my room it sure needs it and jason will be pleased to come home and find a clean room i think the messier my room is the messier my life is! plans for the gym later tonight, eating healthy all day!
over the weekend i wasnt absurdly bad but i wasn't that great either....i had jagermeister with sugar free red bull on saturday...felt diciplined in the matter of i was the only 1 who got their own sugar free red bull for the evening lol.....didnt late night bindge after i drank.....for breakfast had a poppy bagel with butter ( i needed something solid in me, hunngoverr is an understatement) and sometom & tom's all natural peach orange juice....its 100% juice and sold at wawa! its excellent for the morning...wow...which at that point in time tasted like heaven! and then i went back to bed til around 5 pm. x( not my proudest moment on my blog! but honest! dont even remember what i ate that night i was grossly foggy the whole day, i believe it was lentil soup with a salad...
so monday...
i have to say has not started off so hot for myself but hey maybe that will be my trend...monday was a long & lazy day...went out to dinner with the hub again to charlie browns (thats his fav) and ate some crab & cheese dip (not the greatest) and a salad from the salad bar...i ordered a whole meal grilled chicken skillet and didnt even eat it! i was so fully from the app & the salad i didnt even touch the entree..not much of a victory concidering the reason i was fully was bc of the cheese & pitas...but the OLD me would have housed all 3 and then had desert! not to mention would have had 3 sodas by the time the meal was even served! bc i had not eaten dinner i wandered my house and sharked my kitchen at a much later hour only to eat a bag of popcorn and 2 fat free yogurts and a 100 calorie pack...yes my snacking could have been worse...no i still didnt feel great about it! no gym no gym no gym from friday night until tonite!OH NO GIRLS =( the weekend slipped by so fast...saturday and sunday were a blurr and monday was too short! haha...so i went tonite got on the scale did NOT like what i saw but im STILL going to have to chalk it up to TOM i still did'nt get it yet? i wonder whats up? i'm thinking that its my change in diet and exercise that is messing up my cycle...the P... word shall not be used! what a trajedy that would be....can't let myself get psyched out tho, i KNOW its coming iv been feeling more crazy than usual...have the tell tale pimples in the same spot every month and i could eat a chocholate covered cheese steak pizza at any moment....i wish it would come already!!!!! jeeeeeze.
2 lbs up tonite. i worked out pretty hard and got a new MP3 player that DEFINITLEY aided in my enthusiasm for my workout...its amazing what a good playlist can do for ur energy level...i lost my ipod that i had RIP it was so nice but somehow it escaped me....was in desperate need of a cost effecient replacement because i asked for a new ipod for my birthday but i needed something to tide me over until then so i went to target and bought aZEN stone it was only 34.99...it holds 250 songs...very simple and to the point to use for all those technologically challenged individuals out there....it has play,skip and volume, pretty easy stuff....u just load the songs from ur comp and drag them onto the player....it comes in cute colors as well mine is lime green...greaat for working out cuz its so tiny u can stick it newhere on ur body and not even feel it no need for those strappy things and if u loose it no biggie....
i was thinking i am defintly going to list the songs i have on it on here so maybe u guys can borrow my pump up music i have great taste and im sure u guys always need fresh tunes to keep ya movin! =) we'll see how things are on friday before i get too worred about the gain im gonna assume i will be almost past good ole aunt flo and things can get back to normal....for now im going to try & lie down and pray my head stop churning!
EVER NOTICE: when it rains it pours? hah.
i feel so stressed out right now find myself wondering:
is it really that things are always stressful and you just feel it more when ur PMSing
OR
is it that things get more stressful when ur already loosing your mind just for some sadistic karmic entertainment?
either way i am loooSiNg iT!! i have SO SO Much on my mind right now i feel like i could scream. school,money,bills,blah blah....i need a vacation. loosing weight is a full time job enough, wish i could just do this and shut the world off!
after finishing this book up i have a few things to say and insights for those of u who where interested in reading it.....honestly....i dont know weather to say do or don't so i still think you guys should read it for discussion sake...heres what i have to say
ok so, the book starts off wonderful i loved the first 3rd of the book it was both informative and funny....(when i wrote my first blog about it ) it all acctually has something to do with the title!!! after that .the language gets to be a little much after a while which has to be alot for me to say, i talk like that anyway but after a while it got old and kind of insulting to your intellegence.....i have a tough skin and don't get offended easily but after a while its juvenile to curse that much just because you can...and a little tacky...they used it as a hook, starting with the title. It's called marketing. so yea it works...after all the 'facts' they provided (many from PETA which is questionably ethical as an organization in itself) and the one models masters degree in holistic medicine? ( that has no accreditation at all) it has like all things strong negatives and positives alike...
positives are that it makes a very good attempt at allowing readers to be informed about health...being aware that our government is corrupt and shitty (we know) and to always read labels...They also stress that you should take it at your own pace and cut out the vices that you can in a timeframe that works for you - smoking, sugar, artificial sweeteners, etc. which is also important....The information on high fructose corn syrup was good, as well as some of the information on conventional methods of raising beef and dairy. Although even the good points had sketchy information behind them.
negatives.....you have NO IDEA what you bought...it has NOTHING about 'VEGAN' lifestyle plan on the cover, in the first few chapters, or on the back, genius marketing as it is i felt duped!! it is a forced platform for veganism which comes out of nowhere and is not basically, what i bought the book for...it contains no dietary lifestyle plan OTHER than vegan...for which i am not down...at one point they are like, "so now that your vegan" and the rest is how to live like a vegan and NOTHING about being skinny....to which they repeat at then end when they are like oh yea, this isnt a diet plan to get skinny......WHAT????????? ugh.....they are trying far too hard to sound unapologetically snide about anyone who ISNT a vegan.....i got this quote from a woman's review on amazon..."'the attempt was to distance veganism away from the image of flowing hippie skirts and birkenstocks, and towards that of an Oscar de la Renta cocktail dress and manolos. I'm not sure that trading in one stereotype for another was the most productive way to get their point across'"
i think she is totally right...i dont agree with alot of the "statistics" they provided on the dairy industry...but they too are bias to their own lifestyle...we have been milking cows for hundreds of years and YES it does have beneficial dietary uses...jeeze come on! i do however agree free range organic milk is BEST........i do also agree Americans as a whole are brainwashed by the meat & dairy industries!
shouldnt all of us be reducing the amount of processed foods in our diets, no matter what we're eating? i dont buy into their soapbox veganism as the only way of loosing weight.....there are other methods to obtain a healthy weight without becoming vegan or eating over processed soy based foods! the books states that you shouldn't eat breakfast until you're very hungry and then not eat lunch until you're famished. anyone who knows anything about nutrition and metabolism issues knows that it is better to eat first thing in the morning to get your body going and then to eat every few hours throughout the day to keep the metabolism up....not to mention being famished leads to binging.....for that statement they are truely assholes....
I felt that this book had some interesting information in it but it then was way too extreme for someone looking for a common sense plan. I am still concidering the possibility of becoming a vegitarian based souly upon my desire to do so before this book and my feelings towards the cruelty of animals...i hate the idea of knowing that what im eating contributed to the pain and mutilation of a pig or a cow...i don't know...I love my animals and I could never see them suffer like that. The chapter that talks about slaughter brought tears into my eyes. i was reading outloud to my mom and i started crying....the beef and pork is what got me to be honest with you ....i can't fly with the fish thing i will still be eating fish..asian cultures have sustained on fish for hundreds of thousands of years and live the longest and healthiest lives!! so in the words of their oh so witty banter...DUH.....and i am barely with them on chicken....they are overpopulated, practically brainless animals...and to be honest i think they are a gift from god as a natural food source they have so many dietary gifts to offer and well...I like chicken on my salad and I think they are dumb! the inhumane killing process is however a problem but im not quite sure what the altnerative is, especially because so many of the chickens are contaminated with salmonella im not sure id want organic either....i am possibly just cutting out processed beef and only doing free range organic...and pork...ll let u guys know what i decide and why
so ladies lets just start with HOLLER!!!!!! @ seeing 233 on the scale at the gym tonite....that brings my total to 16 lbs since i started my lifestyle change. i was going to type diet but then i second thought it because this is NOT a diet its a new me for the new year. I was so excited and surprised to see that number i don't feel any thinner as the TOM approaches. my stomach is still feeling rather puffy and i cannot say my dietary habits have been all that immaculate but looks like the awareness of what i put in my mouth is finally paying off!
i didn't go to the gym on day 3 instead i got my nails done and went to the bookstore...i needed a special 'me' time treat....small things like getting ur nails done make u feel special so if you are not doing things like this for yourself DO IT girls, u deserve it! it may be the princess in me but i know i do! haha went out to quizzo at a local bar with friends & had a few vodka tonics (which a friend of mine told me had the lowest amount of calories) and HALLELUJA PRAISE THE LORD did not BINGE afterwards! i snuck a peice of cheese but other than that behaved....WHAT a milestone when i drink i get like a animal and eat everything in sight....so....thursday
went out to charlie browns with my jason and had a wonderful dinner it was delicious....i had the salad bar (yummy) with lowfat ranch a baked potato and a few bites of jays steak...after that i went home and read my book!
I am reading a book called SKINNY BITCH....so far it has taught me ALOT of things i never knew before about living a healthy lifestyle....i LOVE the way it is written in the exact way i talk....real....its basic message is to stop making excuses and start getting skinny! it exposes alot of information on nutritional supplements that u may think are good for u because they are low in calories but in reality are really horrible chemicals for your body...... so far i am aiming at a few new goals for the coming weeks...absolutley NO fake sugar of any kind....no more splenda or equal....it has also inspired me to remove meat from my diet........I don't feel like really getting into it to stray from sounding like i am preaching but in my heart & my mind i feel that being a vegitarian is the right choice for me.....it breaks my heart to thing of the cruel way animals die....humans are no carnivores no matter what you may have been 'brainwashed' into thinking.....get informed and research it for yourself or better yet READ SKINNY BITCH even if you don't agree with everything they say....you cannot help but second guess everything you eat from that point on...i will honestly say that i am 100% committted to trying for organic, raw and live foods at least when it comes to my grains and veggies....i realize that the only way i will be skinny is to be HEALHTY and i think thats huge for me to even concider....i may have downfalls here and there but i am going to try....i feel like the book is really opening my eyes.....it encourages u to be vegan....which after alot of consideration i don't think i can do.....i love cheese too much, i am not a milk drinker and yes i realize its fatting and no longer necissary for me to survive in my diet but i cannot commit to that just yet...i am making alot of changes and i know that too much too soon is a recipe for disaster....tommorow is a new day...i need to get to the grocery store and get some organic produce for my lunch i am very very blessed to have a martindales natural market in the same shopping center as my job! so great....
things ive been loving this week:
right bites grasshopper cookies
ladies these are AMAZING, they taste exactly like fudge covered grasshoppers (thin mints) they are mini for easy popping if your the mindless oral fixator like myself i love things that come in lots of quanity even if they are tiny its the fact that i have what seems like alot to eat and the fact that they are 100 calories makes them heaven sent. GET THEM.
Skinny Cow Ice cream cones...
had one last nite...caramel and vanilla....SOOOOOOOO tasty and again nice to have something u can work on for a long period of time and not have to feel guilty...
Morning Star Spicy Black Bean Veggie Burgers
GET THEM omfg! so so so good. I LOVE BLACK BEANS anyway...they are so healthy for you! and not to mention these patties are filling as all hell...i can eat one on a whole wheat pita with lettuce and tomatoe and feel like i just ate a huge meal that tasted great too! i am loving them...try and u wont be dissapointed!
please please please read "skinny bitch" girls, lets discuss it, tell me what u think. it can only help!
lets see didnt eat anything but my dinner after last checked in....morning star black bean veggie burger on a pita with lettuce & tomato, fat free ranch..mmm.. so good....so i went to work, drank some water and such and then afterwards went to the gym for an hour...worked out really hard....havnt been since friday so i was trying to make up for that....got on the scale....not that bad but not that great either....hasnt moved! i was definitley dissapointed...know i shouldnt be but i dunno i was kinda hoping to be pleasently surprised and had lost a lb or so...i was still pretty damn good despite last nite i mean jeeze....i know i cant expect to loose a lb every 4 days but in the back of my mind i think i will lol....i think im pmsing really bad...hopefully after all of that is said and done with ill drop a few lbs then also....for now....100 calorie oreos and to bed.....gnite girls
