my happy weight

so i did that calculator thing with tatumsmom and my happy weight is 142. a little less than my goal but i think give or take 10 lbs id be happy either way!

today i woke up for work and had to leave without eating ne breakfast i took my vitamin and water pills without eating and i sneezed and almost threw up! LORD that stuff makes ur stomach upset if you don't eat. I proceeded to down a Venti half organic Half Non Fat Chi Tea Latte with 2 Pumps of Sugar Free Caramel and felt tons better. Ladies if you go to starbucks alot and you would like to know tasty treats that are super low in calories and fat I can definitly share my personal concotions with you. Being behind the counter is alot different than standing in front of the menu board I know all the little tricks to making the BEST tasting drinks ever low fat and low calorie and still either pick you up or knock out that sweet tooth....
So if you would like to know anything please ask!

I havent eaten anything yet, its now 5:19. p.m. Im not hungry which is a good thing but I know I should eat. I just cant shake this feeling like im fat and squishy since I havent gone to the gym, its almost keeping me from allowing myself to eat! I am thinking about going to the gym in a little bit and I don't want to eat RIGHT before so I think i am going to have a REAL gatorade and see if I can get my body to utilize the carbs in that while I work out so I can eat a big healthy meal afterwards while my metab is still going.
 

I also wanted to publicly thank sas and trillian for picking me up after my fall your words REALLY REALLY did help me! I thought about what trillian said all day about the fact that 16 lbs of meat/sugar/flour is ALOT of lbs and I used to carry that around on my body everyday! So you girls really do make difference in my life and I wanted to share that,

for real off to the gym. to see where this damn scale is AT~! im NERVOUS. i hope i don't get depressed. There is a part of me that expects not to see too much damage even though I keep telling myself its not going to be that significant of a difference either way. AHHHHHHHH. scared :(
here i go!
will check back when i get home.

Struggling

I know what a struggle this weight loss can be. Don't let it get you down. I think the biggest obstacle for me is accepting that this is going to take a LONG time to come off. I'm focusing on 5 lbs/month. I've already hit my 5 pounds for January so I've given myself the rest of the month to just maintain. Come February 1st, I'll bust my butt to lose the next 5 lbs. Keeping myself to that small weight loss and not getting overexcited or expecting to lose quickly has helped me this time around. The motivation to keep this up for the long run has always been my downfall.

Also, please don't stop eating. It is SO important that you eat lots of small meals a day to keep your metabolism running. If you don't eat, your body thinks it's starving and holds on to all your fat to make sure you survive! Your gym experience will be so much more fruitful if you eat small healthy portions every 3 hours before you go (but nothing an hour before you work out or you might get sick). This is what the trainers at Bally Total Fitness told me when I met with them.

Good luck! You can do it!