the bum is back in action
god...................WHERE DO I START?
TOM kicks my ass. royally. started on friday and basically slept between 15 and 17 hours a day/night whenever i could really....for along 5-6 days straight....when i say i get fatigued i mean knocks me off my feet for about a week....i know everyone will say that sounds extrreemme but the combination of my hypothyroid and the changes in my horomone levels from my period really throw me for a loop. As iv said i don't have health insurance so i basically have to deal with both and bare it.....I never call out of work so what little time i wasnt near death at work I was sleeping. I felt terrible and this month was about as bad as it has been in well....a long time. I'm wondering if the change in my dietary habits affected it? i did not take the hydroxycut the whole time either so im sure that had its effect as well....
so the GYM issue. bad bad bad bad bad bad ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i have not gone :( im so ashamed but at the same time...have been aware of that fact every day and have dont nothing about it......
there is some SICK part of my brain that thinks that just because im not eating the same way i did before it will be ok....im sure its not...i feel fat :( and dissapointed in myself for not checking in with everyone and staying up on my challenge commitment....poop
i know im not back up completely the size 18 pants stil fit well....BUT i just feel gross......
DESPITE THE LACK OF EFFECT ON THE WEBSITE.....
ill make myself feel better in that EVEN THO i have no been hardcore I STILL have not reverted back to my old eating habits.....
i still have continued to make good choices....today for example i had oatmeal with organic maple syrp for breakfast...a healthy choice pot roast single serve soup for lunch and 2 boca burgers on a multi grain wrap with low fat cheese and light ranch dressing.........late night snack i had a shrek sludge fudge pop which is basically a fudgecicle which is only about 100 calories...NOT BAD right girls? so im not a complete failure well at least id like to think..
i need to get back into this, i cant believe i went THIS LONG without logging in.....need to keep my head in the game I REALLY DO WANT THIS.
hopefully i can get back in the saddle and start feeling like i am on my way...watched an episode of im goin to fat camp last nite...the one girl was 23 weighed less than me and wore a size 18 and looking at her and then me...i still didnt think i looked as big....even tho i know i am cuz i see in pictures i need to realize that i cannot congradulate myself for only 16 lbs when i seriously do have such a long way to go and the only person stopping me is ME! and I PROBABLY do look juuuust like her.... its not anyone elses fault that i havnt gone to the gym its my own so tommorow is a new day and its BACK IN ACTION for me.....i want to make everyone proud....i want to make myself proud