Day 1: Well Hello!

I like to write.  I think that's something I got from my dad.  It gives me the opportunity to gather my thoughts, in a some what more orderly fashion, than through out the day.  I can reflect the events that went on, express my feelings that I probably couldn't ( or shouldn't) share with other people. And there's just something about having things in writing that make them feel more legitimate.  Like, grocery lists, to do lists, life goal list...i'm a list and a visual kind of person.

This is the opening chapter to my journey ahead and I feel like I should give you a little history for why I am here and who I am.  Well, I'm a 22 year old, drop out from college, living at home and finally getting my feet back on a somewhat more stable ground than what I was on this time of year ago.  It's been a difficult but also a time I wouldn't have changed for anything.

I was blessed to spend 8 more month with my grandma who passed away on July 14th. I lost my best friend that day.  But I am so blessed that I was able to spend more time at home with her, rather than in Chicago at college. I miss her more than word can every say and I look forward to the day I get to be with her and see her again.

With that loss, I feel that there's now this huge hole.  Something so significant, just gone.  Something that was so influential and a huge part of my life, just up and disappeared. But the memories are forever and the good times we shared will forever be cherished.

And I've realized after her passing, that life is so short. Nana (my grandma) always said that.  And I've been thinking about those words a lot and realizing that life does go by way too fast, whether we like it or not.  It won't slow down for us, it won't allow us to go back to that one Christmas, or to tell that one person we were wrong and that we're sorry. 

I guess what I am trying to say that I really want to enjoy this life that God has given me and I don't feel like I am doing a very good job at that.  And something I feel I need to change and feel like I am actually thankful for the life I've been given is to make the most of it and do something with my life, instead of sitting home watching TV or puttzing on the computer feel bad for myself and my weight.

I've made goal for myself and I want to accomplish them. I want to run a half marathon. When I go to Alaska this summer, I want to be able to actually run the camps "historical" Musk Ox run that is 3 miles, and a majority of it is up mountains. I want to have more energy and I want to make my Nana proud.  She would be sad that I stop caring for my body and self. 

It may seem kind of strange maybe, but I guess that's why I am here.  To change my eating and exercise habits and be happy and thankful for the day and go to bed knowing that I did the best I could. 

Losing these 20 pounds aren't going to solve all my problems, but I believe that it's part of just really making life the best I can. You can't enjoy much from the living room sofa infront of the TV.  There's a world going on outside these four walls and I want to be a part of it.

So, starting Monday...let this journey begin.  For now, and Sunday, I've got a TON of finals I need to study for and when next Thursday night rolls around, I'll be a free women! Hallelujah!