Reasons To Change
Why not start with the bad stuff? At least then I can go to bed thinking about the good stuff I've got to look forward to in my future!
I can't make it to the end of my road without being out of breath and wanting to sit down.
My back hurts after a few minutes of walking.
My knees hurt and feel stiff.
I have sometimes ended up not leaving the house because I couldn't summon up the energy to put on my shoes and socks.
I have 1 pair of shoes that I wear constantly.
I have 2 pairs of trousers that I wear constantly. black only, no jeans, and it has been years since I have even thought about wearing a skirt.
I have spent stupid amounts of money in the last year taking taxis to places all because I can't face public transport, or the walk to the end of my road to get the train (easily £1000, maybe even close to £2000 in the last year of starting to do that).
The feeling when I am walking is tightness, especially in my legs, weighing down on my chest, and an overall feeling of being trapped and bursting to get out of this huge body.
I am 26 next Tuesday and I have never had a proper boyfriend.
Everything I ever do is dictated by my weight, or in most cases everything I don't do is usually because I have talked myself out of it because my weight.
I am pretty much a hermit.
I think my sister is embarrassed of me. I probably would be too.
My nephew told me when I babysat him on Saturday, "you can't have any chocolate bread this time because it gives you a big fat belly and yours is fat enough and I don't want it to get any bigger". That is one smart 4 year old!
I used to still have a pretty face and you couldn't tell as much that I was bigger, but now the fat has spread to my face and neck and there is no getting away from it (possibly the reason why I am now at rock bottom and doing something about it, so really it's a good thing instead of me carrying on just looking at my face in the mirror and blocking out the rest).
A size 32 at Evans feels snug and claustrophobic. How did that happen?? Last time I bought clothes I was at 26/28 (this was 9 months ago though and not that's exactly a size zero!).
My life is just plain old passing me by and I can't let it anymore...
...On to the good stuff...