03/22/2007 09:58
Update
Thank you all for your kind words, emails, and especially your prayers. Just a quick update, because I know your wondering, Daniel is improving each day. He has weaned off oxygen at home, which was the next big step. Went to the pulmonologist yesterday, and he is still not well enough to go forward with the broncoscopy and gi scope, so we wait, and pray, wait and pray.
On a personal note, I have rejoined WW and have lost about 4 lbs. This is my second week.
See you after Easter. Peace be with you all!
03/01/2007 13:32
Urgent Prayer
I know this is breaking my commitment, but its for a good cause, please pray!
Dear friends and family,
Just taking a 5 minute break from the hospital room with Daniel....some know, some may not, but Daniel was brought into the ER on Tuesday Morning with difficulty breathing. He has been diagnosed with pnemonia and RSV (a viral respitory disease) and it is truely taking a toll on his little body because he already deals with a compromised respitory status with the asthma. They have determined that he is asperating fluid into his lungs (for sure this time) and so we have to probably stop breastfeeding completely :( (not only his main source of food, but comfort as well) and there is even talk of a feeding tube for a few days to give everything a good chance to heal enough for the test that they are planning on doing the beggining of next week.
Those test are a GI scope down into his stomach taking biopisies all the way back up, and a Broncoscopy with video study, where they will pull fluid from his lungs and pictures and biopsies as well.
This is a scary time for us, especially for Ryan, Andrew, Miriam and Joseph who wonder why mommy and daniel arent coming home at night and different people are watching them through out the day.
Could you please remember us, especially Daniel Giovanni in your prayers. Also, I know it may be a lot to ask, and people are busy, but if there is ever a free moment in your time that you think you may be able to help us out with the kiddo's at home, we would greately appreciate it. Joe took a little time off, but isnt able to take much more, and one of us needs to be here with him 24/7.
Praise Jesus in all His goodness, and during this lent time, we unite our suffering with His for the benifit of those who dont live with His graces. We praise God for good friends like you!
Love,
Joe, Tennille and the family.
02/20/2007 08:34
Its that time of year again....
Well, Ash Wed. Is tomorrow. Time to burry the Alleluia's and unite our Suffering with that of Jesus. I went to reconciliation Sunday night and Father challenged me (for my penance) to give up something "hard" this year, something that would bring me closer to Jesus and help me to be the mother and wife I desire to be, that God desires me to be.
So after some prayer and thought, I decided that giving up the computer would be something hard for me to do! I will give up myspace, extrapounds and any "recreational" computer time....check my email once a day at night (because this is how I communicate with church and bills) and pay bills online...but that is it.
Please know you are in my prayers, and I ask that you please pray for me as well!
May the peace of Christ be with you this lent season, I pray you see Him in a very real way!
02/19/2007 08:21
WW and Exercise
Today Im starting WW again. I plan on exercising during the kids nap time. Daniel isnt well, he has to see the Doc today, so it all depends on whether or not he actually takes his nap if I will be able to do it.
I am planning on going to WW meetings, but it may be a couple weeks until I can get there because of finances. But Im not going to let that hold me back, so Im starting today with what I already know.
I honestly had a terrible weekend. Most of it stemmed from the fact that I couldnt fit into anything I tried on, and it furiated me. My husband took the brunt of alot of frustration. 
For me, for now, I need to get a few priorities straight...that being said, Im stepping up and starting the Mothers rule stuff (what I have done) and that means stepping away from computer, television, and telephone.
Have a great week!
02/17/2007 19:06
Still Alive
I am still alive. Things have been a little hectic around here.
Im considering returning to WW meetings. Financially it is going to be hard, but we may be able to find a way. And it may just be the thing that will get me going again! I need something.
Saw myself in the mirror today, my entire self, it devistates me, I cant even believe it is me.
Im taking my own advice....I gave it to a friend of mine on myspace...and after I wrote it to her, I just thought....EXACTLY! Here it is...
Continue to praise Jesus with all His goodness in these hard times....We will be redeemed from this suffering, but only by uniting our suffering with that which has already been suffered to redeem the world.
With that, I am going to be with my family! Know I am still around, rooting you on, keeping your journeys in my prayers!
02/15/2007 19:47
Good.
Daniels swallow study went fairly well. It confirmed what I believe I already knew, he is infact aspirating fluids into his lungs, causing part of his breathing problems, definately the reason why he has a chronic cough, and praise God he hasnt been too sick with it, because they say that usually kids are really, really sick with it. His case is minor, but he will have to go through some "feeding theropy" and I will have to stop breast feeding him (you have no idea how sad that makes me) because the breast milk is so thin, it is the easiest component to be aspirated. All of the fluids he drinks will have to be thickened with a thickening agent or yogurt, or baby ceriel....so I have to work with him to drink from a cup, at this point he doesnt do it at all. Its important that we try...it will take a lot of time and effort, patience. Please join us in praying about that.
After the swallow study, I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my uncle was in a terrible car accident, he has a closed head injury, and was asking for me. During the times he was coherrient, he was thrashing, and violent (doesnt suprise me) and so I went right from Mary Free Bed to Hastings Pennock Hospital to see him. He looks terrible, he has broken up bones in his face, very swollen, but the prognosis is good. Its sad, he just went through a really bad divorce, and doesnt have many people who genuinly care about him, mostly because of the way he treats people, but he is my family and even though he hasnt always been nice to me, I have always tried to just listen to him, love him and show him Jesus. I was actually a little suprised he was asking for me, and when I got there, he tried to set up, and he said "Its about Damn time you got here" and then fell back asleep. Oh well. Please pray for him too. The stuff with my family was crazy there. Its interesting how people try to turn someone elses pain or suffering into thier own. I almost just cried. I watch them and wonder how it is that I am a part of that family....I pray for thier deliverance, healing, and humility. For mine as well...I have so far to go.
I am overwhelmed today....but the one thing I did NOT do is turn to food! Instead, I was prayerful, and treated my self well.
Things are changing, I am changing. and. this. is. good.
02/11/2007 21:28
A new day, Another chance
Well, taking "B's" advice, Im ditching the pity party and jumping back on board. Its a new day, I have another chance.
With that being said....its 10:30 p.m. and If Im going to get up at 4:30 a.m. to make it to the gym...I've got to go.
Im doing this for me.
02/07/2007 11:40
Lets be honest
So this is the third time I am attempting to blog this....I swear if it doesnt go through, i am done with Extra pounds. Well, maybe not?!
The kids are napping, so I have a moment to actually say what I got to say, and Im saying it so I hear it, and maybe you will comment on it to tell me get my back side in gear and do what I need to do.
Im just now getting over the cold thing. What an awful sickness that was. Last week I had a conversation that concluded in me deciding that "perhaps this isnt the right time for me" to tackle the weight loss battle. From the very moment I decided on that I began to revert to old habits as If I never quite them. I gave up. I threw in the towel....it was a ticket to "freedom". I ate when ever I felt like it, I ate what ever I wanted, I did not one time excersize, and to be HONEST.....I havent felt this horrible in a very long time.
I have had a constant stomach ache, a dull head ache that is kicking my butt and wont go away, I 've been taking motrin like it were candy to get rid of it....not happening. I have been extrememly grumpy with my family, not putting my best foot forward....basically feeling sorry for my self because I was "disabled".
When I gave up I accepted that I was going to remain fat for the rest of my life, accepted that I was going to be unhappy for the rest of my life, accepted that I was not going to be able to fully participate in activities with my children, accepted that I would not be comfortable in my clothing, accepted that I would feel unattractive and discusting to my husband (a blatant lie)....I accepted defeat.
So, I went on feeling sorry for me, feeling defeated.
The TRUTH is this: It never will be Convienient for me to loose this weight. It never is going to be easy. If it were...wouldnt we all be at goal....right?! Right. I just got done lecturing my 10 year old son about not using his ADD disability as a crutch and that sometimes it was all a matter of making the right choices.....why should he listen to me? Im certainly not practicing what I am preaching to him.
One thing I have been able to work on is my "Mothers Rule" and part of the Mothers Rule is recognizing the distractions in our lives that prohibit us from living the vocation to which we are called....and then after recognizing them, finding a way to over come those "distractions" ....in this process, I have written the following, and feel that this too pertains to my weight loss battle and that mastering these three things will strengthen me and enable me to fight, and in fact win this battle.....
Sacrafice ~ sacrafice for the greater good of my family and Gods. Sacrafice my needs and wants for the needs of others. Its not always about me. Look at the situation with the loving eyes God created me with, make the sacrafice with love.
Surrender ~ surrender my will to that of Gods. God created us in His image. He called us GOOD....*I AM GOOD* He has a plan for my life, am I doing things that promote our detour from that very plan?! Surrender my past, surrender my present, surrender my future. Surrender anger, anxiety, worry, guilt, fear of the unknown and offer this up in prayer for others.
Submission ~ Submit myself to my vocation to which I am called to serve God, my husband, my children and my community. Love my vocation ~ it is a gift. Do not be envious of my neighbor or anyone in the things they posess and I do not. Do not wish to be someone I am not called to be. AND be happy for the blessings other people have, and for those we have been given.
So this is where I am. I am HONESTly struggling....I am not sure where weight loss fits into my life, but I do know that I cant just give it up. Because doing so will only devistate me.
On a side note, I just wanna say how incredibly excited I am for a extra pounds friend of mine, Sheelah, who has made her 10% goal in spite of the odds, with a overflowing full plate....she has lost 25 lbs with weight watchers and over 50lbs since the birth of her 6th blessing. Sheelah, you are in INSPIRATION to me, and a dear friend that I am so thankful for! Congratulations, you deserve it! 
As for me....Im off to work on these things I am called to work on....your prayers and support are MUCH appreciated!
Peace of Jesus with you!
02/07/2007 10:06
Is this working?
I tried blogging twice now.....it isnt posting it. 2 hours total waisted....im less than thrilled.
01/27/2007 20:35
In a better place
My trip to D.C., I cant say enough good things about it. I learned so much, so much about myself. I think I have found a place with in myself in which I am comfortable. That sounds wierd..... Let me explain and work this out.
Before I left for my trip, my husband said to me, "I hope you see Him." I was in a hurry, trying to get everything set for Daniel and I to go, and get everything set for hubby to be home with 4 children, I had no idea what the heck he meant....hope I see who? "I hope you see Jesus." Not really looking, not really searching....I saw him so many times, so many places, in so many people.
We experienced so much in the 3 days we traveled, witnessed so many different walks of life all there to pray for the sanctity of human life, united for one purpose. Here I witnessed some of the poorest of people living on the streets, depending on hand outs to eat their very next meal.
So what am I complaining about? Why do I allow my worries to make such a huge impact on who I am. Ye of such little faith. My worry, my stress....it has added this 80 lbs I carry, it inhibts my very being, not allowing me to become the healthy happy person I was created to be.
For some people they need this or that weight loss program, and for some others they need trainers and for others its this, or that....I think for me, I need to be faithful, in all I do, in who I truely am before I can even consider weight loss programs.
I think I am called to have a much more contemplative life than I currently live....I think this journey of surrender is much more than just a weight loss journey.
Im sorry if this makes no sense to any one....Im just hashing these things out.
Im comfortable being who I am. I am loved for who I am. This is so good to know.
