08/04/2008 07:36
A New Day
Tredmill: 30 min, 266 cal., 1,5miles, 33.2 carbs. Brisk walking with 1-2 min runs thrown in there!
We are also planning on going for a walk to the park today, that is almost 2 miles, and I will do my 20 min turbo jam during the kids nap.
I have been on program since Saturday, and I feel absolutely great. For extra modivation my husband has challenged me to see who can get to their first 10%. Bring it on! I cut up fruit last night and put it in bags and containers in the fridge, there are plenty of fresh veggies in there too!
Im excited!
By the way, my weigh in was bad, and this is why I got right on program. Im glad I went because the unknown is seriously dangerous! I would have just continued on with my bad habits.
Heres to believing in myself, believing in the program, and DOING IT. Have a great day!!!!!
08/02/2008 08:37
intimidation
So this morning is my weigh in time. Im scared and dont want to go, but know that if I dont go then I will just continue to fall into bad habits because of the unknown. Last night our 3 year old got really REALLY excited when he was setting on my lap and he pushed on my stomach and said "OH mommy your gonna have another BABY!!! YEAH" and then proceeded to run around the house screaming it from the roof tops telling all his siblings. I was mortified. But thats what I look like right now.
I tried on a pair of jeans I wore a month ago and could not even get them over my thighs.
On the positive, I did work out twice this week, and have a goal of working out at least 4 times next week. and stay on program. Last night I did go to bed with out having a late night snack.
Today I will try to set down and write out some goals. This always helps me stay focused.
Here's for another day!
07/30/2008 17:57
MIA...not so much
Well, considering it has been nearly a year since I have been able to visit this site... you could say that I have been MIA. Life for me has been a serious roller coaster. In the past year I lost my grandfather to whom I was very close, had a miscarriage, a very complicated pregnancy after the miscarriage ending with our 6th (living) child Samuel who was born May 2nd after a traumatic event. He was not breathing and no heart beat, but they were able to bring him back.... he is a special needs child with a feeding tube, trach tube, and something called Hallerman Streiff syndrome. He spent 3 months in the NICU and has 12 hour nursing at home. He weighed 3lbs 15oz at birth and is 13 weeks old and is up to 7lbs 3 oz.....
ANYWAY, in the midst of it all I have found my way back up to 240lbs. I was down to 215. I have joined weight watchers and am back on the tredmill and doing turbo jam. I am in serious need of friends who want to continue this journey with me. I need to do this for myself and for my family, so I can take care of them the way they need me to! Im tired of being tired all the time. I need to get healthy... and thats that.
08/25/2007 10:55
Down 5.2, thats modivation enough for me
Well, I made cookies last night, and ate 3 of them, and I have been sick all night with it. I'll spare you the details, but I thought I would weigh myself this a.m. and continue this journey....and to my suprise it was down 5.2 lbs from last WI. I totally expected to be up to 240, because I certainly feel that way. My hands even look fatter to me.
What I do know is that I am only 5lbs away from where I was before I fell off...and I think that is possible. So Im going to run twards it.
08/22/2007 12:27
Decide. Commit. Succeed.
add a little sacrifice, and thats what'll have to be done. Anyone recognize that little three word "slogan"? Its what is said every time I put in my Turbo Jam DVD's. Decide. Commit. Succeed.
Its true. If we decide to do it, and commit to it, it gets done, leading us to success.
I want this, I will do this, and it has to come with a little sacrifice. Were not a rich family, actually, thats the "plolitically correct" way of saying were very poor, especially right now, 5 kids, one low income...do the math...yeah. So anyway, I had to sacrifice my WW meetings. Our 4 year old needs some socialization, and because we cant afford preschool (I will homeschool it like I did with my boys) we are going to put her in Dance/Tumbling/Tap Classes at a near studio...and its 35.00 a month, SO....out goes the WW. But truth is I wasnt making it to meetings, and when I did go, I weighed in and pretty much ran out b/c of stuff we had going on.
But I know the plan. I have WW scale at home. I can do this. And I havent lost support, because I have this site to help me...as long as I dont get kicked off because they start charging me or something?!
Last night, in the shower (TMI I know) I decided to set a new goal. And I wanna see if I can really do it, push my self to it. I want to be 199.9 by Christmas. Anything under 200. So here we go.
and...thats it.
08/16/2007 14:30
The Process
Well, I decided to get on the scale this morning to see where I was "mid week" before I weigh in again on Saturday, and I am glad I did. I dont know why I think it will "all be ok" when I continue to eat ice cream nightly, like 5 times more than the serving size suggestion, and eating arbys "fresh market" italian sub. For some reason "fresh market" makes you think "its not that bad for me"....I ate that 3 times this week, twice with fries, and mountain dew. WHY? Because I think I CANT DO THIS ANYWAY.....and Im mad about that. 1/2 of me is like "Go, Go, Go" and the other part is "why freaking bother"....like the devil and angel thing on my shoulder.
I have gained 3lbs since Saturday's wiegh in. AND, I am up a total of 13lbs, meaning that I have only lost like 7lbs when I was near 20lbs.
I did work out Monday and Tuesday, not Wed because we had so much going on, and Mass at night because of the Holy Day, and I will work out tonight. Because I know if I dont do it again, I will be doomed into "getting myself back into it."
Its just this eating thing. Why cant I get this under control? It is so harming my body, not to mention it harms my family as well, because when Im out and grab a sandwich or whatever, it is taking away money that we need.
Im sorry...thats all I have to say now.
08/13/2007 06:50
Still Alive
Well, I continued to not do anything, including watching what I ate all week long last week, however, I knew that I needed to continue to face the music at WW even though I knew the number was up. And it was. Im back to 234 now, with a total loss back down to only 10 pounds. Im dissapointed, but moving on.
As a matter of fact I got up this morning and just finished 45 minutes of Turbo Jam, and Im sweating like a dog, and I feel great about it. I plan on working really hard on CORE today and continuing this journey.
On another note, even though I have been not doing so fabulous eating wise and exersize wise in the past couple weeks, I have worked tremendously on my faith journey and prayer life, as well as my vocation as wife and mother, and now that I feel like I have that in order, I can start to focus again on my own physical person.
I pray you are all well...I will try to check up on you today!
07/30/2007 13:08
WW Meeting
Well, I pushed myself to go to a WW meeting, and although I wasnt able to stay for the meeting, I weighed in, and I am at 229, a beautiful place to start over.
I felt really good because when I walked in there my WW leader was like "Hey its you, where have you been?, are you still running?" and everyone was looking at me, and I just confessed it all...I said "Ya know, Im such a jerk, because no I havent been running, and I havent done well, I gained weight that week I ran the 5K and biked and turbo jamed my back side off, and it discouraged me and I gave up." And she encouraged me, and about 10 others told of how they did big excersize one week and gained, but then kept going and lost big in the weeks to come and then kept a steady lose for quite some time.
So Im glad I went.
I have another confession though, maybe its a question. Im wondering If I "offended" people here, because no one commented on that last post, and last time I posted something "religious" on here the same thing happened. Just wondering what you all thought of it....
Here's to us losers!
07/27/2007 11:13
Efforts
Matt. 14:14-21
As he went ashore he saw a great throng; and he had compassion on them, and healed their sick. When it was evening the disciples came to him and said, "This is a lonely place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves." Jesus said "They need not go away; you give them something to eat." They said to him, "We have only five loaves here and two fish," And he said, "Bring them here to me." Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass; and taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to Heaven, and blessed and broke and gave the loaves to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
It wasn't the Apostles' meager five loaves and two fish that fed the crowds, but their offering combined with the blessing of Jesus. Perhaps Jesus needs us to give our five loaves and two fish, our insignificant efforts and he will bless them, and the needs of our families will be met. During prayer it dawned on me something I have struggled with for such a long time; "why wasnt Jesus helping us as he promised?". I understand that Jesus in perfectly willing to bless my efforts, but first he has to have efforts to bless. I have to do all in my power to fulfill my obligations. I have to give a full five loaves and two fish - not three loaves, not two loaves. I have to apply all of me to the task and mission I am called to be and do, not haphazardly, but fully, methodically, completely. Jesus is asking for the dedication of my entire self to my vocation. And this HAS to include taking better care of myself.
Jesus has to have efforts to bless, and honestly, I have done a lot of whinning and complaining, feeling sorry for myself, and placing the blame on other things instead of trying and putting forth effort to reach the goals I desire so much.
07/24/2007 15:52
Can I just say How I really feel
Well its no secret that I have been avoiding EP, and actually the computer totally. I have been devoting a lot of my time to the children, the husband, the great outdoors, my faith journey, and keeping my home in some sort of cleanly order. Busy mom.
But I have also been avoiding writing anything here because I have just honestly felt defeated again, and I dont want to complain about it, I wanna do what I said and pick myself up and GO and DO THIS, but for some damn reason, Im stuck again, and I just cant do it. I even went to confession this weekend and confessed to the priest glutony as a stress releaver instead of relying on God and so on (because believe me, its been BAD lately again) and he gave me a penance of getting up on Monday morning and doing the excersize to get myself jump started again. I didnt freaking do it....and Im Catholic...REALLY catholic, I would never dream of NOT doing my penance, I love my faith, I live my faith, but Im so stuck.
This is why..... I did that 5K race, with in that same week I did a 12 mile bike ride, and 2 days of Turbo Jam. I ate pretty well, but had a little fast food because of baseball stuff.....I gained. And I havent been able to get back on the train since. I got on the scale and I am not any higher that what it says my current weight is now 228 (which was a huge suprise to me because I felt like I was back to 335 at least). I am still paying for a monthly pass to WW but I havent been there in nearly a month.
I hate being here, I hate talking about it, because I know I can do it, I just have to do it. Im always tired again. I cant get up when the alarm goes off at 5 a.m, Im sleeping in until 8 or so.
I dont know how else to explain it. Im so frustrated I just want to cry.
