No exercise and lots of food this weekend = trouble trouble trouble on Tues
Yes, as what my title goes, this weekend has been terrible in terms of food intake and exercise... really terrible. But luckily, in all other aspects, its been good. Things with my bf has been really good and i'm living in bliss now.
So today, I didn't do what I said I would yesterday. Indeed, I didnt manage to do any exercise at all!!! And its all thanks to my bf... he just wanted to laze around, and as I'm not a good swimmer, I dont feel comfortable enough to swim alone... and I didn't jog at all with my sis cos we sort of overslept in the morning. Sucks I know. And food was alright until dinner.... tried to eat as little as I could without feeling hungry, but eating out AND keeping within the calories allocated is really tough. And I had this craving for sweets when I got home, so I had like 300 cal worth of sweets?!?! Gummies to be exact. They are my weakest link. Gummies and chips. Those I can't resist!
So tomorrow will be a better day I promise. I will have to somehow ensure I jog at least 5km tomor! Feeling so guilty now for not exercising for 3 days straight (Fri, Sat, Sun). Hopefully I will be able to get my weight down for Tuesday's 2nd WI. I have to weigh in at 163lbs or less, in order to fulfil my first goal of being 150lbs by dec 08. Wish me luck!
I was watching this taiwanese show "Guess guess guess" and they were showing a show-case of five super babes in the bikini competition, and wow are they gorgeous... I took down some of their statistics.
Lady 1: 163cm 47kg 32B, 24, 35
Lady 2: 176cm 54kg 32B, 25, 36
Lady 3: 165cm 45kg 30C, 24, 34
Lady 4: 171cm 49kg 34C, 24, 35
Lady 5: 170cm 50kg 34C, 24, 35
Wow!!! Gorgeous!! So I really need to wait my secret ideal weight of 49kg, and hopefully by then my stats will be nearly there!
Oh manz, I overate today!!!!! And its not even because I really wanted to. But the good news is, me and my bf made up... and we are together again, happily! I know I said some mean things in my previous post, but, like most other girls, our barks are worst than our bites... I just needed to get all that angst out.
So, today, my bf invited me to his friends' gathering and it was great (except for all the eating). I love going to his gatherings with his friends, cos it just makes me feel so part of his life, and it makes me feel that he is proud to show-case me to his friends, in a sense. Insecured? Maybe, but irregardless, I really like doing things together.
Knowing that I will be having a big feast for dinner, I had a 300 cal breakfast of homemade sandwich and for lunch, fishball noodles and a chicken wing approx 550 cal. Then 2 slices of papaya and a yakult, total of approx 1010 cal. Then horror of horrors, we went to a vegetarian resturant for dinner at chinatown and the food was delicious, BUT, I have forgotten that it was a vegetarian restuarant, and all the "meat" I had were actually mock meat!!! Meaning the 9 dishes we had were all made of flour!!!! And to think I foregone my bowl of rice, for flour?!?! Arghhhhh! All my efforts gone down the drain, and $20 bucks for that too! Oh gosh, I feel I can kill myself for overeating and it wasn't even satisfying. I mean, if I wanted to cheat, I would rather have hogsbreathe cod fish or pasta!!!
And then to make matters worse, we went to have desert after that! Green tea with red beans snow flakes. Its yummy, but sweet and that means carbo and calories! Yikes. And no exercise for the day too! Oh shit.
But I must say I enjoyed the company I had today. His friends were hilarious and its great to mix around and chat and relax.
So, tomorrow, it looks like I've got to work doubly hard at walking/jogging the extra calories off.... Just took a peak at my scales and I think I just gained 1kg!!! 2.205lbs. That will completely wipe off my first WI loss! Argggghhhhhh. How did I let it happen right under my nose!!!! Today's intake of nearly 4000 cal!!!!
And so he had to hurt me again. I really don't know why I should be tolerating it. I know I deserve someone who truly appreciates me, DEFINATELY NOT someone who always think I am just unworthy, undeserving, fat and ugly. Because let me tell you, what gives him the right to critise?! He's not goodlooking at all, and super fat too, weighing in at 98kg. He's practically obese(he's only 1.72m tall), yet I never ever criticise him for anything!
I really don't know why I am still in this relationship. I've had just about enough. Every single day without fail, all he'll say is that I am fat and ugly, and how he wish I were like this girl, that girl... It sucks let me tell u. If you don't like me and my body, then let's just stop wasting time and break up, I tell him, and all he says is, I've no choice but to accept it.
Hey, you don't have to ACCEPT it. Don't like it? Then move on, fuck off. I swear if he were to say anything bad about my looks or my body again, I swear I will slap him. I've really reached my brim.
With that said though, I have to say, he is a good bf. But his bad comments is really enough to kill me, enough to make me want to pack my bags and walk out of this relationship. So, if YOU are reading this post, let me warn you, enough is enough. One more nasty comment from you about my shape, size and body weight, I AM WALKING OUT!!!
To all other readers (Except him), I apologise for my nasty post today, but I just have to get it all out.. No offense.
Hey all, yes, I know, second post within the hour. But I was just thinking, isn't it cool to be calculating and jotting down all the mini goals?! So here it goes:
1. From 166.3lbs to 150lbs: Timeline: 14 Sept 08 to 14 Jan 09. Event: My good friend Liping and WeiJie's wedding celebration.
2. From 150lbs to 140lbs: Timeline: 14 Jan 09 to 14 April 09. Event: My bf will propose to me once I am below 65kg/140lbs.
3. From 140lbs to 130lbs: Timeline: 14 April 09 to 14 July 09. Event: My happy weight as a birthday gift to myself.
4. From 130lbs to 120lbs: Timeline: 14 July 09 to 14 Dec 09: Event: My ideal weight and a present for my bf's birthday! And a Happy Happy Christmas!
5. From 120lbs to 110lbs: Timeline: 14 Dec 09 to 14 Feb 09. Event: My secret ideal weight (though may be overly skinny) And Happy Chinese New Year 2010!
So, first mini goal, 4 months to lose 16.3lbs. That is approximately 2kg a month. Sounds pretty achievable but it terms of weight loss, exercise and food, we can never be sure. Oh well!
Hi all!!! I just came back from a jog at the gym, and despite having my menses, and feeling extremely bloated from my breakfast choice of kfc toasted crispy twister and fries (not the healthiest choice I could make I know), I ran 6.1km non-stop!!!!! (though at a slow spd of 7.2km/hr). Feeling so so proud of myself! The first 2 km was pure torture, I had stomach cramps, and really just felt like giving up! But thinking back on yesterday night's steamboat buffet and this morning's junk food fiesta, I really need to work it all out, so I just kept going. Its weird how once you do 4km, you think just 1 more km to make 5km, and once you reach 5km, I just felt 1 more km to make 6km! And so thats what I did!!! I ran 6km!!!
Remember my post yesterday promising that I will do at least 5km to compensate for my buffet?! I did it!!!! Its really one of the rare times I actually stuck to my word for the weight loss efforts! Yippeee!!!
Its 3pm now, and I can feel that my stomach is very empty, though I still have lost and forgotten how hunger feels like... Contemplating whether I should eat or I should just wait till later when its nearly dinner.
My bf just had lunch and he brought back half of the 6" personal pan pizza-pineapple and ham pizza. Hmmmm. Still thinking if I should eat it or give him back and buy the healthier choice of sandwiches. Checked online and i think I'll give half of the pizza 350cal. Very rough estimate, but it will bring my total for today to 1430 cal and its not even dinner yet! Most likely today's intake is going to be much more than I allowed yet again. Should I or should I not??? Arggghhh so much junk food today!!
Hi hi, thanks for your comments. I think I didn't express myself too well in my previous post. Hahaha. You see, I didn't run 24km a day. I can't even run 6km a day! What I meant was, I have so far currently, since 15 Sept accumulatively ran 24km. And today, I ran 2km, bringing the total to 26km. Hahaha. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
So today, somehow I just felt weak. Weak enough for me to run only 2km (usually I run approx 3-5km). I think its a sub-conscious issue... its weird, but it seems i've lost the feeling of hunger. Apparently my body has "forgotten" how to feel hunger and its scary. Its scary how I can just skip breakfast, lunch, dinner, and if I were to be left to my own defenses, I will probably not end up eating for a whole day! Its like I am on phetermine, the appetite suppressing pills. Anyway, not to worry, I did have breakfast this morning at 11am. Dumplings soup. I didn't really want to eat and neither did I feel any hunger pangs, but I told myself eating is going to give me the strength I need for my gym session during lunchtime. I dont want to faint during my gym sessions!
And for lunch, I had a sandwich, not my choice of lunch, but today is simply too busy at work. Had the sandwich just 5 mins before a meeting! But it felt good. The ability to control my eating habits just really makes me feel so strong and in control somehow.
But, just a little after 5pm, I have this slight tightness in my head. Its like I can't seem to relax... and i suspect its because of my food intake (or maybe I am just being paranoid), so I suggested to my bf to go to hogsbreathe for dinner.
Hogsbreathe has this really delicious menu of cod fish, steak, and their ribs, hmmmmm yummy.
So after work, its vivo city we went, for the famous hogsbreathe! But alas, there was this promotion of chinese steamboat buffet, and in my bait to please my bf (I thought he preferred the steamboat buffet) we went to have the buffet. And can I tell you it really sucks. Firstly, its a buffet and it feels so weird not eating all you can to get your money worth and secondly, though its supposedly healthier, there just wasn't any satisfaction! And to think I wasted all my calories on that unsatisfying, expensive, not so great meal!!!! I am so mad I can kill myself for that horrid choice.
Feeling so guilty and all for overeating, especially over eating at something that didn't even quite deserve to be in the category of "delicious". Damnit, we should have just stuck to our planned hogsbreathe. At least then, my cravings would have been satisfied and my calories well spent!
And so, I;ve decided! Tomor I've got to run a 5km at least! I really can't believe I wasted my efforts on that meal! Keeping my fingers crossed that I wont gain.
Okay, back to happier stuff, so my bf and I caught the movie "Step Brothers". I didnt quite like it, though my bf felt it was hilarious. And many times through the show, I can just imagine my fats accumulating on my butts... I mean we sat there for like 2-3 hrs straight! I keep imagining how cinemas should have treadmills where we can just take a stroll on while watching the movie. Okay, i know its a terrible suggestion, but i think i am really addicted. Addicted to losing weight, and addicted to blogging here.
So hows everybody? I hope I keep this healthy eating and exercise at least till I reach my goal weight of 110lbs. Keeping my fingers crossed. Wish me luck!
Yes, I must not be too happy over the slight loss. I mean hey, its less than a kilo and for all I know, it could be water loss, nothing to be too happy about. There's just this thing I am afraid of, of the disappointment if tomor I am to realise my weight has shot up again.
Realised, its harder not eating at home somehow. I guess its because of the boredom at home that makes eating become so natural. I must go out more often with my bf, even if it were just to the starbucks by the beach. Its actually really relaxing and even when we are doing our own individual work, it feels good to be sitting next to each other, enjoying the companionship. Wow, dont I sound like a pair of old couples hahaha, lapping in the companionship and familiarity.
So anyway, I ate a little chocolate bar just now at ten at night. It fits into my 1600 calories allowance I have given myself today, so in terms of calories, I didnt overeat, yet somehow I just feel so guilty. Its weird but suddenly after eating, its like I can visualise it at my hips. I mean, you know what they say about sweet stuff and carbo especially eaten at night will go straight to the hips, and you know, my hips are already giantantic. It just makes me feel so guilty, and seriously, I didnt really enjoy it. Wish I have some nicer healthy snacks. Tomor I better go think of what healthy snacks to get, in case of emergencies like this.
Feeling so bad about the sweetness in the chocolate ... I didnt actually have any carbohydrates for dinner (trying to start skipping carbo just for dinner) and yet I have to ruin my efforts with not just normal carbo, but carbs in the form of sugar?!?!?!?!? ARgggghhhh What have I done!
So anyway, I realised my period is here today. Maybe thats why I lost that pounds I lost... Feeling rather sad now. Most likely it is because of the period... I always lose abit of the water retention once it comes and more when it goes.
I realise from the other bloggers that you all refer to "period" or "menses" as TOM? What does it stand for? Sorry, I know I am very ... ...
Oh yes, and did I tell you all, I am getting myself a ipod shuffle. The red ipod shuffle! Still thinking of what engravings I should have on the ipod. You see, my old running companion, the creative music player has died. And I need a player for my weekend runs by the beach. Anyway, I told myself I shall get it as soon as I complete running a total of 108km. You see, the apple ipod shuffle costs S$108 for the 2GB. So after I finish running 108km accumulatively (of course) I will get myself one. Still deciding between the pink one or the red one, but my sister has the pink one so I think most likely I will just get the red one. Hee Hee. Just thinking about it makes me happy!
Oh ya and did I tell you all that I've since completed 24km since 15 Sept? 24 km as in really 24 km. Non-stop jog. Walking the km doesnt count. And each time its also rounded down to the whole number. Being tough on myself right? But that makes the ipod more rewarding.
Hmmmm... how do I save a pic of it here? Hmmm see if I can figure it out.
Hi all! Thanks for all your comments! Really thankful for the encouragement from all of you. They're what is keeping me going. =) Anyway, I wanted to blog this morning while at work because I was so excited!!!! Today is my first weigh-in, exactly 10 days from the start of my weigh loss journey and I am just so excited!!! With so many things running through my mind, I just cant wait to tell you all all about it.
And so today I went to the office gym during lunchtime and took my weight! And..... you know what?!?!!!!!! I LOST!!!!!! I LOST WEIGHT!!!!! At first i really couldnt believe my eyes, I mean just yesterday and the days before, it was a gain, yet today, I LOST!!!! YES YES YES!!!
I can't tell you how excited I was. Its just simply the best feeling in the world, its like I won the olypmics or something. Yes, I know i am being ridiculous, i mean whats this little weight compared to the amount I need to lose, but still, wow, its so exciting, the happiness of it all.
Well, okay, time to calm down... the scales read 164.8lbs today, which should be 1.5lbs down (0.68kg) (take x lbs divide by 2.205 to get the y kg). Well, its only the first week so I wont be too greedy. Hee. Yeah! What do you know?!!?! I did it!!! I CAN LOSE WEIGHT!
Anyway, just wondering, anybody knows how I can protect my knee caps? I have heard lots of my older colleagues complaining of weak knee caps/joints, and therefore hindering their runs/jogs.... Sometimes for me too, when I run long distance, I can feel my knees growing weak... no pain for me though, just a weird different weaker feeling in the knees. I thought it was due to my lack of warming up and cooling down, but even after I stretch before jogging, its still there! Weird. How should I be protecting my knees?
Oh yes, which brings me to add to the list of advantages of losing weight : Weighing less will give my knees a break! They have been so wonderful, supporting my heavy body, its time to give them a break-- by weighing less!
Hi all, first of all, I will like to say a big Thank You to all of you readers and for your wonderful words of encouragement! Today has ended well (its nearly 11pm now), though it wasn't all that smooth...
Went to town today to run some errands for my work, and the depressing thing is, everywhere I turn, are teenagers, youngsters, with super athletic, toned, tanned bodies. Its really depressing to see all of them so happy, young and carefree. I mean, hey, I am only a few years older, at 25 years old... my body shouldn't look like that of a 40 year old mom!!!! But unfortunately it does! There is this unspoken theory it seems, that the extra weight makes a person look older than she is!
You know, I know I sound like a whiner, and ya, I am just whining, complaining and being pessimistic as usual, but then, in Singapore, or rather in most asian countries, being overweight is like being banished. Everywhere you look and the cheaper clothes are all just manufactured for petite sized typical asians, and seriously, at the height of 1.7m, I am nearly a gaint over here. Its rather rare to see a gal so tall. And not only that, weighing at 76kg, its like..... its just like hell. Practically every girl here, and I really mean at least 9 out of 10 weighs only a mere 45kg-55kg! And girls at 60+kg are already considered heavy, imagine me, a 25 year old weighing at 76kg! Its really undescribable, the feeling of not being able to fit in, esp at shopping malls where the young hang out.
Anyway, forgive me, I am just being extra fed-up and frustrated with myself, for not being able to fit into and look good in the beautiful little pieces of clothes I saw at the mall.... even when I visited places like Dorothy Perkins, Topshop, French Connection... somehow the sizes just aren't the same as those I saw in london... I think they altered the size. Anyway, its so damn frustrating.
When will I fit in and become one of those typical 25 year olds with taut toned tanned body?
I know I said some mean things in my previous post, but, like most other girls, our barks are worst than our bites... I just needed to get all that angst out.
I think I didn't express myself too well in my previous post. Hahaha. You see, I didn't run 24km a day. I can't even run 6km a day! 
What I meant was, I have so far currently, since 15 Sept accumulatively ran 24km. And today, I ran 2km, bringing the total to 26km. Hahaha. Sorry for the misunderstanding. 
And can I tell you it really sucks. Firstly, its a buffet and it feels so weird not eating all you can to get your money worth and secondly, though its supposedly healthier, there just wasn't any satisfaction! And to think I wasted all my calories on that unsatisfying, expensive, not so great meal!!!! I am so mad I can kill myself for that horrid choice. 
