Yes, I must not be too happy over the slight loss. I mean hey, its less than a kilo and for all I know, it could be water loss, nothing to be too happy about. There's just this thing I am afraid of, of the disappointment if tomor I am to realise my weight has shot up again.
Realised, its harder not eating at home somehow. I guess its because of the boredom at home that makes eating become so natural. I must go out more often with my bf, even if it were just to the starbucks by the beach. Its actually really relaxing and even when we are doing our own individual work, it feels good to be sitting next to each other, enjoying the companionship. Wow, dont I sound like a pair of old couples hahaha, lapping in the companionship and familiarity.
So anyway, I ate a little chocolate bar just now at ten at night. It fits into my 1600 calories allowance I have given myself today, so in terms of calories, I didnt overeat, yet somehow I just feel so guilty. Its weird but suddenly after eating, its like I can visualise it at my hips. I mean, you know what they say about sweet stuff and carbo especially eaten at night will go straight to the hips, and you know, my hips are already giantantic. It just makes me feel so guilty, and seriously, I didnt really enjoy it. Wish I have some nicer healthy snacks. Tomor I better go think of what healthy snacks to get, in case of emergencies like this.
Feeling so bad about the sweetness in the chocolate ... I didnt actually have any carbohydrates for dinner (trying to start skipping carbo just for dinner) and yet I have to ruin my efforts with not just normal carbo, but carbs in the form of sugar?!?!?!?!? ARgggghhhh What have I done!
So anyway, I realised my period is here today. Maybe thats why I lost that pounds I lost... Feeling rather sad now. Most likely it is because of the period... I always lose abit of the water retention once it comes and more when it goes.
I realise from the other bloggers that you all refer to "period" or "menses" as TOM? What does it stand for? Sorry, I know I am very ... ...
Oh yes, and did I tell you all, I am getting myself a ipod shuffle. The red ipod shuffle! Still thinking of what engravings I should have on the ipod. You see, my old running companion, the creative music player has died. And I need a player for my weekend runs by the beach. Anyway, I told myself I shall get it as soon as I complete running a total of 108km. You see, the apple ipod shuffle costs S$108 for the 2GB. So after I finish running 108km accumulatively (of course) I will get myself one. Still deciding between the pink one or the red one, but my sister has the pink one so I think most likely I will just get the red one. Hee Hee. Just thinking about it makes me happy!
Oh ya and did I tell you all that I've since completed 24km since 15 Sept? 24 km as in really 24 km. Non-stop jog. Walking the km doesnt count. And each time its also rounded down to the whole number. Being tough on myself right? But that makes the ipod more rewarding.
Hmmmm... how do I save a pic of it here? Hmmm see if I can figure it out.
Hi all! Thanks for all your comments! Really thankful for the encouragement from all of you. They're what is keeping me going. =) Anyway, I wanted to blog this morning while at work because I was so excited!!!! Today is my first weigh-in, exactly 10 days from the start of my weigh loss journey and I am just so excited!!! With so many things running through my mind, I just cant wait to tell you all all about it.
And so today I went to the office gym during lunchtime and took my weight! And..... you know what?!?!!!!!! I LOST!!!!!! I LOST WEIGHT!!!!! At first i really couldnt believe my eyes, I mean just yesterday and the days before, it was a gain, yet today, I LOST!!!! YES YES YES!!!
I can't tell you how excited I was. Its just simply the best feeling in the world, its like I won the olypmics or something. Yes, I know i am being ridiculous, i mean whats this little weight compared to the amount I need to lose, but still, wow, its so exciting, the happiness of it all.
Well, okay, time to calm down... the scales read 164.8lbs today, which should be 1.5lbs down (0.68kg) (take x lbs divide by 2.205 to get the y kg). Well, its only the first week so I wont be too greedy. Hee. Yeah! What do you know?!!?! I did it!!! I CAN LOSE WEIGHT!
Anyway, just wondering, anybody knows how I can protect my knee caps? I have heard lots of my older colleagues complaining of weak knee caps/joints, and therefore hindering their runs/jogs.... Sometimes for me too, when I run long distance, I can feel my knees growing weak... no pain for me though, just a weird different weaker feeling in the knees. I thought it was due to my lack of warming up and cooling down, but even after I stretch before jogging, its still there! Weird. How should I be protecting my knees?
Oh yes, which brings me to add to the list of advantages of losing weight : Weighing less will give my knees a break! They have been so wonderful, supporting my heavy body, its time to give them a break-- by weighing less!
Hi all, first of all, I will like to say a big Thank You to all of you readers and for your wonderful words of encouragement! Today has ended well (its nearly 11pm now), though it wasn't all that smooth...
Went to town today to run some errands for my work, and the depressing thing is, everywhere I turn, are teenagers, youngsters, with super athletic, toned, tanned bodies. Its really depressing to see all of them so happy, young and carefree. I mean, hey, I am only a few years older, at 25 years old... my body shouldn't look like that of a 40 year old mom!!!! But unfortunately it does! There is this unspoken theory it seems, that the extra weight makes a person look older than she is!
You know, I know I sound like a whiner, and ya, I am just whining, complaining and being pessimistic as usual, but then, in Singapore, or rather in most asian countries, being overweight is like being banished. Everywhere you look and the cheaper clothes are all just manufactured for petite sized typical asians, and seriously, at the height of 1.7m, I am nearly a gaint over here. Its rather rare to see a gal so tall. And not only that, weighing at 76kg, its like..... its just like hell. Practically every girl here, and I really mean at least 9 out of 10 weighs only a mere 45kg-55kg! And girls at 60+kg are already considered heavy, imagine me, a 25 year old weighing at 76kg! Its really undescribable, the feeling of not being able to fit in, esp at shopping malls where the young hang out.
Anyway, forgive me, I am just being extra fed-up and frustrated with myself, for not being able to fit into and look good in the beautiful little pieces of clothes I saw at the mall.... even when I visited places like Dorothy Perkins, Topshop, French Connection... somehow the sizes just aren't the same as those I saw in london... I think they altered the size. Anyway, its so damn frustrating.
When will I fit in and become one of those typical 25 year olds with taut toned tanned body?
Hi all, my apologies, but this post is mainly going to be about my ramblings. I'll probably be whining and whining here, so pls skip it or bear with me. =)
So today, after I came back from outside with my bf, my mom commented that I should not wear shorts to go out. Its too unsightly she says, my legs being so thick and with cellulite. It makes me look so much fatter. Arghhhhhh. I love my mom lots, but sometimes, her words really sting. I mean, I am trying my best to love and embrace my body as it is, with all the lumps and fats. Yes. But each time I succeed, it seems something will be there to pour cold water over my efforts.
Just like now, its been more than a week, 8 days to be exact, 7 out of 8 days of jogging and walking consistently for more than 24 km accumulatively now and instead of losing weight, I seem to be gaining rapidly instead.
But nonetheless, whether its my hallucination or imagination, my thighs seem to be smaller. Haha. And irregardless of what the scale reads, with each jog/walk that I do, I feel more confident of myself. Its weird how contagoius it is! And really, I have not lost any weight, yet somehow, I just feel "Slimmer". And let me tell you, that feeling is just magical.
Just can't seem to rid eating during the wee hours!
Heyo, first of all, thanks for all the comments! Really appreciate them! =) The comments made me feel so accompanied in this journey of discovery. =) Cheers to all!
As what my title says, I just cant seem to rid eating during the wee hours. As you know, I am from Singapore, and its 12.30am now here, and while typing and posting my post, I am munching on cookies (i am keeping count--10 at the moment). And its really bad... I seem to be able to control my eating until dinner, where it'll just go bazaar even if I am satisfied and full. Just like now, I just reached home from a trip to starbucks, and just drowned down 2 cups of passionfruit brewed tea (choice of drink not my usual but trying my best to choose the drink with least calories). Feeling super bloated with all the water, yet I still feel the uncontrollable urge to munch, munch n munch, even when my hands are busy typing. Argghhh.
So I weighed myself this morning (not my WI yet) and the numbers are increasing, from 75.4kg to 77kg overnight! Is it possible?!?!?! I am trying to convince myself its the water. Since i've started exercising, my water intake has increased significantly (from practically 0litres to 2/3litres), but nonetheless, I'm devastated. I think it has alot to do with my food choices, though I have to say its healthier than my previous choices a month ago.
Will take it one step at a time! Afterall, it didnt take me a week to gain all the kilos... actually it took me 3months to reach 77kg from the weight of 72kg! 3 months it took to gain 5kg. So i am keeping my fingers crossed that I can lose 5kg in 3 months. Hahaha. Ok ok, take a step at a time gal!
Just five minutes ago, my friend Dennis told me something on the messager. We were just chit chatting about his efforts towards weightloss, and I was advising him about going on crash diets (he is hardly eating) and I was advising him that this will backfire ultimately, and told him to watch his health, and you know what he said to me????!!!!!
He says "I know better than you, and I will not let you undermine my determination. You are just being jealous that I am losing weight."
And when i told him nicely again that I have been researching and reading on weight loss for the past 10 years and I've tried it and done it all before, and he said "Regardless of what you say and how you are going to influence my willpower, I will not listen to u. Besides, I am more motivated than you. You are just being jealous."
Oh my gosh!!! So much for trying to help him out. I should have just kept my comments to myself and let him suffer! Can you believe how disgusting a person can get?!?!
Argggghhhh or maybe its just me. Fat people like me has no credibility. Arghhhhhhhh.
Hey all, todays theres good news and bad news. The good news is, I took a sneak at the weighing machine scale earlier and its still at 166.2lbs. The bad news is, despite all my hard work at exercising for the past six days, i still haven't lost!!!
But, granted, i ate nearly 4000 cal yesterday... and to think I ate each meal being super mindful of everything I put into my mouth! That means, previously, you can just imagine how many calories i must have consumed!!!
So, i think i will cut down on my food intake. Also, is it me or do you guys also felt this: When i eat less, i seem to have consitispation.... despite having lots of fruits,vege and water. Is that healthy?
Wow its unbelievable! I just went to my company gym to jog, and guess who I saw! As you know, I've not been exercising and not been going to the gym since june 08, and I met my colleague, (different department/storey), her name is Raffii, and wow, its unbelievable how much weight she lost!
Its only been 3 months?!?! And she wasnt even exercising everyday, just twice a week max, joining our kickboxing classes at the company gym, and her arms, they look so small!!! Wow, i'm so impress!
But of course, the other gym goers didnt notice the difference as they see her every other day at the gym. But its unbelievable her transformation!!!
Have you ever justified to yourself that your body needs more food after exercising? Have you ever had the feeling that because of exercise, it is right to eat more, that somehow it is alright?
Well, I realised that since exericising consistently for the past 4 days, my mind somehow manages to justify and allow myself to eat more, even though I am not hungry. And after doing a calculation of how many calories I have taken the past few days, I am so shock to know that previously I have been taking at least 4000 worth of calories. All those mindless eating, really kills.
So in summary (good days), I ate:
15 Sept 08 Mon: 2710(consumed) - 300(exercise) = 2410 cal
Decreasing gradually, but I still think the past few days' worth of exercise would have only helped me in maintaining my current weight and not to bring it down. I read on a magazine that as adults with a sedartary lifestyle, I will only need 1600 cal to maintain my weight!!! Which means for the past 3 days, I consumed at least 1200 cal extra!!! Which means 1/2 pound GAIN?!?!?! This just doesn't make sense. It sucks.
Anyway, I will carry on, I will give myself more time. I should be able to see the effects of my past efforts next week (I read from some of your blogs that the weight will be reflected only a week later), so keeping my fingers crossed that everything will turn out good.
I so so just need a sign, any loss will do.
Anyway, I found out yesterday that my creative ipod has died. Its been my uncomplaining running companion for 3 years and yesterday it just died! No music, no sound, it wont even start. =( So from today on, no more music as i jog. Thats sad. =(
